I've been doing a lot of speaking over the last few weeks, it seems that when you are about to leave a place that suddenly everyone wants to hear you! I don't mind though, it gives me the opportunity to say goodbye and thank you to folk. Today I spoke at the Sisterhood Rally in Downham Market; it was a beautiful afternoon.
Although the engagement had been in my diary for months I have to confess that I was unsure what to speak on, until God spoke very clearly to me this morning. Tell May's story. Now I hadn't forgotten May's story for even though we had only met only briefly May had a huge impact upon my life.
I met May In Lisburn, Northern Ireland whilst working with a team of folk on an evangelistic mission. I'd spent the morning going from door to door with a personal beliefs survey, and although quite often we find folk who are happy to talk about their beliefs that particular day nobody was interested. Early in the afternoon Pete ( the chap I'd been working with) and I decided to head back to the Cathedral where we were based, as we walked back through the shopping area a voice called out for us to wait.
May had spotted our sweatshirts with their distinctive logos and asked us who we were and what we were doing. We explained our presence in the city and May burst into tears. She wanted to know about a God of love, all of her life she'd been a Church goer, but all of her life she'd felt inadequate and unworthy.
May's mother had died when May was only 11, her father had been terrified that she would go wild, and without her mothers guidance might become promiscuous, and so he'd told her how bad she was, and how she needed to pray. When at the age of 12 she'd asked to be confirmed as a member of the Church of Ireland she was told no, now was not the time, she would have to wait until she was good enough. May was told no year after year until she gave up asking, she truly believed that she was bad and that God could not love her.
When we met May she was 82, she had spent 70 years worshiping a God whose love and approval she felt that she could never earn. Pete and I were shocked but not too surprised, although Mays story was extreme we could both understand what it felt like to be told that you are not good enough. As we listened to May and spoke of our own experiences, and then went on to talk with her about the God's love revealed in Christ we found ourselves caught up in a holy moment right there in Lisburn shopping centre. We offered to pray with May and she accepted and so we joined hands and prayed, May began to weep, and so did we.
May came to a meeting we were involved in that evening with a spring in her step and a smile on her face, she touched her chest just over her heart and told us that something inside had changed.
As I spoke today I was reminded that there is a little bit of May in each one of us, we all feel at times that we cannot approach God, we all feel inadequate and unworthy, and indeed we are, but that is not how he chooses to see us. He chooses instead to see us in Christ, and to lavish love and grace upon us. The tricky bit is opening up our hearts to accept that love.
I am grateful for the privilege of meeting May and being able to talk to and pray with her. A few months after our encounter she was confirmed as a member of the Church of Ireland and we corresponded until she died in her 90's.
May dared to allow herself to be embraced by God, today telling her story reminded me ( and others) of the need to do the same...
