" I am the resurrection and the life says the Lord, those who believe in me even though they die will live, and everyone who lives and beieves in me will never die."
These are the opening words, powerful words of hope, that opened the last service I was to lead in my current appoinment. Those who are familiar with them will recognise that these are the words of hope spoken by a minister as they go before the coffin in a funeral service. Many folk I speak to speak of funerals as an ending, and of course they are, but in a sense they also mark a new beginning, a beginning that may have begun months before with a terminal diagnosis, or may have come suddenly and shockingly with a accident or other unexpected death, or many places in-between.
I like the funeral liturgy, because it does help to mark an ending, but I like more that offer, that possibility of a new beginning that it holds out. It speaks of eternity, it offers hope of something more and it hopefully brings comfort and strength to the bereaved ones who may find will inevitably find themselves, if only briefly, in a liminal space, a space between what was and what will be. As the service continues prayers are said and words are spoken that look back and forward, rememberances are shared, rejoiced over and sometimes lamented.
I am glad I could end my ministry here with these comforting and faith filled words, for although the lovely folk of Snaith and Selby Circuit gave me a meaningful and very generous send off I found I needed something else. I needed a good end, and that came partly because the lady whose funeral I led was a member who had become very frail, and whose death everyone acknowledged as a relief and release, and in some senses I identified with that, but also because the prayers of letting go, the commital and committment through which you place the person firmly into God's hands seemed very appropriate.
Now I am not saying that my ministry here had become frail and died, for that clearly was not the case, but it has come to an end, and like the deceased person in the funeral I will leave a legacy. Some will struggle to see me go, and some will probably breathe sighs of relief, and I will do both in return. I go leaving behind me many friends, we will still be friends. I go leaving sucesses, and things and folk who I pray will continue to flourish. I go leaving behind failures and things I wish I had left unsaid and undone, I have apologised for those I am aware of and place into God's hands those I am not aware of. I go both strong and in need of healing, I go and as I go I enter into that liminal space of not being for a few short weeks officially but probably more in reality as I seek to find my feet in a new place.
Knowing that I go in need of healing as well as with strength is key to moving forward, for it demands that I committ myself into Gods hands for my needs. As I move towards a new beginning I leave others to do the same, I leave them to welcome a new minister as I go to be welcomed as a new minister, and yet neither of us are "new". As I move I am reminded that every day holds out the hope of a new beginning, and that every day holds within it those moments of new possibility, moments when something becomes clear and repentance is required with a turning to or turning from being the appropriate response...
So I move on, beginning to let go of the past, preparing to take hold of the new, I go with a prayer in my heart;
I place into your hands Lord those things I can't do, all I have been through and all that I move to. I place into your hands my sucesses and failures, I place into your hands my hopes and dreams. Take me shape me, mould me and fill me, help me to be aware of your leading and guiding Spirit at work in my life. Bless me afresh that I might be a blessing, bless those I leave, and those I move to. Begin your resurrection work in me again. AMEN
, Bless the Lord Oh my soul... AMEN
