Out of the depths I cry to you O God,
show me my true nature,
my true name,
take me beyond the outer things,
below and beyond the surface,
beneath and above the excuses,
set me free to be myself,
my true self,
my God created self,
my loved and beloved self,
let me hear you calling me
to be, and to become...
out of the depths I cry,
I cry to you O God....
Over the last few weeks I have found myself lost in details, learning names and getting to know people, finding my way around, sorting out who meets when and where, and filling my diary with appointments many of which will become recurring and therefore almost second-nature. Through it all I have tried to listen, tried to take in as much as I can, and to be honest it has been exhausting. One of the reasons for this is that I am a big-picture person, I like to step back and look to the horizon, to scan for possibilities and opportunities.
Knowing that I am a big-picture person helps me to understand myself, and over the years it has helped me to come to appreciate others whose gift is found in the details, people who will ask questions that require precise answers, answers that need to be found, answers that folk like me skip over optimistically assuming that all will fall into place. Over the last few weeks I realise that I have frustrated one or two folk, wonderful details folk because in many ways although we are seeking the same objective we don't speak the same language.
I have come to really value details people, in fact I admire them in so many ways, but I am also aware that we need one another, and that we need to find creative and liberating ways of working together. This last week I have valued a couple of opportunities to stop, to reflect and to take in the view from a physical perspective, once in the Lake District, and again more locally walking on the beach, both of these reminded me that I also need time to step back and survey the spiritual scenery both within myself and with the churches that I am called to serve. When I take the time to do this the gift of the big picture becomes clearer and I am able to convey it to the details folk in a way that makes sense, not only that but I am able to then understand how the details fit it rather than drowning in them. I am thankful for a meeting with my Spiritual Director today as in many ways that helped me to clarify this for myself again; it's funny how you know something and yet need to be reminded!
