The first few paragraphs of this post are copied from Jemila Monroe's post from the Emerging Women blog, she raises some interesting and important points and questions:
"Miroslav Volf writes in Free of Charge that when the Spirit of Christ indwells us, God occupies the space, of "I," so that Christ lives in and through us; the cooperation and intimacy between our spirit and God's spirit becomes so intimate that there is in some ways no distinction.When we love, it is truly God loving through us. When we will God's will, it is also God willing through us.
What does this have to do with self-love? Simply that when we love ourselves, it is God loving us through us.
It isn't even controversial to talk about showing someone else the love of God, or letting God love someone through our presence, our actions, our listening, our acceptance. But somehow when we apply this exact same theology to self-love we feel a little worried. Is it self-indulgent? Selfish? Shouldn't we make ourselves feel guilty for our failures so we can improve? Is God loving us through loving ourselves too close to saying that we are God?
Or sin of all sins, Is self-love New-Agey?
If it's wrong to allow God to love us through our own spirit-filled self-love, then let's be consistent: It's plain wrong to let God love others through our love. Trying to let Christ shine through us to others is too close to self-worship.
Or does loving self in God's Spirit actually lead to the death of ego and the birth of a renewed life?"
I am greatly indebted to a friend who has consistently pointed out the command of Jesus to love others as we love ourselves- stating quite simply that it is impossible to love others unless we have a healthy and Godly love for ourselves!
"Mark 12:28-31 One of the religion scholars came up. Hearing the lively exchanges of question and answer and seeing how sharp Jesus was in his answers, he put in his question: "Which is most important of all the commandments?"
Jesus said, "The first in importance is, listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one; so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.' And here is the second: Love others as well as you love yourself.' There is no other commandment that ranks with these."
Note Jesus words- " there is no other commandment that ranks with these". Godly self love then is different to selfish self love- so how do begin to love ourselves without getting it wrong?
Many of us struggle with self-love, we see ourselves as unworthy, and as unlovable, we know ourselves well enough to be aware of our faults and flaws, and feel like failures. Shame can lead us to cover these faults with the fig leaves of human efforts, and yet inwardly we know that God sees right through them, we do not fool God nor do we fool ourselves, and we fear that others will see through our flimsy covering.
In his letter John writes; "Perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4 : 18)- dare we then drop our fig leaves before the God who loves us perfectly- to discover that there is no fear in love, that if we would only turn towards the one who loves us perfectly and stop trying to cover and defend ourselves, we would be swept into a loving embrace. Dare we discover ourselves engulfed in a love so deep and wide that we will never be able to find the edges of it?
To be loved in this way requires that we stop hiding from love, that we allow ourselves to become vulnerable, that we cease to believe the lies that only the rich and the beautiful or the extraordinarily talented are worthy of love. To be loved like this requires us to acknowledge that we are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made(Psalm 139), and that we can say with confidence that because God first loved us we too are able to receive and give love!
To truly love- perhaps one of the greatest pictures we have of this comes from Song of Songs- that book we shy away from because we daren't read the loosed sexual passions that confront us with power and purity!
"Song 8:7
Flood waters can't drown love,
torrents of rain can't put it out.
Love can't be bought, love can't be soldâ
it's not to be found in the marketplace."
I am not advocating a Christian orgy, rather I am suggesting there is something pure about love when we allow it to penetrate our souls. This God-given picture of human love in purity should encourage rather than dismay us. Song of Songs offers us a picture of the beloved discovering herself loved, and delighting in that love. In knowing herself loved, love was awakened and grew within....
True love recognises itself as being the beloved, true love awakens within us a desire to give. We must learn to love ourselves because Jesus commanded it- but first I suggest we must learn to accept the love of God, and through that love as we discover ourselves loved, and in that discovery as we allow the love of God to occupy the space of the selfish "I ", we will love others also.
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