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across the wild
seas of my life
you walk,
towards me,
confident, in control,
every step you take
leaves a footprint
of possibility
for me to follow,
to healing,
to peace,
to potential fulfilled,
+
wave walking,
sea taming Lord,
help me to look to you
beyond the
waves that threaten,
to hear your voice
above the winds
that howl,
help me to receive
your strength,
your provision,
your presence,
to know that
I am not alone...
You call my name
I answer,
I follow ,
I come aside,
I breathe
your peace,
+
your presence is near,
I breathe
your peace,
+
your presence is here,
I breathe
your peace
+
you quiet my soul,
I breathe
your peace,
+
away from the tumult,
I breathe
your peace
+
you still my mind,
I breathe
your peace
+
your peace is deep,
I breathe
your peace
+
you soothe my heart,
I breathe
your peace
+
I breathe, and I rest,
you breathe,
and your life
flows through mine
again
+
I breathe,
I rest,
your peace
is here
+
meagre offering
given, blessed,
shared,
released a miracle,
of plenty,
of bounty,
of surplus,
oh that
our hearts
and hands
might be
loosed
with such
daring,
that we might offer
all we have,
and in the giving
be
surprised
at the blessing...
Gathering her brokenness,
all of the things
she had been told
about herself,
the things she herself had said,
allowing them to hold her
no longer,
she
ventured out,
free now
of conventions walls,
vulnerable,
determined,
desperate,
she sought the one
in whom her
healing lay,
not to demand
just to touch...
+
trembling she reached out,
pushing past
her crowded thoughts,
her doubts and fears,
a wordless prayer
extended finger tips,
she brushed his robe
and knew her healing, and
resolved to slip away,
unnoticed...
+
but he had more to give,
and called her forward,
acknowledging her strength and faith
he named her clean,
whole and accepted,
she was herself
at last...
+
out in the desert
we cry out
looking for reminders,
for sign posts
to who we are
and whose we are,
lest we become lost
in the swirling storms and
the sands
of our doubts and fears,
and the silence,
+
then
peace, the peace that follows a storm,
waits with bated breath as
our crying stills
and our eyes adjust,
and we begin to see
at last,
these doubts,
these fears
are dust,
and we are carried by the lover
and creator
and author
of our being
silence falls
softly
and all is peace...
in the desert
I meet him,
far from the comfort
and securities
that cushion my
life, and cover
my soul rendering
it mute,
+
here in the desert
I am stripped
of defense and
pretense as his eyes
search my heart,
but even this
is a look of love
as he takes my hand
and asks
me
"what do you want?"
+
what do I want?
I find myself stumbling
over answers,
searching and seeking
for the one
that will
fit, be acceptable,
correct
+
gently he stops me,
"what do you want?"
he repeats,
and I am undone
as I fall to my knees
and pray
with groans
as the Spirit comes
giving voice
to my deepest prayer...
+
I have really been challenged by this post from Winn Collier, he challenges us to be real, to dare to be in touch with our deepest desires, and believes that by doing so we might just find ourselves a little closer to God. He tells the story of Bartimeaus, and the simple question that Jesus asks; "what do you want?" Bartimeaus cried out for mercy, he wanted and received his sight.
Collier says;
"Whenever I ask someone Jesus’ question: what do you want?, I often receive an anticipated litany that you’d find in any respectable Sunday School curriculum. The answers are fine, but they often possess all the verve of a dead fish. I want the real stuff, what makes the heart race and the energy peak and the sorrow sit heavy as lead.
Often, it would be more truthful if we said: I really want my wife to enjoy sex with me again or I want to stop puking in the toilet or I want money so I can fly the family to Italy for the summer or I want the voices to stop. These would all be closer to the truth. If it’s true that what we really want is to land on the Times bestseller list or to be kissed like mad, why don’t we say so?
Whenever we are able to locate that first layer of our wants and desires (no matter how healthy, noble or immature they might be), we’re scratching at the truth – and then we’ve got something to work with. If we follow that longing deeper and deeper, eventually we’ll find something more potent, something more profoundly true. I’m convinced we’ll find something that is very near to God."
He is right, we often hide our real desires behind a mask of what we believe are acceptable answers,
and we may well be so hidden from what we want that it takes us a while to unearth it, and when we do we might be shocked by the raw honesty and power of it.
I love the scene in the film Bruce Almighty where Carey's character is asked by God to pray, he begins by asking for things like world peace and the hungry to be fed then turns to Morgan Freeman who is cast as God and says "How was that! The answer surprises him; "Fine if you wanty to be Miss America" now what do you really want? The answer comes with raw honesty as he opens his heart before God and prays for his girlfriend Grace. The response from God; "Now that's a prayer!"
As we walk through the desert experience of Lent Jesus question might take on a new force, as we face our brokeness we might do well to ponder what we might want our wholeness might look like. Dare we dream, dare we ask for what we desire? Do we dare to sense deep in our heart that what we desire is God's best for us? What if there still seems a brokenness, dare we carry on shifting rubble until we find a place of peace, an in-tunness with God, a place where the Spirit resonates with our spirit and we know beyond a doubt that we are asking for the right thing.
Blind Bartimeaus asked to see, maybe this Lent that would be the greatest gift that we could ask for. Lord have mercy, help to to sift through this rubble, help me to see what I really want!
tread gently here,
and think
with care of
what you
hunger for, is there
awe in the longing,
is there space to
wonder,
to breathe deeply,
to be?
tread gently here,
for this is holy ground,
and you are made
for holiness,
for light and life, so
tread gently here
and softly,
that you might
hear earths
creative song
within your soul,
and wake as heaven's reply
runs deeply
all will be well,
all will be well....
Drive me deep
into the desert,
+
do not leave me,
+
expose to me the
hidden wonders
of my soul,
+
do not leave me,
+
meet me here,
and help me
to meet myself,
my true self,
vulnerable, frail,
fearfully and wonderfully made,
known and loved,
+
do not leave me,
+
propel me through
the desert,
+
do not leave me,
+
help me to know
and love myself,
to see the treasures
that you see
+
do not leave me
+
Must keep the show
On the road,
Must slap on the grease paint,
Must play to the crowd,
For the crowd must be happy,
Must, must keep the show
On the road.
+
Must keep the show
On the road.
Must cover my batterd
Bruised soul, cover them
With glitter and gold,
Must paint on the smile
The tickets are sold,
Must, must keep the show
On the road.
+
Must keep the show
On the road
No matter what the cost,
Must keep the show
On the road
No matter that I am lost.....
+
I am lost
And I can't keep
The show
On the road....
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