You are an Eco-Avenger, also known as an environmentalist or tree hugger. You believe in saving the planet from the clutches of air-fouling, oil-drilling, earth-raping conservative fossil fools.
Take the quiz at www.FightConservatives.com
Lol- pretty accurate- hat tip to Steve Hayes.
GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there ? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
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ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers weeds and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
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GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
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ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
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GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast.
That must make the Suburbanites happy.
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ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.
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GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
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ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
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GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
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ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
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GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow.
And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
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ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.
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GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
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ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
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GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stoke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
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ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
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GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?
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ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
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ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
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GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
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ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about .....
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GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
Congratulations, you hoopy frood! The world is your pan galactic gargle blaster. Even when you think the Man is getting you down, you can rest assured that it is only the prelude to another favorable adventure.
| Link: The Hitchhiker's Guide Personality Test written by donquixotic on OkCupid |
So come on- who are you????
Cool a word challenge!
Below you will find five words. Tell us the first thing you think of on reading each one. Your response might be simply another word, or it might be a sentence, a poem or a story.
whirlwind
foundation
lightning
den
prey
(Yes, they're all from Job 38.)
Here goes:
Love swept in like a whirlwind,
throwing aside all of my arguments;
demolishing walls of doubt and fear…
.
It struck as a lightning bolt
Shaking the foundations of my being
Causing me to quake and tremble
.
Before love I could not
Stay hidden;
I fell prey to it…
.
I am held by loves power…
Once upon a time in a land far away,
a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry
and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "
That night,
as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine
and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself
I don't freakin... think so.
Thanks for this Feminist Moms!
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