I have spent a lot of time recently visiting people who are seriously ill, at home, in hospital and in hospices. This of course ia a part of my work, giving pastoral care and support to the people and their families is something that I take very seriously and believe is very important. But in the back of my mind I find a question lurking, a question that sometimes insists on being heard and here it is: "Isn't the God I believe in a God of healing? It goes on: "Didn't Jesus say that we would do greater things than him?"
So why aren't the lame walking, the blind seeing, the deaf hearing and the dead being raised? Why are we so timid when it comes to healing, when it comes to trusting that the God who walked amongst us, walked on water and healed the sick might work through us today as he said he would?
Then we read that healing is a gift of the Spirit (1 Corinthians 12, amongst other places), we read of healing in Acts, hear of healing through the Letters, and healing is a part of the Old Testament story too. AND I have seen healing, healing as the result of laying on of hands and prayer. I have seen a swollen twisted ankle move and watched the swelling go down before my eyes when the people praying were on the end of the phone! I have watched courtesy of an "echo cardiograph" the patches on Chris's heart re-align themselves after he was anointed and prayed for. I have heard reliable friends tell of praying for a man with a broken leg, and how they heard the bones move and saw the leg heal- this was confirmed a day later by the hospital, and there are many more stories than these.
BUT then of course there are the dubious accounts, the things that put us off, the showman like T.V. Evangelists, people who shout and yell and make a big performance of healing meetings- something Jesus never did, in fact he was more likely to tell folk to keep quiet about it, to go and show themselves to the priests (I guess the hospital consultant would be today's equivalent!).
Of course we do believe in healing, we believe in emotional healing, and spiritual healing, healing that impacts our hearts, minds and souls, and of course this is valid, and it happens. We also say things like "death can be healing" which of course it can, and sometimes it can be helaing for the relatives as well as the patient...
BUT, when a family faces losing a young mother to cancer, a mother whose children, whose husband does not want her to go, a mother who would give anything for even a few more years, something stirs within me and I want to pary to the God who heals, the God who makes the broken whole in this life time...
So why is it that we are so shy of praying to and talking about the God who heals?
I do have one theory and that is simply this, we are in no position to say:
“Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. (Acts 3:6-7)
And I wonder to myself if our lack of faith and trust, and our timidity is tied up with or more accurately caught up in and choked by the weeds of doubt and fear, weeds that have grown up as we have trusted in ourselves and our silver and gold and NOT in God. I wonder if our focus on our buildings and traditions, whether we sing the right hymns and behave in the right ways rather than seeing the world on our doorstep through the eyes of a God who created and loves it is our problem...
Yesterday I knelt by a hospice bed, I held a hand and I wondered....
I want to have the courage to move beyond wondering to faith and prayer again.
