Eternal Echoes

On being laid aside....

I have blogged about depression before, and I am somewhat frustrated but not entirely surprised to find the Black Dog nipping at my heels again! In fact he isn't nipping at my heels, he has decided to come and sit firmly on my lap, shove his nose into my face and settle down for a nap... Last Thursday when I found myself unable to answer the phone, I knew that the depression which I had been battling against for probably just over a year had decided that enough was enough and I had to stop. So I stopped. I stopped, went to my GP and agreed with his assessment that I needed to be signed off.

Over the last few months I have struggled with feelings of despair, over the last few days with feelings of guilt, surely I should be working, surely people need me.... I have had to pull myself up short and ask myself when I developed a Messiah complex. With that came another realisation, the realisation of the truth that I need to drop my defences and allow God and others to offer me love and care. It is so easy to make yourself into an impenetrable fortress, especially when you have been hurt, it is also easy to lob verbal missiles from within that fortress, and to some extent I have had to admit that I had sectioned a part of myself off and was operating on two levels, by the grace of God I was able to minister, but on a personal level life was taking a toll because instead of allowing the hurt to take its course I had tried to pull myself together, prove I was OK and carry on. In short instead of living fully from my true self, I had been living from my ego, and the ego is very defensive. Christ comes calling us beyond ourselves, calling us to allow the Holy Spirit to pray in and through us, calling us to be open to holy, divine love, to allow the God of Love to re-create us.

As I was pondering that I began to reflect upon the Parble of the Lost Son, as the story unfolds and he has lost all that he tried to build in the "foreign land", when his resources were depleted and his friends were gone, when he found himself hungry and alone we are told that "he came to himself", and it was at that point that he set his sights on home.

I am grateful that I know the end of that parable, that I know that the son was received with joy and celebration, restored to his father and his home, but my he had to grapple with his ego to get there, he had to see himself as he was and to return in humility, Pride would have kept him with the pigs, so he laid pride aside and headed for home. In some senses I feel that, that is what I am doing, I am putting down my pride, laying aside my mask of coping, and turning in humility to the God who loves me with a deeper, wider and higher love than I can possibly ask for or imagine.

I need this time off, I need to rest and reflect, I need to stop trying to fix things and allow myself to feel the hurst and to grieve the losses of the last few years. I am brought back then to the Methodist Covenant prayer, a part of my tradition that is both powerful and challenging, but in it I find a comfort, that wherever I am God IS with me.

I am no longer my own, but yours                                                                                                                                   Put me to what you will,
rank me with whom you will;
put me to doing,
put me to suffering;
let me be employed for you,
or laid aside for you,
exalted for you,
or brought low for you;
let me be full,
let me be empty,
let me have all things,
let me have nothing:
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things
to your pleasure and disposal.
And now, glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
you are mine and I am yours. So be it.
And the covenant now made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven.'

 

I am laid aside for now, but I am God's beloved, and as a friend reminded me recently, he delights in me, and all will be well.

 

a silent longing...

Not for the first time in recent years I have found myself loosing the will to live when it comes to choosing hymns and songs for worship. It has nothing to do with the age of the material available, nothing to do with the musicians, nothing to do with the setting really, but a lot to do with me and how I  find I relate to God.

I find deep within myself a silent longing, a longing so deep that it moves beyond words and cannot call a 5 hymn prayer sandwich, even with creativity, deep worship and while I lead this type of worship service every week and strive to make it meaningful for all concerned, and I know from feedback that this does happen,  I yearn for something more.

I am hungry for God, not a concept or an idea, or a set of how to rules for living, but for the living God who has made and formed me, the God who knows me inside out and loves me anyway. There are times when I simpy want to say to the gathered congregation " let's go climb a mountain and sit and wait, let's watch the sun move across the sky, let's breathe the air, let's simply be."

Or let's share a meal and chew over this Bible passage, let's mine it for treasures together...

...let's watch a fim... let's ponder a painting, a poem, a place, let's look for God together...

I also yearn for silence, both solitary and corporate, a place where I can let the clamour of even my voice(s) fall away and find the still small voice in the depth of my soul and beyond the edges of the universe.

I think this longing comes from a number of needs within me, first a need to connect my life, my real life with the God I worship, to find that God in the mundane everydayness of stuff, in the joys and sorrows, in the frustrations and celebrations, in the big and the small things. 

It also comes from a real engagement with the gritty stuff of life where there are no easy balck and white answers, where struggle is an everyday experience for the people I love and serve and so becomes an everyday experience for me. When we close the church doors on a cold December evening and say goodbye to folk we know ill be sleeping rough religious platitudes are not merely empty they are insulting. Sometimes we find God more easily through our tears and groaning than our praises. When there are no easy answers, where the rubber hits the road I need to dig deep or I will loose my faith entirely.

I find that I am finding God more these days in poetry and art, in creation in films, music ( not hymns), novels, and more. I see God at work in and through others and am often humbled by what I see and encounter...

... and more than anything I want to escape "I", this post is full of I's and ( here comes another one) I want it to be more about God than me; that is my silent longing! I guess it isn't silent anymore.

 

The flow of grace and forgiveness... sermon blogging ( Matthew 18: 21-35)

Is there anyone here who has never been hurt?

Anyone who has never felt wronged ?

Anyone who has not grappled with a sense that the world is not fair, that wrongs need righting, that justice must be done, that somehow something must be done to set things right?

Peter's question  is in reality our question...

How many times should I forgive?

I need you to put a number on it God, I need to know that you see the hurts and pains that I put up with, to know that you are on my side....

Tell me then, tell me please, how many times should I forgive? Seven times? Would that be OK?

How many of us have never hurt another person?

How many have never done anything wrong?

How many have grappled with the way that the world ( our friends, parents, spouses, siblings, the law, the church) has judged us and found us wanting?

How many times do we stand in need of forgiveness?

"I forgive you", three small words, perhaps three of the most powerful words we can ever hear or offer, certainly they are some of the most freeing. We know that forgiveness is good for us, it affects our physical and mental wellbeing and has an impact on the world around us, on our families, our communities and ultimately our world.

There are many, many tales of forgiveness, when the power of a chosen act, to forgive has affected more than just the ones offering and receiving forgiveness. On the 8th November 1978 in a Remembrance day parade in Enniskellin, Northern Ireland a bomb went off, Gordon Wilson and his daughter Marie were caught in the explosion, trapped in the rubble together they talked as her life ebbed away. His response caught the headlines and has sent out ripples ever since. His words were simple:

"I will bear no grudge, I will bear no ill will", he continued campaigning for peace but sadly died thinking his efforts had achieved little, perhaps he was unaware of the profound and inspiring effect that they had on many, but there was more, his continued and chosen attitude of forgiveness had had a profound effect on those he met. a senior member of Sinn Fein shared his thoughts on the peace process with Rev Harold Good  ( former Methodist President who officiated at  Mr Wilson's funeral) that Mr Wilson's words and actions were " an important contribution to bringing us to where we are now".

Following his release Nelson Mandela famously stated " As I walked out of the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom I knew that if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I' still be in prison."

But then highlighting the complex nature of forgiveness he also spoke of how hard his own personal relationships could be when forgiveness was called for, he could forgive his former jailers, but to forgive his ex-wife was more challenging.

How many times should we forgive? When we are faced with the need to forgive, or our own need for forgiveness we are also faced with a barrage of feelings and thoughts, our fight or flight mechanism kicks in.

I would also suggest that sometimes our religious selves can be our own worst enemies as we try to smooth things over and make them right without really dealing with the issue, the result is a rumbling cancerous pile of resentment and anger that will either poison us slowly or explode unexpectedly.

How hard forgiveness is...

How often should we forgive? Jesus response to Peter was the impossible 70 times 7, an impossible number, not calling for Peter to keep a tally but rather showing the ongoing nature of the act of forgiveness, and typically Jesus uses a parable to illustrate his point.

A slave is forgiven a huge debt, an impossible debt to repay; the king has had compassion upon him, has heard his plea for mercy and has responded. 

The slave, unburdened of his debt, set free from his obligation promptly displays an astonishing lack of grace by demanding payment from a fellow slave for a far, far smaller amount...

We shake our heads in disbelief!

But where are we in the story, where do we who say we have been set right with God stand?

Do we know and feel ourselves to be forgiven? Are we set free?

What on earth was going on in the first slaves head as he demanded payment from his fellow slave?

I want to take you to another room, to the house of Simon the Pharisee, to see Jesus sat at the table. I want you to feel the shock as a woman, a known "sinner" enters the room, I want you to smell the scented oil of love that is poured over Jesus feet, now hear Jesus words:

"her sins—and they are many—are forgiven, for she loved me much; but one who is forgiven little, shows little love.”

Are we conscious of our need for forgiveness, are we conscious of the grace of God that flows and moves among us even now, offering healing, forgiveness, a real encounter with the depth of the love of a God who sees us as we are, who sees behind our Sunday best, and loves us anyway?

We are forgiven 70 times seven, set free from our burdens of doubt and fear, of despair even at ourselves by the one who created us and calls us good!

We are, but do we know it?

Jesus offers us a choice, the choice to live in a free and forgiving state, an opportunity to continue to receive the grace and love of God who draws alongside us even now asking us to take his wounded, nail scarred hand and to walk with him through our wounded lives into a wounded world, to practice forgiveness and to be channels of peace and grace. This is the path of healing; it might be long and hard, but there is life in it!

But we can choose not to know, to be unaware of the grace of Gods freeing love in our lives, to be those who demand and judge and exude a moral upright bitterness that closes us down and cuts the flow of freedom and life. We can choose this path, but it literally leads to a dead end.

The King and judge in Jesus parable turns over the first slave to be tormented and tortured, and this , Jesus parable ends with a stark point, is what my heavenly Father will do to you if you do not forgive your brother or sister from the heart...

Suddenly we have a harsh and unforgiving God, can this be true?

Who might our tormentors be? Is Jesus speaking about hell? I think it is more subtle than that, our bitterness if that is our choice becomes our tormentor, our anger eats us up, by refusing forgiveness we stop the flow of grace, by grappling with it, and that can be hard, we keep the channels open, by choosing to live a life in forgiveness we choose to live in freedom.

Among Jesus final words from the cross were the powerful words " Forgive them Father, they know not what they do..."

I leave you with one question, can we draw on the love of Christ so deep that even nailed to a cross he reveals to us the God of love who forgives his accusers and tormentors?

It is not an easy road, but it is the road to life...

Waves of grace ( from a tryptich) Images mine

compelled by love ( all this for you)

Before I start I will state that while I am a Methodist Minister ( Presbyter) the views in this blog post are my own views and while I hope that they will in some way reflect the views and mission of the Methodist Church, they remain simply my views.

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I am responding to Quentin Lett's Radio 4's Programme "What's the point of...?" broadcast this morning at 9am, and to be broadcast again this evening at 9:30pm. Today he was asking "What's the point of Methodism?"

I am not going to  enter into a long critique of the programme which raised some interesting points about our history and origins, and spoke of both scriptural holiness and social justice in a positive way. I am not even going to touch the possible ensuing conversation about whether we should of shouldn't join with the Church of England, but rather I want to speak of what I felt was missing because it is because of what I felt was missing that I find myself in the Methodist Church today often slipping on my "dog-collar" and wondering " how did that happen...!"

I know the answer to my own often voiced rhetorical question, it happened because of the love and grace of God, it happened because I found in Methodism a way to Christ that I had not found elsewhere, and it is the love and grace that I find rooted in the Arminian theology of Prevenient Grace that has set me free to stand in a place where I can begin to say that I am here because Christs love compells me.

Let me say now that I am a "convert," I do not have a history of Sunday School or a good solid Methodist upbringing or a good solid anything upbringing for that matter, I came to faith by discovering the power of prayer at a difficult time in the life of my then young family. Through prayer I discovered a God who was very real and very present, but my journey into faith was not so easy; I struggled with the sense that I was not acceptable and tried to obey all sorts of rules to make myself acceptable. For some reason I could not accept that God loved me for me.  The more I tried to make myself acceptable the more I invented God as a monster in my own eyes failing to see the true revelation of his love in the person of Jesus. It was only when I began working for the Methodist Church as an outreach worker and was fortunate enough to begin studying at the same time that another theological window, another way of thinking about God, and thinking about how God might think about me opened up.

What if the God that Jesus revealed really identified with the poor, reached out to the oucast, healed the untouchable, and included the unclean, the foreigner and the sinner; anyone who could that could be labled "other" by those trying to create an exclusive community? What if God loved us first and calls forth love from us? What if God is bigger and more inclusive than I could possibly imagine?

As I began to follow and worship this God, not the angry monster God I found that I could begin to love and accept myself, it was the revelation and the still unfolding revelation of this love that drew me into ministry, that drew me beyond my own small confines and boundaries to love " the other", discovering that they are not other at all but that we share a common humanity.

Some of the most powerful words in the Methodist Worship book ( for me) are written in the Baptism Liturgy, those words; "All this for you" are preceded by the declaration of God's revelation in the person of Jesus, including "for you he lived and showed Gods love".  

It is this revelation that set a flame burning within my heart, it is this revelation that stirs my soul, it is here that "God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who  we really are. ( Romans 8:16). Precious, beloved children of God, made in Gods own image. Surely if I am a precious, beloved child of God then so is my neighbour, and more challengingly the one I call "other" for any reason, in fact the other is who I am particularly called to love, for it was to the other that Jesus came! The truth then is that not only can I be drawn beyond my own boundaries, but to declare that there are none, there can be none! As a friend of mine says " there is nothing secular except for sin", and all sin is is that thing that seperates us from God. So with boundaries and barriers gone we can live out our theology, and all are ( now) welcome at the table!

All of this is hugely challenging for the Methodist Church, because as the Radio show revealed Methodism appears to be built on certain standards and values, traditionally calling people to sobriety and a morally upright way of life, to social action and to have a passion for justice, but what it missed is that the source of these lies in the move of God.  John Wesley's own journal contains the telling declaration ;

"I felt my heart strangely warmed. I felt I did trust in Christ, Christ alone, for salvation; and an assurance was given me that He had taken away my sins, even mine, and saved me from the law of sin and death.."

It was this assurance, this experience that compelled him, this experience, this assurance that compelled many of those who were touched by his preaching and the movement that followed Methodism is primarily born of the Spirit, an experienced encounter with God, and while this is not unique perhaps its expression in concern for the poor and a desire for social justice is a mark of that move and a particular gift. Yes we sing our theology, but there is a reason that the Methodist Hymnody is important, music made the message acessible and memorable and is well known to touch the heart and the spirit in ways that words alone cannot. Yes many Methodists are passionate about Social Justice and politics but these all have their roots in the move of the Spirit that Welsey experienced as his heart was strangley warmed.

Our problem? I want to suggest that it is the phenomena known as " convert and lift"- that is to say that as people took on the moral values and aspirations and possibilities of living differently that we lost our roots, Methodism became middle class and lost the Spirit. Oddly I came from a middle class background and the Spirit found me! That said I know many passionate and committed people called Methodist, people who serve, people who love, people who light up a room with the love of God that flows from them, people who are passionate not only for God but through God for their neighbours both local and global.

Will we die out? Not if we dare to follow the way of Christ and dare to give ourselves away, not if we allow the Spirit to inspire and equip and guide us, not if we fan into flame the gift within us and recognise afresh that we are a movement and not an institution. More than anything  we need a fresh fire to fill our hearts and that fire must be of God not of our own striving, and it must be a fire of grace, a desire to include rather than exclude, to accept the other, to include the other, to identify with the outcast, to become as Christ...

I leave you with a story from last night at our Drop in here in Blackpool " The Comfort Zone", one of our community members bounced in full of energy and love carrying a bunch of flowers, her gift to us for no particular reason, and expression of love and joy, she blessed us all. It was another members birthday, touched by his story we bought him a card and a cake, he was really pleased, but when it came to cutting and sharing his cake he refused, he wanted to take it home and to keep it for himself. At the end of the evening we gathered around the table to share in prayer and communion, and neither were excluded, such is the love and grace of God with us, and that should bring us all to our knees! Love is stronger than death....

All this for you!

Maybe what we need is a rebranding exercise, as the programme mentioned we were also once called Enthusiasts! A discipleship movement shaped for mission! Called to life in Christ, living out a calling to love, to justice, to holiness and compassion. Maybe what we need to rediscover is that flame that so set Wesleys' heart ablaze, the Spirit of God calling us to live out our inner experience in Spirit and in truth.

Let us take up the cross 
till we the crown obtain, 
and gladly reckon all things loss 
so we may Jesus gain.

Image: Canvas 1 of Waves of Grace - mine ( a comission for a church in Blackburn)

 

 

our chains are gone. our hearts set free....

Amazing grace,

the sweet sound 

of voices raised 

lifted this broken

vulnerable crowd,

and crept into the injured 

corners of our hearts

and soothed our souls

as a cleansing flood,

this group of truly wretched

wretches knew how to

sing the real raw words

with wonder and awe,

and God was with us,

 

a mystery beyond our comprehension

yet closer than our

breathing,

and God IS with us

for we left the table

filled with heavenly

joy

we had remembered,

and we were re-membered,

amazing love,

amazing grace...

Broken: Image mine

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How do you describe the indescribable, that is what I was trying to do with the poem above, trying to capture of something of the amazing experience of standing in a circle of those who know something of the heights and deths of what grace is.

We gathered together this evening as one, the folk who come to the Comfort Zone for food and friendship, and those of us who cherish the honour of being called friends. The Comfort Zone met as usual to provide food and clothes to those in need,  and as usual we who give receive more than we give, but when we gather at the table all differentiations are gone, we are one in Christ and the singing and prayers revealed that powerfully.

As we shared the bread and wine the desire to serve one another broke through any so called order and with the wine and bread blessed and the appropriate prayers said the sharing began. Once again we sand Amazing grace, our chains were gone, our hearts set free as heaven touched earth afresh, we left one another with hugs and prayer and and assurance that God truly is with us.

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Pondering new beginnings and carrying on....

Tomorrow is the first day of the Methodist year, all over the Connexion welcome services have been taking place as the great Methodist Minister moving season has settled down and new appointments have been taken up. For many the day will be a normal day and may  go unmarked, for others the dive into the diary full of new year meetings could well cause them to pause to take in a deep breath, the sentiment " here we go again" ringing in their ears...

I have just returned to work from a lovely 2 week break which included a friends wedding and Greenbelt Festival, both of which have given me cause to pause and reflect on the possibilities of new beginnings. Of course every day, every moment is a new beginning, but some days and some moments grant us the gift of marking them, of laying down a mile-stone, a way marker on our journey of discipleship and making a public choice.

Tomorrow I want to make that choice, I want to publically declare alongside others that I choose to choose God, that I choose to enter into the pathway of prayer and denial of self, that I choose to step away from my ego, to let go of what holds me and to surrender to the possiblities that being open to God bring to me.

Last Monday at Greenbelt Festival I asked a question in the session being lead by Rachel Mann regarding our struggle to be an inclusive Church in a culture that demands balck and white answers and absolutes that exclude others. This year I want to learn how to begin again to truly live that out. The encouragement I received was to keep on keeping on, but that can be tough when those around you want to draw lines and errect boundaries...

I will draw to a close with a quote from Pere Henri from the film version of Chocolat:

I'm not sure what the theme of my homily today ought to be. Do I want to speak of the miracle of Our Lord's divine transformation? Not really, no. I don't want to talk about His divinity. I'd rather talk about His humanity. I mean, you know, how He lived His life, here on Earth. His *kindness*, His *tolerance*... Listen, here's what I think. I think that we can't go around... measuring our goodness by what we don't do. By what we deny ourselves, what we resist, and who we exclude. I think... we've got to measure goodness by what we *embrace*, what we create... and who we include.

...

we've got to measure goodness by what we *embrace*, what we create... and who we include.

...

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me... ( Luke 9:23)

My prayer for the New Year is that I will be able to do just that, that in denying myself I might find the strength, creativity, and inclusivity of Christ. My prayer for the church is that we together will model Christs love in more open and powerful ways, that we won't get ourselves tied in knots over unimportant details such as whether people wear hats and what colour the carpet is! 

Consider the lillies Picture mine ( no longer available)

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The way of love, into suffering ( Sermon blogging Matthew 16: 21-28)

Have you noticed how so many good TV series leave you with a cliff-hanger ending to the episode, not the ones where it is obvious what will happen but those who leave you with a sense of anticipation because you really aren't sure what will happen next. Those where the unfurling story takes strange twists and turns and perhaps even when the beginning only makes sense right at the end, and even then there are questions. I am sure you can think of examples! 

Just pause for a moment and watch this story unfold, our story is coming to a crunch point and I want to take you back to last week's episode, to the cliff hanger ending of the Gospel reading, the ending that should have left you asking for more, and possibly left you with one big question; "Why not?"

Just in case you missed it Jesus has been quizzing his disciples, " who do people say I am?", and finally;

¹⁵He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” ¹⁶Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” ¹⁷And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven. ¹⁸And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it. ¹⁹I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” ²⁰Then he sternly ordered the disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah.

Wow, put yourself in Peter's shoes, he has got it right, this revelation is not from himself and his deductive thinking, but God himself has revealed to Peter the truth of who Jesus is, great things are about to happen....

Then Jesus sternly warned the disciples not to tell anyone... queue the music, credits roll; what Jesus? Why not Jesus? Surely this is good news, really good news, the long awaited Messiah, the Saviour of Israel, the one we've been waiting for has come and we are to say nothing, nothing at all?

So how about this weeks story, here are Peter and the others with the keys to the kingdom of heaven in their hearts and minds standing on the threshold of something new and wonderful, and Jesus begins to speak to them about suffering, the suffering and death that he has to undergo! Confusion reigns, this cannot be, why on earth would the Messiah have to suffer...

Once again Peter steps in as spokesman and is rounded upon by Jesus, "Get behind me Satan"!

What is going on? Lets pause for a moment and unpack that sentence on which this passage hinges, the meaning of the term of name Satan is actually opponent, so what is Jesus saying to and of Peter? Has Peter just become the devil incarnate, or is there something more subtle and more dangerous going on? Could it be that Peter's view of who the Messiah is and what he has come for is in direct opposition to God's ways?

Just think for a while on God's ways as revealed in Jesus...

How he left the glory of heaven and slipped into frail, vulnerable human flesh, born in obscurity and poverty...

How even as a babe he became a refugee, fleeing the slaughter of the innocents...

How he grew and learned a trade, grew and grew in understanding of God's ways, and then when the time was right submitted himself to baptism, struggled against the opponent within him in the desert and emerged to bring the good news of God's coming kingdom not into Temple in Jerusalem, the heart and seat of power of those who called themselves God's chosen people  but to the outcast, the lepper, the tax collector, the foreigner, the adulterer and the prostitute, to all who were pushed to the margins and rejected by society Jesus came, healing, accepting, teaching and releasing. Living out the message that all are welcome and none are excluded! 

Now he speaks of entering into necessary suffering, and while Peter does not understand it this too is good news, for he calls us to follow him! 

This is good news, for he calls us to follow him, to follow him against the will of our internal voices that call out for ease and comfort and a decent standard of living. Listen again to Jesus:

 If you want to follow Me, you must deny yourself the things you think you want. You must pick up your cross and follow Me.  The person who wants to save his life must lose it, and she who loses her life for Me will find it. Look, does it make sense to truly become successful, but then to hand over your very soul? What is your soul really worth?

Your soul of course is infinetly valuable, it tells you who you are body, mind and spirit in Christ, when we follow the way of Jesus we become hidden with Christ in God and our world expands beyond our limited wishes and desires. 

To leave ourselves behind means becoming more, it means having our hearts open to the other, to the outcasts, to the vulnerable, to any that we might formerly have called "other"!

Jesus is going to walk the road to Jerusalem and he will not be opposed, and he calls us to follow him, to break away the barriers, and tear down the walls in our minds that keep us sanitised and safe from the world. In a world where there is so much turmoil and pain this is good news, to the people of Gaza and Israel, of Syria and Iraq this is good news for in the eyes of Christ they are not other but infinetly precious and included. To the confused and traumatised people of Rotherham this is good news, for he sees their hurts, and in his woundedness brings healing through his body here on earth if we too dare to bear his wounds and cry out for justice. To the poor and marginalised in our town this is good news if we like him choose to satnd with them and open our eyes to the truth that we are one!

The Church is not called to maintain lovely buildings and hold Committee meetings ( though that often consumes our time), rather it is called as the people of God, the body of Christ to enter into his suffering, to take on his vulnerable flesh and to bear his wounds, to move beyond the barriers and boundaries of respectability and to put on Christ in love...

The choice is ours, are we those who will dare to follow, or do we prefer our own kingdom, our place of saftey, our will and ways? If that is our choice we might perhaps here Jesus challenge to us as Peter did, do not oppose me... "Get behind me Satan!" I hope we will choose the better path, the more daring and inclusive path, that we will choose to walk the way of the cross, to become those who in Christ turn the world upside down until it and we find ourselves the right way up at last! What a series ending that would be!!!

Out of the darkness light; Image mine

Entering the storm (prayer and the current world crisis)

I am sitting in the lovely sun room in the Manse in Blackpool looking out across my back garden, there are flowers blooming and a soft breeze is blowing, it would be easy to say all is well with the world, to bury my head in the sand ( not difficult here in Blackpool)  and to carry on with the mundane stuff of life. At the same time I am reading news pages, reading posts to Facebook and twitter expressing continued outrage at the atrocities happening elsewhere, posts calling for peace, calling for an end to the madness, calling for something to happen, someone to listen.

I have joined my voice to these voices, shared and re-shared news items, grown angry at the atrocities, appallled at the continued violence and destruction. The place names are repeated again and again, Israel, Gaza, Iraq, The Ukraine, Israel, Gaza.... Image follows image, children maimed, bloodied, and tormented faces fill our screens. There are arguements from each side too, arguements claiming absolute "right", arguements insisting that war, violence and slaughter is justified. Arguements that fail to see the the inhumanity they perpetuate upon fellow human beings.

How can the slaughter of children be right, how can the targetting of family homes be right, how can the beheadding of children, the hanging of fathers be right? Quite simply it cannot be and is not right, no matter what your religion, what your race or creed wholesale slaughter and destruction is wrong. 

As I ponder adding my voice to the voices crying out for peace again I am struck by the smallness of it, but I must not let this stop me, I must enter the storm of protest with an open heart and an open mind, I must be willing to speak up even if it seems that the winds are roaring so loudly that my voice is carried away. I must enter the storm because it is there that I find the open heart of God, the heart of a God who I am convinced weeps for the people he has made who are so intent on destroying one another, and I must be prepared to weep with him, and weeping will become my prayer. I have to challenge myself to see the humanity through the images  and feel the horror of the stories that come to me day by day, hour by hour.

What is it like for the medic who can do no more because there is no power and supplies have run out? How does she sustain the strength to sit with the dying child whose life in different circumstances could have been saved. 

What is it like to watch approaching soldiers knowing that your death is imminent unless you convert to a faith you do not hold? Can I place myself into the shoes of a mother seeing her children beheaded knowing that she faces rape and death herself, and there is nowhere to flee?

Of course I can't, but I can try, I can try to be open to the pain and the horror and to meet the Christ who met his disciples in the storm ( Matthew 14: 22-33), because it was Christ who sent them into it! I have a choice, I can bury my head in the sand, enjoy the flowers in my garden and generally ignore the suffering and horror, or I can dare to get into and maybe even out of the boat, dare to walk with Christ across the waves and allow my voice to join the many voices calling for peace until the storm is stilled.

Jesus compelled the disciples to enter the boat, and sent them out into the sea ( which represents chaos, darkness and evil), they laboured their pushing through the storm fearing for their lives almost all night before he came walking out towards them. He had been up upon a mountain praying, face to face with the Father before entering the storm, and I have a suspicion that that mountain top was not a place of idyllic calm and loveliness but once again a place where Jesus fought through the storms of his humanity to find the complete peace and strength of being at one with God. In that strength he walked across the waves and into the storm.

The storm is raging today, raging all around the world, raging in the Middle East with obvious violence and horror, raging in West as decisions are made over arms and aid, raging in the hearts of those who seek war, and those who seek peace. I believe we are called to enter into it, for if we ignore it we forget that we are a part of it anyway, so let us dare to enter, dare to step out, dare to speak up, dare to say once again, and then again, THAT THIS MUST STOP.

This is not about politics, race or creed, this is about people, real living, breathing, hurting, bleeding and dying people, and THIS MUST STOP!!!

Image "Storm" mine

Grace comes...

Grace comes,

unbidden,

Spirit moving

wild and free

calling us into

a recreative dance,

to leave behind the former things,

to follow lifes new flow,

to catch the heartbeat of  love,

to hear the truth of its rhythm...

+

Grace comes

unbidden,

Spirit moving

wild and free

calling us to follow

to step out and know the power of 

this new days invitation,

to breathe new air,

to grasp new vision,

to become more, not less than we have been...

+

Grace comes

unbidden,

Spirit moving

wild and free

calling us beyond our fears,

beyond our hesitations.

Grace comes,

God is with us,

and now

the hands that flung stars into space,

the hands that healed, and calmed and nurtured,

the hands that surrendered to wood and nail

are reaching out to you, to me...

+

Grace comes,

with just one question;

will you come and dance with me?

+

 

The thinking behind this poem/ meditation was a part of the process of creating a piece of art work for a church in Darwen, Lancashire, the idea of a move of grace is an interpretation of the community of the Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, that Christianity names God. It reminds us that God is somehow knowable and yet unknown, faith and walking in faith become in many ways a walk into mystery with a trusted friend, that friend is God, the God who knows us through and through for we are created in God's image.

God often calls people beyond their comfort zones, from Abraham right at the beginning of the Bible, to the Apostles at the end God issues invitations to the people he loves and leads them into some amazing if sometimes scary adventures.

Jesus himself called people to follow him all through his ministry, that call has rumbled on through history ever since. This is one of Jesus invitations:

“The Father has given me all these things to do and say. This is a unique Father-Son operation, coming out of Father and Son intimacies and knowledge. No one knows the Son the way the Father does, nor the Father the way the Son does. But I’m not keeping it to myself; I’m ready to go over it line by line with anyone willing to listen.

28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Matthew 11: 27-30

All this...

I have just posted some photos to Facebook, they are photos of our preparations for this evening when we meet together at North Shore Methodist Church in Blackpool. We will be celebrating Pentecost. We will meet to eat, share stories, talk, pray and worship together. Here are those pictures:

We love symbols, candles, water and oil will all be present this evening. The Icon and the rosaries are also important to us, to add to these we have prayer blankets and paper and pens will also be available for those wishing to write prayers or blessings and leave them in the basket. Interestingly we write more prayers for others and blessings are often prayed for friends and family. I say interestingly because when we meet as a community tonight I will be reminded once again how amazingly priviledged I am, many who I will meet with are struggling to make ends meet, many have been victims of government sanctions, some are desperate, and some are homeless. I will hear stories of the 20p Hilton ( read public toilets) and from a couple who are living in a tent, packing it up every morning and walking the streets of Blackpool with it until the pitch it again in the evening. Everything they own is contained in a suitcase.

This evening we will celebrate with cake, we will share bread and wine and prayers will be said, we know God's presence with us, last week we were overwhelmed by the love and power of God at work among us. We were made aware of a love that knows no barriers of gender, race or status, we are all loved, all valued, all important.

How can it be then that these are a good idea?

How can it be possible that a community might value others so little that they treat the other as vermin, a mere nuiscance to be disuaded from shelter?

How can it be possible in the 21st Century in a so called civilised country for us to have a definite "under-class", a forgotten, hidden ( we wish), marginalised group of people? How can this be? It makes me angry, and week by week as I meet with my friends I am driven to my knees in weeping for the plight of so many, and there are many, and for many it is a small thing that has pushed them over the edge into spiralling poverty. 

You can find the story behind the studs here, please read it and let it challenge you, the question it brings to us, "who is my neighbour?" is one that we sorely need to hear, and not I suspect only in this context. Yesterday at Church we welcomed a lovely family and their friends, a father and son were baptised, after the baptism and during a hymn I offered a blessing for any that might choose to receive on, we ran out of hymn as the queue of people coming forward grew, not just the baptism family but the regular congregation too, some of whom will gather with us this evening, all of whom were responding to the love of God.

There are times when I wonder how on earth I became caught up in the wonder of all that God is doing among us at North Shore, people are hungry for God, there are some who have church backgrounds and those who don't, people who have been hurt, confused and even ignored by church and some for whom it is all a new adventure. It is not helpful to categorise folk because " it risks turning people into ecclesiastical 'widgets' or commodities. Categorising or defining people in a way that allows them to be quantified is helpful for particular pieces of analysis but risks depersonalising human beings made in the image of God. It also feels very institutional"1 , and this move of God is not about the institution, not about the survival or otherwise of a particular church in a particular setting but about how people are being wooed by a God who loves them, in this we are simply his co-workers or channels, and I often find that my task is to stand around looking amazed and wonder what on earth will hapen next.

God is with us, this I do know, and as we gather to tell his story, the wonder of creation, incarnation , and spirit power become real in us, as we take and break bread we are nourished by him, as we pour and drink wine we are cleansed, as we bless one another with symbol of water and oil we are healed, and as we light candles our prayers ascend to heaven. We find ourselves enveloped by grace, none is excluded, no humanbeing made in the image of God should be marginalised, there is Good News for the poor, sight for the blind, healing and hope for the outcast, and freedom for the prisoners.

As I baptised baby Oscar and his Dad yesterday I used the wonderful words "All this for you", Jesus shows us clearly with outstretched bleeding hands "all this for all"

1. http://www.freshexpressions.org.uk/views/unchurched : Andrew Roberts