Eternal Echoes

Grace comes...

Grace comes,

unbidden,

Spirit moving

wild and free

calling us into

a recreative dance,

to leave behind the former things,

to follow lifes new flow,

to catch the heartbeat of  love,

to hear the truth of its rhythm...

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Grace comes

unbidden,

Spirit moving

wild and free

calling us to follow

to step out and know the power of 

this new days invitation,

to breathe new air,

to grasp new vision,

to become more, not less than we have been...

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Grace comes

unbidden,

Spirit moving

wild and free

calling us beyond our fears,

beyond our hesitations.

Grace comes,

God is with us,

and now

the hands that flung stars into space,

the hands that healed, and calmed and nurtured,

the hands that surrendered to wood and nail

are reaching out to you, to me...

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Grace comes,

with just one question;

will you come and dance with me?

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The thinking behind this poem/ meditation was a part of the process of creating a piece of art work for a church in Darwen, Lancashire, the idea of a move of grace is an interpretation of the community of the Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, that Christianity names God. It reminds us that God is somehow knowable and yet unknown, faith and walking in faith become in many ways a walk into mystery with a trusted friend, that friend is God, the God who knows us through and through for we are created in God's image.

God often calls people beyond their comfort zones, from Abraham right at the beginning of the Bible, to the Apostles at the end God issues invitations to the people he loves and leads them into some amazing if sometimes scary adventures.

Jesus himself called people to follow him all through his ministry, that call has rumbled on through history ever since. This is one of Jesus invitations:

“The Father has given me all these things to do and say. This is a unique Father-Son operation, coming out of Father and Son intimacies and knowledge. No one knows the Son the way the Father does, nor the Father the way the Son does. But I’m not keeping it to myself; I’m ready to go over it line by line with anyone willing to listen.

28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Matthew 11: 27-30

all this...

All this for you,

all this, do you

see it?

This burning love,

this refining fire,

this passion for all things, 

for you.

This life giving grace

that will not

hold back,

and would not

from even nails, whips

a spear and a crown of throns.

Broken and bleeding

the heart beat of God,

hung for all to see...

All this, all this for you.

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All this for you,

mercy, forgiveness, flowing freely,

always spending yet never spent, 

a prodigal, unstoppable

unquenchable

torrent,

 a river of love and life, tumbling

down and down,

deep calling to deep.

All this, all this

for you...

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Pentecost Sermon...

Grace...

Free... ( Pondering The Woman at the Well John 4, and Isaiah 62; 1-5)

I could not face them, I just wanted to hide away with guilt and shame as my companions, Job's comforters really. I longed for change, but at the same time wanted time to stop; I wanted to disappear or die, and yet I wanted to live! So day by day I would put on a brave face, and when the town was quietest at mid-day I would make my way to the well.

I knew they gossipped about me, I was a figure of interest and speculation, what they could not know was that their words were far less damning than the words I spoke over myself. taking them in again and again like poison. My heart was broken and bruised, childless and loveless, hopes dashed over and over. They called me cursed as husband after husband abandoned me, divorced me, a woman with a closed womb was no woman at all.

To make my shame complete Simon the man I am now with will not marry me, though he takes me to his bed, so I am a harlot and a whore, and I want to die, yet I want to live.

So that day, as every day I took my water jat and made my way to the well, and there he was! A man, a Jew, just sat there, waiting for his friends to return, and in some myesterious way waiting for me. He asked for a cup of water, and it was from that simple request that the strangest, deepest conversation flowed, he knew me inside and out, and though he uncovered my shame and guilt he did not condemn me. At first I was confused but soon his words unlocked a hunger in me, a hunger for connection, for truth, and for life itself, unlocked a thirst in me for an aliveness of spirit so much more than a dull aching desire to survive.

Barriers were tumbling both inside and around me, he spoke of worship unconnected to place or status, free worship and an open way to God that sprang from the human heart, as if God were there already. His words were a cleansing stream of light and truth. There he was a man, a Jew, accepting and affirming me, a Samaritan woman, it was as if he had given me a new name, called me out into a spacious place, calling me, even me, worthy before God.

His friends were not so accepting though, I saw it in their faces when they returned with food, and I don't know why but I succumbed to my old fears, and all of my old names, unwanted, rejected, abandoned and cursed came over me like a flood, and I ran. I turned for home and ran, fears tumbling around in my head, heart beating wildly, I was halfway home when I realised I had left my water jar behind, it was all too much, I sat on the hard, hot ground and began to weep bitter tears.

Then it happened, the tears themselves became a cleansing flood, from deep, deep within me living water just as he had spoken of began to flow, I had left the water jar and with it my old life, he had called my a new name, a  royal diadem in the hand of my God, accepted, worthy, honoured, loved. I had to get back to the town, had to face my critics and accusers.

" Come and see" I cried out running towards the gate, " Come and see a man who knew all about me, told me everything I ever did and did not condemn me! His words are words of life, could it be that the Messiah has come?"

They were shocked, I could see that, but they had to come, had to see for themselves, so they came to meet him, and were amazed at his words. He stayed among us, teaching and encouraging us. His words were like a river of love, and truth, life giving words of inclusion and acceptance. In Samaria, even in Samaria, rivers of living water began to flow, healing, cleansing, free. We have never been the same.

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beyond the them and us syndrome....

On worthiness...

fly...

what if I fall?

WHAT IF I FALL?

insistent, anxious,

fear-filled, piercing,

I hear the question again

and again,

standing as I do

on the edge

of a choice,

an invitation to life!

what if I fall?

WHAT IF...

But there is another voice,

softer, gentler,

calm and inviting,

flowing from deep within me,

yet somehow all around me,

filling all the gaps

another question arises

from the silence...

Darling, darling,

what if you fly?

 

transformed ( on loving ourselves)

...here it is

this bitter gall

that cries out for revenge,

and demands justice on

its own terms,

destructive and demanding

it turns me on myself

and has the power to consume

all of the good in me,

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...it screams with hurt,

howls with pain,

but I will NOT be destroyed

by it,

I will call it what it is,

a small quaking thing,

needing my compassion

not my denial or

my fear, so

I will hold it

'til it knows only love,

and we are both transformed.

Image; Waves of Grace ( mine)

This poem is deeply personal, some will know my story and others will not, I am not going to tell it here, but I am going to talk about one of the things I find hardest of all, that thing is accepting and loving myself. Over recent months it has become clear to me that the reason for this is that I do not deal well with negative emotions, I want to smooth things over and put things right, even hide from them rather than seeing them for what they are and allowing God into that space where a work of transformation can begin. 

I am beginning to learn something new, that negative emotions are OK and can be expressed and given over to good, that God works in the dark as well as the light and perhaps often at deeper levels in the dark. I am learning to have patience and compassion with myself and discovering that that compassion sets me free because I am telling the truth about myself.

This may of course seem plainly obvious to many, but I don't think we talk about anger very much in Christian circles, I think we tend to brush things under the carpet and try to ignore them, very often there is an eventual explosion, but again we hide from it because it is unacceptable, and surely we should "just be loving". Some of this discovery has come about from reading two books by Richard Rhor; Dancing Standing Still, and The Enneagram; A Christian Perspective. I hope to write more about both of these soon.

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Castles in the air....

Trying to keep something alive... (Peter, Peaches Geldof and Rev)...

never...

It is never over,

never finished,

never ended, never

consumed,

never satiated,

this desire to be

finally at one,

we cannot be overfed,

over-indulged,

over-filled,

for we live and move

and have

our being within the infinite,

eternal lover

of our souls, and nothing can separate

us from the depths,

height, breadth

of real love....

It is never over,

never finished,

never ended, never

consumed...

 

I hide ( a poem re-visited)

 

I hide from you

Because I make you in my image,

And because I know myself.

 

I hide because I see a caricature

Wrathful and vengeful.

 

Yet you do not come in wrath,

You are filled with love,

With true, deep love

And compassion.

 

You call me out of hiding

To rest in your arms,

And yet too often I ignore your call,

Seeing the caricature, listening to the

Noisy

Demanding voice

That

Drowns out

Your words of

Mercy,

Of grace,

Of love.

 

No wonder I find it hard

To truly live the Gospel...

 

Help me to hear, to see,

To respond to your love

Again....

and again....

Re- kindled 

picture mine.