Eternal Echoes

letting go of the need to suceed...

I am preparing for Church Council meetings, it is an ongoing thing, and I guess I should not be surprised that the same questions of what we are going to do and where our future lies are once again raising their heads...

The trouble is I think we ask both too much and too little of ourselves at the same time! Let me explain, when questions of survival are raised it is easy for us to focus inward, to draw up lists of our faults, failings and inadequacies. When we do that and we become our own focus it is easy to make anyone who suggests the terrible "C" (change) word the enemy, we ask to little of ourselves because we feel that we are simply unable to do everything. Of course the truth is that we are unable to do everything and the key is to unwrap the gift of that and to see it for what it is. Conversley it is easy to ask too much of ourselves, to make ourselves the architects of "our future" and to run ourselves ragged in trying to push what often seems like a weighty boulder uphill, once again, those who don't want to be moved uphill become our enemies. The result of both is that we isolate ourselves from the communities that we are placed in/ called to and we fail to be the salt and light that Jesus calls us to be.

I know that I am back on my "old soap box" if you want to see that see here, and here, and here; and yes I am rolling out the same quote because for me it is fundamentally important to our ability to engage with a sense of mission, vision and calling: Sarah Savage and Eloene Boyde-McMillan in their book "The Human Face of Church", citing Max Weber they say:

  “Weber argued that any great vision require a human process to carry it through time, sometimes in the form of “a man, a mission, a movement, or a monument”. Even with the Body of Christ, the life giving charism has to be embodied in a routine – in some form of human organisation. Yet, life giving visions do not fit easily into neat boxes. So the very process that gives the vision continuing life also begins to kill it. When the maintenance of the institution (which protects the charism) becomes the institutions primary purpose, the death of the charism is on the horizon. Only spiritual revival or reform will re-ignite the gift.” (Savage and Boyd-McMillan 2007. p4)

Too often our desire to either return to a golden age ( which I doubt in truth existed) or to simply mnaintain and protect what we have, causes us to draw up the sides of our neat boxes and repell all boarders whilst worrying , yes still worrying about how to keep that box afloat in a storm.

A recent report comissioned by one of the churches that I serve from an outside party has pointed out that the church is running around circles, it seems that we have adopted the "what do we do now syndrome", I know very well that it was in this mode before I came, and I pray that together we might find the strength to stop running.

More and more I am convinced that this is the answer, the Body of Christ seems to be in crisis, and as I ponder this I ponder the fact that so often we are blinded by our need to succeed, we fear failure above all else and our fear in turn blinds us to the deep and abiding love of God. More and more when faced the question of what shall we do I find myself answering longing to answer, " lets, stop, let's  let go, let's love the people in front of us and take things step by step until a wider and greater vision emerges.

Now I know that, that probably sounds like a cop out, but I really don't think it is, because with the stopping will come an intentional letting go and a deep listening. I wonder if while we may think we have been listening we have been too busy running and repeating the same old question so often that we don't realise we are asking it. Letting go calls us to see our emptiness, our inabilities and our lack of vision and to offer them to God, I suspect that maybe it is only then that the blessing will begin to emerge. Maybe being at the end of our own rope will turn out to be a deep blessing:

 “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." ( Matthew 5:3 The Message)

or to quote Richard Rho on the beatitudesr:

Each of these invitations, for that is what they are, are concerned about vulnerable and outpouring relationship, which is necessary for the second half of life, in the same way that the Ten Commandments serve for ego-identity in the first half of life. The Beatitudes are descriptions of a mature human person much more than prescriptions for other-worldly salvation. They offer something astoundingly new to human consciousness, which is a lifestyle based on vulnerability, mutuality, service--and thus a willingness to be usable for God, history, healing, and one another.

So maybe it is time to let go of our fears and need to suceed and see what emerges organically through us:

 “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples. (John 15: The Message)

walking a mile in another's shoes...

Today I have felt angry, sad, helpless and hopeless, I have been given a rare chance to truly spend a few hours in somebody else's shoes and it was heartbreaking. Yesterday I met a young man who has recently been released from prison, he came to Blackpool using his travel warrant, and with a bit of money in his pocket. He had been in prison for 7 years and was very disorientated, his money quickly gone he came to us for help, and I have been trying to help him to get onto the benefits system, to find somewhere to live.

He does have family but they have disowned him, he has no address, no money, no shelter, nothing but the red holdall that contains a spare shirt, a sleeping bag and a few out of date forms and contact numbers. 

He had been to the housing team at Blackpool Council, but they are so overwhelmed that they could do nothing straight away, he went to the two homeless hostels in the town but they were both full. With no address he is unable to claim benefits, with no phone or  computer he has not got an easy way to apply for them, the library who do have computers turned him away because he has no address, so as we have done before we have allowed him to use the church as his home address, then we got onto the phone to call the Job Centre Plus, I made the initial call because he was so overwhelmed. Six different phone numbers, a lot of button pushing and sets of canned instructions telling me it would be easier to apply on -line later we finally got through to a human being. I handed him the phone.

You'd have thought that being able to speak to a real human being that the saga might have been over, but no, I sat with him as he repeated his details not once, not twice but eight different times and still he was not able to access the system. We will tray again this evening as I am taking my laptop to church, hopefully things will be easier on line!

I can see now with fresh eyes why people simply give up and walk away, why people feel hopeless and helpless and rail against the system, after an hour of listening to canned responses, after repeating the same information over and over again, after that sense that you are not a person with a name and needs and feelings but a number, a statistic to be crunched by a faceless bureaucracy!

Now I know that the Job Centre Staff and Local Councils are overwhelmed but I weep for the lack of humanity in the system and I am grateful that we can offer a listening ear, a bit of company and plenty of tea. I am also grateful for ourlovely volunteers many of whom have been in and through the system and are able to give us an understanding of it. I am grateful for the way that they reach out in generosity giving so often from the little that they have. I am grateful also today for the swift response of our local MP Paul Maynard who truly does care about the people he serves.

Having said all of that I am left feeling sad, overwhelmed and not a little helpless and hopeless, I am rarely reduced to tears but today I was, mostly because the young man is so much more than a statistic, he is not a problem to be solved, he is a human being with needs and feelings, and more than anything he needs other human beings to notice that he is a human being, to see his worth and to count him as worthy of love and care. Today I walked a mile in his shoes and I have been humbled by the experience, he was so grateful for the little that we did. 

My prayer is that we will not become so overwhelmed by the need that surrounds us that we are unable to respond, that we won't become hardened by the constant flood of need that we fail to see the humanity in the folk who come to us, that we might like Mother Theresa be able to see Christ, the image and revelation of God in  we share with those we are called to serve. Today this young man drew me from my self and I am grateful.

Heaven touching earth: photo mine

 

compelled by love ( all this for you)

Before I start I will state that while I am a Methodist Minister ( Presbyter) the views in this blog post are my own views and while I hope that they will in some way reflect the views and mission of the Methodist Church, they remain simply my views.

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I am responding to Quentin Lett's Radio 4's Programme "What's the point of...?" broadcast this morning at 9am, and to be broadcast again this evening at 9:30pm. Today he was asking "What's the point of Methodism?"

I am not going to  enter into a long critique of the programme which raised some interesting points about our history and origins, and spoke of both scriptural holiness and social justice in a positive way. I am not even going to touch the possible ensuing conversation about whether we should of shouldn't join with the Church of England, but rather I want to speak of what I felt was missing because it is because of what I felt was missing that I find myself in the Methodist Church today often slipping on my "dog-collar" and wondering " how did that happen...!"

I know the answer to my own often voiced rhetorical question, it happened because of the love and grace of God, it happened because I found in Methodism a way to Christ that I had not found elsewhere, and it is the love and grace that I find rooted in the Arminian theology of Prevenient Grace that has set me free to stand in a place where I can begin to say that I am here because Christs love compells me.

Let me say now that I am a "convert," I do not have a history of Sunday School or a good solid Methodist upbringing or a good solid anything upbringing for that matter, I came to faith by discovering the power of prayer at a difficult time in the life of my then young family. Through prayer I discovered a God who was very real and very present, but my journey into faith was not so easy; I struggled with the sense that I was not acceptable and tried to obey all sorts of rules to make myself acceptable. For some reason I could not accept that God loved me for me.  The more I tried to make myself acceptable the more I invented God as a monster in my own eyes failing to see the true revelation of his love in the person of Jesus. It was only when I began working for the Methodist Church as an outreach worker and was fortunate enough to begin studying at the same time that another theological window, another way of thinking about God, and thinking about how God might think about me opened up.

What if the God that Jesus revealed really identified with the poor, reached out to the oucast, healed the untouchable, and included the unclean, the foreigner and the sinner; anyone who could that could be labled "other" by those trying to create an exclusive community? What if God loved us first and calls forth love from us? What if God is bigger and more inclusive than I could possibly imagine?

As I began to follow and worship this God, not the angry monster God I found that I could begin to love and accept myself, it was the revelation and the still unfolding revelation of this love that drew me into ministry, that drew me beyond my own small confines and boundaries to love " the other", discovering that they are not other at all but that we share a common humanity.

Some of the most powerful words in the Methodist Worship book ( for me) are written in the Baptism Liturgy, those words; "All this for you" are preceded by the declaration of God's revelation in the person of Jesus, including "for you he lived and showed Gods love".  

It is this revelation that set a flame burning within my heart, it is this revelation that stirs my soul, it is here that "God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who  we really are. ( Romans 8:16). Precious, beloved children of God, made in Gods own image. Surely if I am a precious, beloved child of God then so is my neighbour, and more challengingly the one I call "other" for any reason, in fact the other is who I am particularly called to love, for it was to the other that Jesus came! The truth then is that not only can I be drawn beyond my own boundaries, but to declare that there are none, there can be none! As a friend of mine says " there is nothing secular except for sin", and all sin is is that thing that seperates us from God. So with boundaries and barriers gone we can live out our theology, and all are ( now) welcome at the table!

All of this is hugely challenging for the Methodist Church, because as the Radio show revealed Methodism appears to be built on certain standards and values, traditionally calling people to sobriety and a morally upright way of life, to social action and to have a passion for justice, but what it missed is that the source of these lies in the move of God.  John Wesley's own journal contains the telling declaration ;

"I felt my heart strangely warmed. I felt I did trust in Christ, Christ alone, for salvation; and an assurance was given me that He had taken away my sins, even mine, and saved me from the law of sin and death.."

It was this assurance, this experience that compelled him, this experience, this assurance that compelled many of those who were touched by his preaching and the movement that followed Methodism is primarily born of the Spirit, an experienced encounter with God, and while this is not unique perhaps its expression in concern for the poor and a desire for social justice is a mark of that move and a particular gift. Yes we sing our theology, but there is a reason that the Methodist Hymnody is important, music made the message acessible and memorable and is well known to touch the heart and the spirit in ways that words alone cannot. Yes many Methodists are passionate about Social Justice and politics but these all have their roots in the move of the Spirit that Welsey experienced as his heart was strangley warmed.

Our problem? I want to suggest that it is the phenomena known as " convert and lift"- that is to say that as people took on the moral values and aspirations and possibilities of living differently that we lost our roots, Methodism became middle class and lost the Spirit. Oddly I came from a middle class background and the Spirit found me! That said I know many passionate and committed people called Methodist, people who serve, people who love, people who light up a room with the love of God that flows from them, people who are passionate not only for God but through God for their neighbours both local and global.

Will we die out? Not if we dare to follow the way of Christ and dare to give ourselves away, not if we allow the Spirit to inspire and equip and guide us, not if we fan into flame the gift within us and recognise afresh that we are a movement and not an institution. More than anything  we need a fresh fire to fill our hearts and that fire must be of God not of our own striving, and it must be a fire of grace, a desire to include rather than exclude, to accept the other, to include the other, to identify with the outcast, to become as Christ...

I leave you with a story from last night at our Drop in here in Blackpool " The Comfort Zone", one of our community members bounced in full of energy and love carrying a bunch of flowers, her gift to us for no particular reason, and expression of love and joy, she blessed us all. It was another members birthday, touched by his story we bought him a card and a cake, he was really pleased, but when it came to cutting and sharing his cake he refused, he wanted to take it home and to keep it for himself. At the end of the evening we gathered around the table to share in prayer and communion, and neither were excluded, such is the love and grace of God with us, and that should bring us all to our knees! Love is stronger than death....

All this for you!

Maybe what we need is a rebranding exercise, as the programme mentioned we were also once called Enthusiasts! A discipleship movement shaped for mission! Called to life in Christ, living out a calling to love, to justice, to holiness and compassion. Maybe what we need to rediscover is that flame that so set Wesleys' heart ablaze, the Spirit of God calling us to live out our inner experience in Spirit and in truth.

Let us take up the cross 
till we the crown obtain, 
and gladly reckon all things loss 
so we may Jesus gain.

Image: Canvas 1 of Waves of Grace - mine ( a comission for a church in Blackburn)

 

 

All this...

I have just posted some photos to Facebook, they are photos of our preparations for this evening when we meet together at North Shore Methodist Church in Blackpool. We will be celebrating Pentecost. We will meet to eat, share stories, talk, pray and worship together. Here are those pictures:

We love symbols, candles, water and oil will all be present this evening. The Icon and the rosaries are also important to us, to add to these we have prayer blankets and paper and pens will also be available for those wishing to write prayers or blessings and leave them in the basket. Interestingly we write more prayers for others and blessings are often prayed for friends and family. I say interestingly because when we meet as a community tonight I will be reminded once again how amazingly priviledged I am, many who I will meet with are struggling to make ends meet, many have been victims of government sanctions, some are desperate, and some are homeless. I will hear stories of the 20p Hilton ( read public toilets) and from a couple who are living in a tent, packing it up every morning and walking the streets of Blackpool with it until the pitch it again in the evening. Everything they own is contained in a suitcase.

This evening we will celebrate with cake, we will share bread and wine and prayers will be said, we know God's presence with us, last week we were overwhelmed by the love and power of God at work among us. We were made aware of a love that knows no barriers of gender, race or status, we are all loved, all valued, all important.

How can it be then that these are a good idea?

How can it be possible that a community might value others so little that they treat the other as vermin, a mere nuiscance to be disuaded from shelter?

How can it be possible in the 21st Century in a so called civilised country for us to have a definite "under-class", a forgotten, hidden ( we wish), marginalised group of people? How can this be? It makes me angry, and week by week as I meet with my friends I am driven to my knees in weeping for the plight of so many, and there are many, and for many it is a small thing that has pushed them over the edge into spiralling poverty. 

You can find the story behind the studs here, please read it and let it challenge you, the question it brings to us, "who is my neighbour?" is one that we sorely need to hear, and not I suspect only in this context. Yesterday at Church we welcomed a lovely family and their friends, a father and son were baptised, after the baptism and during a hymn I offered a blessing for any that might choose to receive on, we ran out of hymn as the queue of people coming forward grew, not just the baptism family but the regular congregation too, some of whom will gather with us this evening, all of whom were responding to the love of God.

There are times when I wonder how on earth I became caught up in the wonder of all that God is doing among us at North Shore, people are hungry for God, there are some who have church backgrounds and those who don't, people who have been hurt, confused and even ignored by church and some for whom it is all a new adventure. It is not helpful to categorise folk because " it risks turning people into ecclesiastical 'widgets' or commodities. Categorising or defining people in a way that allows them to be quantified is helpful for particular pieces of analysis but risks depersonalising human beings made in the image of God. It also feels very institutional"1 , and this move of God is not about the institution, not about the survival or otherwise of a particular church in a particular setting but about how people are being wooed by a God who loves them, in this we are simply his co-workers or channels, and I often find that my task is to stand around looking amazed and wonder what on earth will hapen next.

God is with us, this I do know, and as we gather to tell his story, the wonder of creation, incarnation , and spirit power become real in us, as we take and break bread we are nourished by him, as we pour and drink wine we are cleansed, as we bless one another with symbol of water and oil we are healed, and as we light candles our prayers ascend to heaven. We find ourselves enveloped by grace, none is excluded, no humanbeing made in the image of God should be marginalised, there is Good News for the poor, sight for the blind, healing and hope for the outcast, and freedom for the prisoners.

As I baptised baby Oscar and his Dad yesterday I used the wonderful words "All this for you", Jesus shows us clearly with outstretched bleeding hands "all this for all"

1. http://www.freshexpressions.org.uk/views/unchurched : Andrew Roberts 

trust and frailty ( a prayer at the beginning of a new venture)

our frailty lies before our eyes

our vulnerability

internal and external,

we are at the end of ourselves, and

even at the beginning of the road

 we have no strength,

no hope but you...

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our frailty lies before our eyes

and you say "feed my sheep,

come follow me",

but our hands are almost empty...

and you say "only offer

what you have..."

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still our frailty lies before our eyes,

our doubts rise as surely as the tides,

and you say

"leave your boat, come walk

across the water,

release your fears,

 follow me..."

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still our frailty lies before our eyes... but

to whom else could we go?

and so we come,

only help us

with strength to follow ...

 

God with us...

Sometimes I question where God is, other times things happen that open my eyes to see that to name something a coincidence is to fail to see that we are not existing by pure chance but that God IS with us. This week has been one of those weeks.

It all began with prayers for a Comfort Zone Community member who has died recently, we thought that his funeral had taken place, but a well placed encounter with the Community Police team and we knew that this was not the case. Peter will now get a good send off in place of a paupers funeral. 

That conversation led to another one, and the Police Officer met in the cafe oposite  one church building discovered that the other church I serve is  situated right in the town centre and has a coffee shop open every day. The following day when the Officer needed somewhere to bring a young couple she brought them in to the coffee lounge. 

Coincidence, maybe, but there is more to the story, the young couple revealed that they were homeless and shared their story with us. I was in the coffee lounge but only because while I wanted to go home something told me I should stay, the Spirit at work; as events unfolded this became clearer and clearer...

Having heard the couples story  I placed a call to one of our volunteers who is amazing at finding flats for folk, she told me that she had called a landlord that morning on the off chance, but it was more than an off chance, she found his phone number on a crumpled piece of paper in the recycling box. He had a one bed room flat available. I took the young couple to see it...

The landlord was happy with them, and partly because of our good relationship with the landlords in Blackpool offered them the flat without a bond, and is happy to wait for housing benefit to come through! This afternoon I dropped them off at the flat to to sign the papers and to collect their key. They were delighted, they have been homeless for 3 months and were fleeing from violence in another town. They have an address at last, and life is beginning to look up...

Gos IS with us, and when we question that we need to remember that we see stories like this unfolding among us, and we need to hang onto a more expansive truth than we already know! 

Today we had reason to celebrate...

 

(Picture; 1; Beauty from brokenness. Picture 2: Our lovely community)

Is it well with my soul?

I am pondering a question that seems to be asked with less and less frequency, pondering that in the early days of Methodism the question "Is it well with your soul?" was not only expected but possibly even welcomed by members of the small bands or classes that gathered the members of this new movement together every week. The question was not one of nosiness nor was it meant to be intrusive, rather it was a genuine enquiry asked of one who had declared themselves to be serious about discipleship.

It is a question that I need to ask myself and also to allow trusted others to ask of me, and yet it is one that I rarely encounter, and if I am honest rarely ask. I think that needs to change; let me explain, we are always hearing how the church needs to change, how the church needs to let go of the past, how the church needs to re-engage with the society around it, and we are battered by these statements. We are battered and we feel like failures, shame covers us and we retreat to lick our wounds, readjust our armour and get back into the fight...

We find ourselves in a fight often with each other insisting that we alone or at least our group of friends hold the answer to the ills of the day, "if only we could move forward/ turn back the clock" all would be well. I suspect that this is all symptomatic of a much deeper malaise, and when we grumble about the hymns and style of worship, the type of people we are reaching and the "others" who simply don't think like we do we are revealing a disconnect with our souls and therefore with God.

When we close ourselves to one another, when we retreat into ourselves or our group, when we will not and cannot hear another point of view then surely we are closing ourselves to God also. There is a lot of deep hurt in all of this, hurt that is not easy to unpack or uncover, hurt that letting go of our armour always produces for whether we are protecting ourselves from or in the past change, real change makes us vulnerable. Real change involves our whole selves, and quite possibly begins with the question "is it well with my soul?"

Is it well with my soul? Why am I hurting and confused?

Is it well with my soul? Why do I find these people/ideas difficult?

Is it well with my soul? Why am I frustrated and angry?

Is it well with my soul? Am I at peace with God?

Is it well with my soul? the question takes us deeper than the externals of our faith to encounter the God who longs for the best for us...

Is it well with my soul? Today I am asking myself this question, I cannot ask it of others if I am not prepared to answer it myself, in a time of change I have come to the conclusion that this is probably the most important question we need to ask ourselves and allow trusted friends to ask us, perhaps then with deeper understanding and grace, with renewed love for God, others and ourselves we will be able to move forward wherever forward may take us.

 

beyond the them and us syndrome....

Dear Church,

yes I am writing to you again, writing because I hear your desire for renewal and growth, I am also writing because I need you to know that I do not have a quick fix solution to bring people flooding through our doors. Let me burst a current few myth bubbles; "they" are no going to come if we install a data projector and install a screen, "they" won't come because we have decided to replace the organ with a worship band. "They" might come to a special event if you invite "them", but it is unlikely that "they" will come again on Sunday morning....

Oh and while we are talking about Sunday morning I'd just like to say that I think we've blown its importance out of all proportion especially when we measure our successes by Sunday morning attendance, or use it as a barometer of our health.

I wonder if you'd come with me through the doors to meet "them", your friends, your neighbours, your children even, these are the  folk who don't come. It is easy to criticise "them" in our meetings and gatherings, but when you get out there amongst "them" the picture is quite different. You'll find you know "them", that you understand "them" and even dare I say that you like "them".

So maybe the question is not so much about how we get "them" to come, but more about how we share with these friends and neighbours and families of ours the miracle and mystery of a living relationship, our living relationship with God. I think you will find that most of your neighbours won't want to argue the finer points of doctrine with you, but they'll probably accept a helping hand and even a prayer in a time of need. Or maybe it will be the other way around, maybe the gracious and humble way that you accept their help will speak to them....

Be confident in your relationship with God, it is not about knowing all of the right answers, we'll never know all of the right answers, but it is about the mystery that we are loved and accepted by the creator of the universe who knows us through and through with all of our faults and flaws. It is about the peace that passes understanding in the most difficult of circumstances, the light that shines in dark places, and the hope that will not let us go even in the face of adversity. 

Here is a wonder that we too often forget, Jesus ministry and mission did not stop at the cross for he overcame death and was raised to life, fullness of glorious resurrection life, and this is the life that he invites us into. And while we so often remember that the cross is where all of our wrongs are forgiven, I wonder how often we focus upon our unworthiness and forget that the cross is where all of our guilt (often self imposed) and shame is also cleaned away. I wonder how often we wear masks, brittle and hard masks of self sufficiency because we feel that as Christians we should have it all together. I wonder if sometimes we have worn them for so long that they have become a part of us. I wonder if we are aware that our friends and neighbours and children, "they" see something false in us because we are not being true to ourselves or before God.

So here is the challenge, lets not focus on attracting folk with technology and trying to be up to date for we'll fail there anyway. Instead lets focus on living out a life of love, let's focus on being Jesus disciples living with our own brokenness in a broken world and seeking to make a journey towards wholeness and daring to invite others towards us. Let's dare to become again a living and vibrant community of faith able to live with our questions and the questions of others. Let's become a people who celebrate life in all of its richness and diversity, let's value one another for who we are, learning to love God, others and even ourselves as we journey together. Let's not worry about Sundays but rather seek to live this celebratory life everyday, let's learn to be our true authentic Christian selves with our friends, family and neighbours, lets stop referring to "them" as "them" and work towards becoming us for we are all on a journey.

Maybe we need to stop fretting and worrying and start being, maybe when we seek for  renewal and growth in ourselves we'll begin to see our lives touch the lives of others. Maybe as we seek to  be generous with our lives. we'll prompt people to open up with God, our generous Father in heaven.

Can this be wrong???

Over the last few weeks I've noticed a rise in the number of face-book comments and blog posts surrounding the question of the role of women in the church. These are coming from all sorts of angles and traditions, and while my usual reaction these days is to simply let this rumble on around me like so much white noise, every now and then it makes me really angry, and today is one of those days. I am not angry for myself particularly but angry for friends, good friends and good ministers who keep on getting hurt by stupid, yes stupid comments from people who try to put them down and question their calling. I have received a couple of e-mails just today from Godly women who are being treated appallingly because they are women, one e-mail said that the attacks, and don't get me wrong I am not using the word attack without thought, the attacks, are often followed with the loving phrase, "nothing personal of course." 

Nothing personal???? You mean it is OK to question someones calling, their inner being and then say "nothing personal???" It is not OK, it is very far from OK, and that is what has prompted me to write. I am not going to set out a Biblical argument as to why women can and should be ministers, and how complimentarianism is wrong, quite simply because I know that I will be inundated with those who will throw proof texting counter-arguments at me, and we could get into a theological slanging match which is not something anyone would find edifying!

Instead I'd like to share a little of my journey with you; I was brought up in an unchurched home, and when I came to faith in my twenties it did not occur to me that women and men were anything but equal in the eyes of God or of the church. I was soon to find out that I was wrong, even though I knew an early call to preach and to be an evangelist this made others uncomfortable and I have been counselled to stop being pushy and to consider what other women in the church did. This seemed strange to me because many of these women were competent professionals, but when I did a double take I discovered that within the church their teaching was often confined to Sunday School ( and there is a whole other debate there) , and their activities to "creative things" like baking and flower arranging. Don't misunderstand me I like cakes and enjoy flowers, but I am not gifted in either of these creative outlets in any striking way. BUT I am pretty good with words and I can preach, but the criticisms rumbled on, I was even accused of "stealing" my husbands ministry!

In the 1990's Tim ( mu husband ) joined an evangelistic organisation who conducted week and fortnight long missions, I too joined in with this, and while I was accepted as a team member and even a second in command leader, I was never allowed to lead, even though I have a letter from the founder of the mission quoting General Booth who said; " some of my best men are women" followed by the statement " such are you".

When life took me into Lay Ministry in the Methodist Church it soon became clear that God was calling me to take another step and to offer for Ordained Ministry, through the years of interviews and training that followed that call was confirmed again and again. BUT I still meet opposition, and the naysayers of my early steps into ministry have not all melted away, and sometimes they can be very loud indeed. Usually my stance, as I have said, is to ignore these voices, in effect turning the other cheek and allowing the fruit of ministry to speak for itself, but when I hear of my friends and colleagues being hurt and abused it makes me see red, and I simply ask those who are involved in critisising to take a deep breath, step back and look.Choose to lay aside all of your well formed arguements, your traditions and prejudices and look, look at the good being done by women ministers and priests, look at the creative and innovative ways that they work, see the fruit and the blessings that they bring, and ask yourself, seriously ask yourself, can this be wrong?

church alive......?

Come with me to Church, walk up the path and through the door, I hope that you will be welcomed warmly, but if you have time just take a look around our foyer, you’ll see a Christians Against Poverty Banner letting folk know that our centre is now open, also a collecting box for the Selby and District Food Bank, and a notice board with details of activities and events. What you won’t know is that this has not always been the case, and that some people don’t like it looking as it does, only last Sunday I heard of complaints, people asking what the entrance says about us; I hope it says that we care about the poor, the hungry and the homeless.

 

Now imagine for a moment that you are one of the guests of the family who are bringing their baby to be baptised, you’re a bit confused because you thought that baptisms were private services but this morning the whole church is here; all of these people make you feel a bit nervous. I hope that we’ll help you to relax, and that you’ll enjoy the service; you might be surprised by the fact that we use a screen and video projector and the atmosphere is much less formal than you’d expected….

 

Now imagine you are a fly on the wall overhearing a later discussion, one of the retired Local Preachers has tackled me he thought the service was a shambles, the prayers weren’t right and the sermon not hard hitting enough, “those people need to understand God’s message!” Another member approaches me, “you did well considering those people didn’t know how to behave” is the comment made. I was speechless, and the next comment made me even angrier, “at least they dressed up properly”….

 

Them and us syndrome is a horrible curse, it prevents us from seeing others in a positive light, it puffs us up and fills us with a false sense of pride, it is  distasteful and out of place in the church! As I was processing my reactions to all of these comments and conversations I came across post after post concerned with why younger folk don’t come to, or struggle with church. The first one that challenged me was entitled “Why you can’t solve your churches young adult problem” , the first thing to take on board was a simple statement of fact;

 

“Churches are not perfect- nor should we ever think they will be- but as long as church people do mean things to people who are a little different, don’t be surprised when no young people want to come to your church.”

 

It should be obvious- and of course it is not only young people who will stay away, only today a friend said this;

 

“ I long for something interesting to ponder, something to challenge and inspire, something to give me hope and faith in the future here, something worth putting energy into fighting for - you know, a better world, a healthier environment, greater justice, fairer distribution of resources, world peace. I don't see the Church delivering any of that really, or offering people any great incentive to get on board enthusiastically with it. I don't even feel it's a particularly loving place, so why would I wish to be in it?”

 

Ouch, but she makes a good point, as does the writer of the first article, who continues by asking us some very pertinent questions;

 

“Do we really want young people in our churches? Or do we really mean we want to preserve our values in a younger generation of prototypical images of ourselves? And are we willing to make the gospel compelling enough by trying to actually live it?”

 

If you want young people in your church, go to where they are. Learn what they do. Strike up a relationship and trust the Holy Spirit enough to let you know when it’s time to invite them to church. In the meantime make sure your church is a place that worries about doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with God (Micah 6:8). …”

 

Make sure your church worries about doing justice, loving kindness and walking humbly with God NOT about how people are dressed and whether they “behave” according to our standards. Surely we should be helping people to connect with God by offering an open door a welcome and a place to be, an environment where questions and confusions are heard and answered gently... Which brings me to the second article “Releasing the generations”, written by Bishop Graham Cray. He begins with this:

 

“The relationship between older and younger generations in the Church is complex. Older people can hang on to leadership too long, while younger people (if they stay) get frustrated. Well-intentioned, but often token, appointments of young people are made to church bodies whose meetings can frustrate - or bore the life out of - those same young people. Yet there are also older people looking for someone younger to take on roles they have filled for years – and they can’t find anyone to take their place. The problem is essentially one of power: who has a say and who does not. The issue is also vocational: is each generation respected and released to obey God’s call and trusted to trust God’s promises?”

 

The issue is essentially one of power he says, I wonder if it is also one of fear, fear of what might happen, what might change if we were to let go. In their book “The Human Face of Church” Sarah Savage and Eolene Boyd-McMillan refer to sociologist Max Weber’s observations which point to a cyclical process amongst religious movements;

 

“Weber argued that any great vision require a human process to carry it through time, sometimes in the form of “a man, a mission, a movement, or a monument”. Even with the Body of Christ, the life giving charism has to be embodied in a routine – in some form of human organisation. Yet, life giving visions do not fit easily into neat boxes. So the very process that gives the vision continuing life also begins to kill it. When the maintenance of the institution (which protects the charism) becomes the institutions primary purpose, the death of the charism is on the horizon. Only spiritual revival or reform will re-ignite the gift.” (Savage and Boyd-McMillan 2007. p4)

 

A church that is willing to let go and pass on the power, that is willing to be re-invented for every age is a church that will grow, it’s risky certainly, but the risk of not daring to do so is surely more costly for it will result in our ultimate demise, a picture we see all too often! Cray continues;

 

It is not the calling of young people to preserve or continue the church as it is but to engage in God’s mission in a way which will inevitably shape the Church of tomorrow. If we are to engage with the UK as a mission field with its sheer scale and diverse complexity, we need the missionary gifts of young people today - not just tomorrow.

 

So we need to consider our ways, how we share leadership and power, and dare to risk  leaving behind what we have to travel to a new future, but of course there is more, for what is Church without God. Let me take you back to our baptism service, during the intercessions which took the form of a power-point display set to music I offered people a chance to respond to God by offering a blessing for those that wanted one, a couple of church members responded, but then something powerful began to happen as a number of the baptism party began to come forward, some of them were in tears, the Spirit was moving, and I too began to weep. I believe that THERE IS A HUNGER FOR GOD planted within us, and that hunger was stirred as folk came forward, they hadn’t expected it, they hadn’t looked for it, but equally they could not resist it. That leads me to a third article by Shane Raynor entitled “When Christianity gets boring” and while I don’t agree with the thrust of his article that young people stay away because church is boring I do find truth in this:

 

“Christians have spent a lot of time figuring out how to get people to church, but we haven’t always done a lot to establish them in the faith once they’re there. That's partly because we’ve largely reduced faith to activities and programs or to creeds and doctrinal statements. And many of us are chasing a Christianity that’s a figment of our imaginations. We’re looking for the faith of the church fathers, the faith of Luther, of Calvin, of Wesley... sadly some of us would actually settle for a Christianity that’s a snapshot from somewhere in time rather than explore the infinite God of the now!”

 

…sadly some of us would actually settle for a Christianity that’s a snapshot from somewhere in time rather than explore the infinite God of the now! I want to cry out- surely this is not true, but sadly deep in my heart I know that it often is! We look for methods and fixes, for programmes and solutions, and fail to seek God, the author and perfector of our faith, God who can do immeasurably more in us than we can begin to ask or imagine. Raynor exclaims;

 

“…since the power and presence and person of God are anything but boring, that tells me we have a disconnect between experiencing God and experiencing church. “

 

Another Facebook friend posted a comment from a young man who says this;

 

" I did a YouTube video the other week on the reason why church has made me contemplate leaving. I'm 31 and have only been a Christian for two years. The two main reasons for me, and it seems to be echoed by others around me are lack of discipleship (we are just left to get on with it, questions remain unaswered) and too much noise. Church tries to be 'trendy' loud music, bands, messy church. All great concepts but what myself and others want is hard, straight up answers to questions and silence. Church is not boring, its just failing to connect with what young people really need....God"

People NEED GOD, not just young people but people of all ages, sizes, colours and backgrounds, we were made for God, by God and NEED a real relationship with God who loves us more than we can possibly imagine. People need God, and the church is called to know, and nurture that need, to call forth life by growing changing, and adapting, sharing the life that it has received allowing it to flow out into the desert places of this world causing the desert to bloom. Life should no be kept in a neat box, safely shielded from the realities of the world, if we do that with life it will die, and we will be lost….

 

Jesus says:

 

Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavours of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You've lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

 ^14-16"Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colours in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. (Matthew 5)

Maybe we need to remember;

 

“God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. “ (Ephesians 3)