Eternal Echoes

Looking back to look forward...

...and so another year draws to a close;

I have moved house, taken up a new post, and lost my mum... but wait, those things have happened in the last part of 2009...

So what else has been going on, I have decided to take a look back at my posts for 2009, to try to pick out the significant ones:

In January along with others from around the world I awaited the inauguration of President Obama, and had this to say. Here is a taster:

"It is time to put away childish things, to take stock to consider our way of life, to think about not only the impact upon our own bank balances but upon our communities and even the environment. We need to become more "others" centred, to think both locally and globally, to seek to live in peace with our neighbours."

February, and a sermon on temptation for Lent! And a discussion about Liberation Theology that kicked off quite a debate!

March, and some frustrations, but every cloud has a silver lining (?). Also Jade Goody's choice to ask for baptism for her boys got me thinking.

A taster again:

"The Bible tells us that those who seek God will find him when they seek him with their whole heart ( Jeremiah 29: 13). I believe that Jade in her own way is reaching out to God for that assurance, she has been driven to it by love for her sons, and that love has become a window to a love much greater, the unconditional love of the God who created her and loves her beyond her wildest imagination."

Aprilbrought inspiration at the ROMBS (REACHING OUT IN MIND BODY AND SPIRIT CONFERENCE), you can read about it here, and here, and about the Jesus Deck here!

May, and the realisation that my studies were drawing to an end in Cambridge, and the time to move on was coming closer...

June, and what began as a personal musing on the Eucharist, turned into a lengthy discussion! Also in my mind I was clearly moving on!

July, where there were two weddings; here and here, an operation for Chris brought success at last!

August, brought the big move, but not before a holiday!

September:a mixed month of promises, and partings.

October, some thoughts on prayer.

November, and my musings turned to Thanksgiving..., and to Advent!

December; gave me a special experience, a lot of carol services; here is an uncomfortable message preached at one, and the return of an old problem...but hope is not lost!

 

There are times when I wonder how we got through all of this, but I know that it has only been possible by the grace of God. His peace is not a wordly peace, but something that runs much stronger and deeper! Because of his peace and his grace I can look back with thankfulness, and forward with hope!

 

Grace in action…

He placed himself

into our hands

becoming nothing,

and yet in him

the whole world,

no, the universe

hangs together…

 

He walked

dusty roads,

experienced skinned knees

and work

roughened palms,

he taught,

and led and fed

five thousand...

 

He drew crowds,

performed miracles,

brought sight

to the blind,

healing to the

broken-hearted,

all power was

within his grasp…

 

But he gave

himself up,

was brought lower

than the lowest

that we might be

raised

to be

with him…

 

He was spat on,

despised,

rejected

and brutalised,

smashed and splintered…

 

All this for you,

all this for me,

 

This is grace

in action..

 

…do we have eyes

to see it?

 

.

 

Seashore walk

DSCF4764
Originally uploaded by Sallys journey.

I mentioned in my last post that walking is good for me, so today Tim, Emma and I set off for Hornsea Beach in East Yorkshire where we spent 2 1/2 hours walking and then enjoyed Fish and Chips at Sullivans a well established family run restaurant.

The sun was shining as we walked, and the sound of the waves was music to my soul!

 

On the way home we stopped a few times to take photos, the landscape was stunning:

 

 

 

Recognising the signs....

I can't sleep, this is the third day when I haven't needed to be up that I am awake before 6:AM, and unable to get back to sleep. I have tried listening to music and tried warm milk, but neither of these things are helping; and yet I am tired...

So what is going on? I think the answer is simple, I am living on the edge of a bout of depression and I need to do something about it, so I will make an appointment to see my GP as soon as I can.

Why am I writing about this? To be honest I am writing in order to let myself know that I have spotted what is going on, and also because people tell me that I shouldn't do so. It is not a comfortable subject, and should be kept under control and out of sight, especially by someone who is just starting out as a minister, "people will think that you can't cope!"

I'll let you in on a little secret; I can't cope on my own, but through the grace of God and with the help of others I can. This is not about me being strong, it is about me accepting and owning my weaknesses and trusting God to help me, if I need a bit of rest and some medication for a while then so be it. Funny, if I'd broken a leg or suffered an appendicitis no-one would blink at my need for time to recover...

If I stop to think about it then I am hardly surprised that I need some time out; 

• we moved house in August to take up the post here in Yorkshire- moving is always stressful.
• we have taken a drop in income as Tim had been unable to find a job immediately ( an often hidden factor in Ministers moving, thankfully he begins a new post in January).
• my mum died unexpectedly at the end of September, and I think the shock is still surfacing.
• add to that some of life's annoyances such as a car finally wearing out on us, and other mad things like exploding washing machines...
• and then the sheer busyness of the Christmas period ( which I thoroughly enjoyed)

It really isn't surprising....

It is tempting to listen to the guilt driven places in my soul, the voices that tell me to pull myself together even when I know that I can't, the voices that tell me that if I can't do that then I should at least keep this under wraps...

For many people hiding depression is a way of life, they feel embarrassed, some say they have nothing to be depressed about; but that isn't how it works. For some of us our minds can only take so much pressure before a chemical imbalance is triggered, and just like a broken leg that imbalance needs care and treatment to bring it under control. It has nothing to do with personal weakness any more than a snapped bone does, in fact I would dare to say that it is a part of who I am. So later this morning I will make that appointment with my GP, and I will start to do some of the other things that help me, such as getting out for a good long walk everyday and listening to music; but perhaps the best thing that I can do is to be honest with myself and with God. I may be facing a tunnel, but there is always light at the end of it, I may be looking into a pit, but every pit has a bottom and there is a way up, and simply knowing that helps. My favourite Taize chat repeats the line:

"Within our darkest night you kindle a fire that never dies away, never dies away..."

Download 05 Within our darkest night

For me it is both a song of hope and a prayer, a sign that I can do all things through God who strengthens me especially as I am honest about my weaknesses and my need of his grace....

 

The Inn Keeper looks back

Nothing will ever be the same here, not since that night, a night I couldn't have dreamt of in a million dreams! They had seemed so ordinary, neither of them were much to look at; he was rough and ready, a carpenter by trade he said, and she could have been any young girl excepting her first child. She looked vulnerable, and uncomfortable, which is hardly surprising, she must have been in labour for hours before they arrived at my door.

 

I gave them the stable, it was all I had, and I tried to make them comfortable, bringing clean straw, and making sure the animals were corralled over in one corner; but now I can't help but wonder if I should have offered them my room, and I shudder to think what would have happened if I'd turned them away.

 

They say they are happy in the stable, and I have to say they seem to be content enough; they are also content to receive the steady stream of visitors who are coming to see the baby.

 

It all began with the Shepherds, they'd come running through the town at mid-night, shouting and laughing, talking about a sky full of angels and songs and glorious lights. They spoke excitedly of how they'd been told they would find a babe in a manger, of how they would know the way, and of how this baby was the promised one, the Messiah!

 

He didn't look very Messiah like! He was an ordinary baby, and yes he was born in an unusual place, but I'm guessing that he wasn't the first, and won't be the last to be born in humble surroundings. But there was something different , maybe it was the fact that the angel songs the shepherds were so excited about seemed to hang in the air, not audible, but tangible. Maybe it was the calm assurance and confidence with which this ordinary couple accepted visitors as if they'd been expecting them; or maybe it was the baby himself, ordinary as I said, but somehow extraordinary, I can't quite describe it.

 

What I do know is that nothing will be the same again, the stars seem to shine a little brighter in the sky, and the air seems clearer somehow, and even though nothing has changed, everything has changed. How can one so poor, so vulnerable, so ordinary bring about such change? I suspect that we will have to wait and see!

 

Towards Epiphany …

Has it passed then,

this once a year reminder

of a God who drew close?

 

And did it touch you,

that message of hope?

 

Or did it simply

pass you by, lost

in a mess

of lights

and coloured papers;

hunger for truth

sated by rich foods?

 

Has it passed,

or do you hear on the wind

the cry of a babe

who calls you

to worship,

and wonder?

 

Will you seek him,

beyond the lights,

beneath the trappings

and wrappings

that mask

his glory?

 

It has not passed,

it does not pass,

for this tale

of a God who drew close

is both timeless and eternal…

 

…and his star still shines

drawing and calling

the wise to follow…

 

 

Magi by He Qi

The Christ who comes today…( a message for Midnight Mass: Isaiah 9: 2-7 and Luke 2: 1-14)

 

We have gathered tonight to remember and to celebrate the first Christmas, to hear the story of the babe of Bethlehem, whose unlikely birth was foretold by the ancients, and surrounded by mystery and wonder.

 

And it is an awesome story, the story of a child promised by God, a child born of a virgin, overshadowed by the Holy Spirit, a child whose coming caused heavens angels to sing hosannas to humble shepherds. A child for whom a star shone in the East causing the Magi to consult their charts and to leave the comforts of home to seek him out…

 

But there is more to this story, than a tale of a babe swaddled in a manger, and an infant dandled on his mother's knee…

 

This is a story of hope, a story that has not finished yet, and I suspect that it is that hope that has drawn us together …

 

And we can be sure that hope will not disappoint us because the promises and prophecies point to so much more than a birth; they speak of the everlasting nature of the one who was named Jesus, whose name speaks of one who has come to save his people.

 

He is called Wonderful Counsellor: - this everlasting one who comes to save us comes with gentleness and wisdom….

 

He is called Mighty God- he is in nature both human- understanding our frailties, and divine, almighty and powerful, able to save us even from ourselves.

 

He is called Everlasting Father- he is the creator and perfector of our souls, and he challenges us to dare to trust them to him…

 

He is called Prince of Peace- , he comes to this world of darkness and despair, bringing light and hope; leading us away from conflict and bloodshed.

 

 

He comes to lead us in the ways of justice and righteousness; leading us away from injustice and harm

 

He comes to fill the hungry with good things, to comfort and strengthen those who long for a new way of being; leading us away from destructive life patterns

 

He comes to bring strength to the weary, and to lift the burden from the heavy laden…

 

He comes to turn our mourning into dancing…

 

 

He comes to us today, offering us the gift and promise of Christmas and that promise is this;

 

That God dwells amongst us and he is for us and not against us!

 

Christ is here now, moving amongst us by his Spirit, he comes in gentleness and power…

 

The question is will we receive him?

 

Will we allow him to be born into our hearts and lives afresh tonight?

 

Will we trust ourselves to the one who came to save us?

 

He is able;

 

For the babe of Bethlehem did not stay a babe, he grew and wonderful tales are told of how he brought sight to the blind and freedom to the captives…

 

And terrible tales are told of his death on a cross, where he died to overcome death in order that you and I can experience life in all its fullness….

 

And we can trust these tales for thousands upon thousands have given testimony to the power and truth that lies within them…

 

Tales of how he lives within them because he was raised from death to life, and wants to light that life within us;

 

So will you receive him?

 

Will you allow him to be born into your heart and life afresh tonight?

 

Will you take your place in the story of hope, the story that brings light to the world?

 

For as each one says yes, the hope grows louder, and the light grows stronger…

 

…and the darkness WILL NOT put it out!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snow on Christmas Eve…

Earlier this week the BBC reported that despite our romantic notions of Christmases past, snow is a rarity in the UK at Christmastime, and yet I am sitting in my study preparing for the days services watching the snow flakes fall thick and fast adding to the blanket that already covers my garden and the land beyond. I was enjoying the spectacle of Christmas snow when it occurred to me that for many this will simply make a hard life harder; I spoke to two people last week who had not been out because of the weather; and what of those who are forced to live out in these freezing conditions.

To me the snow is beautiful, but I cannot ignore her questions….

 

Quietly

she comes,

covering earth's

imperfections,

smoothing her furrows

and frowns in

a smooth white

blanket;

silencing

our

frenzy,

demanding our

respect.

 

Quietly,

she comes,

caressing

the broken places

with frozen

showers of love,

calling us beyond ourselves

to a world whose pain

cannot be

soothed

by a snowflake…

 

…silently

she questions us…

 

How will

we respond?

 

 

Perhaps Rufus the snowman, a bit of fun for some Edinburgh students poses the question better than I can...

Surviving Christmas, amongst family and friends....

My friend Mike posted this very helpful article  (by Phil Wyman) today via facebook, it is written for people who will face Christmas alone, and offers many helpful suggestions for making the season meaningful. For too many Christmas serves to highlight this issue, along with the problems of homelessness and deprivation of many kinds and we must not forget that.

It brings other stresses too:

Over the last few weeks I have written quite a bit about my need to engage with the season of advent, and the fact that I struggle with the pressures of the season, especially the consumerism and skewed celebration of it all. I have attempted to keep up a discipline of daily reading and meditation, not always successfully as my days have become steadily busier, and although this busyness has been God-focused through Carol Services I find myself craving solitude and time to rub two thoughts together.

The flip side to the loneliness problem at Christmas is the demand to be sociable and outgoing, Christmas is well documented as a season which places unusual stresses upon relationships, it is often a time when the cracks begin to show in apparently stable families and divorce lawyers expect a flurry of calls; it seems that Christmas not only highlights loneliness, it also highlights relationship overload. Now I know there are a number of factors surrounding this, not least the consumerist nature and pressure of the season, where finances are stretched to the limit and partners with different perspectives clash. For me though the main pressure is lack of space; like many who are either introverts or marginal extroverts the constant interaction with others is wearing and draining.

So for those who struggle with Christmas overload, rather than Christmas loneliness I have a few suggestions, and maybe not so strangely they are quite similar to those suggested in The Boston Examiner linked above!

1. Try to recapture the sense of what Christmas is all about. Take time to read the story, make yourself some space, light a candle and take in the wonder of it all. This could just as easily be done in company with others using prayers and silences as you deliberately quiet yourselves and draw away from the rush to engage with the wonder.

2. Get out for a walk everyday, preferably in daylight, again if going alone is impossible the simple act of getting out and gaining more space around you will work wonders!

3.Carve out some you time, maybe to take a long hot soak, hopefully most people won't want to join you in the bath!

4.Use the end/ beginning of the day to find some solitude, which depends on whether you are a morning or an evening person. Ten minutes of listening to music or meditation can be rejuvenating for the soul.

5.Relax, Christmas is not a show, too many arguments break out because of raised expectations...

6. In a quiet moment take a good look at your loved ones, remember what a precious gift they are and say a prayer for those whose loneliness will continue long after Christmas is over this year.

This Christmas Lord,

take a corner of my life

and steal in...

invade the busyness of my doing

with the quiet of your coming

 

This Christmas Lord

take a corner of my mind

and steal in..

illuminate the darkness of my thinking

with the brightness of your seeing.

 

This Christmas Lord

take a corner of my heart

and steal in...

infuse the coldness of my loving

with the warmth of your being.

 

This Christmas Lord

as at Bethlehem's stable

come and steal in...

take the unprepared places of my life

and make them fit for your dwelling.

(Pat Bennett-from;  Hay and Stardust)

 

…a power about him…

His conception

…questionable,

his birthing

rough and coarse,

his crib

a feed trough…

He was a refugee,

a poor man's child,

a tradesman…

 

…yet there

was a power

about him

that drew

many to their knees…

 

…one day,

out in the desert,

the tradesman

turned subversive,

he challenged the

religious fabric

that held his

world

together,

he was mocked

and vilified….

 

…yet there

was a power

about him

that drew

many to their knees…

 

..he touched

the unclean,

and broke the rules,

he had little respect

for authorities.

His followers,

fishermen

and outcasts,

his platform

a hillside…

 

…yet there

was a power

about him

that drew

many to their knees…

…his ended

as a criminal

stripped

whipped,

and crucified..

he died in agony

calling out

to the one

he called father…

and the sky darkened,

and the ground shook..

 

…there was a power about him,

 

 

….there is a power about him,

 

……and it calls us to our knees…