Eternal Echoes

A new connexional year

We started the new Connexional year a day early here in the West Norfolk ( Methodist) Circuit today with a welcome service for two new ministers. The Chair of District Graham Thompson preached, reminding us as he did throughout the service of the ministry of the whole people of God. He also reminded us of our humanity, speaking from the parable of the wheat and the weeds.

I am entering my sixth year as Community worker in this Circuit, I am also aware that this is my last year here in West Norfolk as I will be stationed as a probationary minister in September 2009. As I reflect on the work and how I have seen God work in and through my life I am more convinced that it is who I am rather than what I do that effects those I minister to.

When I am open and honest with people they are more often than not open and honest with me. I guess that I am harking back to my earlier post on vulnerability here, though perhaps the emphasis should be more on more about integrity. Integrity needs to become a hallmark of the whole people of God, we need to learn to value one another and to encourage one another towards that life of integrity- perhaps revisiting the emphasis on holiness held by the early Methodists....

... a new year offers us a new start, but then so does every new day and new moment, perhaps that is the most helpful thing we can bear in mind as we step into a new year, for the God of grace is with us, always willing to encourage, inspire and to forgive.

Late evening sail

 

Jesus be the center
Be my source be my light Jesus
Jesus be the center
Be my song Jesus

Be the fire in my heart
Be the wind in my sails
Be the reason that I live

Jesus Jesus
Jesus be my vision
Be my help
Be my guide Jesus

 

Just as I am.... reflections on transparency

But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

(2 Corinthians 3 16-18)

I have spent a bit of time cruising around the blogosphere this morning to find a couple of people thinking along the same lines as me. First John Smulo has a couple of posts on transparency, as does Lainie Peterson. Both of them rightly point out that transparency has to be appropriate, and being completely open to everyone is probably not the right way to go, but they both identify the need for transparent living.

Now it will come as no real surprise to anyone that transparency is something I value highly. I try to be as open with others about my own faith struggles as I am with God, to begin with this seemed a risky step. The risk was worth it, so many people have told me how they have been enabled in their questioning because I have dared to mention that I have questions. Others have spoken of feeling more comfortable in being open about their feelings, getting mad with God is an option, sometimes the greatest comfort comes when we are able to be real with the lover of our souls.

Having said that I also believe that there are times and especially when others may be implicated/ involved, that full transparency is pastorally wrong, not just insensitive but WRONG!  Lainie correctly identifies that there are times when self aggrandizement masquerades as transparency; openness becomes a signpost to self, this is something we must guard against.

In the blogging world I write about struggles of faith, this is usually reflective and could probably almost never be described a systematic theology, but it is practical theology, and the process of writing it out often helps me to realise where God was/is.

In my pastoral work and in preaching I maintain roughly the same levels of transparency, with obvious care for confidentiality and the privacy of others.  I have made one or two mistakes in this area, but forgiveness has followed swift apologies and action to put things right, if anything this has made me not less transparent, but less forthcoming with facts and details, and there,there is a huge difference!

It is my family and friends who know me best; WYSIWYG (What you see is what you get) could be our family motto, and while it has led to a number of uncomfortable discussions at home it has meant that our teen have been able to be open with us, and even as young adults they often call home when they need to.

Transparency is not pretty, and can cause discomfort, but with obvious exceptions ( where it may endanger someone/ break confidentiality) I believe that it is worth it.

Just as I am, without one plea
But that thy blood was shed for me
And that thou bidd’st me come to thee
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am and waiting not
To rid my soul of one dark blot,
To thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fightings and fears within, without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind;
Sight, riches, healing of the mind,
Yea, all I need, in thee to find,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, thou wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
Because thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just a I am; thy love unknown
Has broken every barrier down;
Now to be thine, yea, thine alone,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Enough

Enough;

I have faith enough

for the next moment,

and fear enough

to cling to

the faith I have…

 

It is enough

to know

that you are there,

that you hear

and that you will

answer…

 

It is enough to rest

in the knowledge of your love,

knowing

my own vulnerability,

and having no answers

I can do nothing

else.

 

It is enough.

 

Labour Day Friday Five

 

Over at revgals Singing Owl says; Here in the USA we are celebrating the last fling of the good ol' summertime. It is Labor Day weekend, and families are camping, playing in the park, swimming, grilling hotdogs in the backyard, visiting amusement parks and zoos and historical sites and outdoor concerts and whatever else they can find to help them extend summer's sun and play just a little bit longer.

It is supposed to also be a celebration of the working man and woman, the backbone of the American economy, the "salt-of-the-earth neices and nephews of Uncle Sam. With apologies to those in other countries, this is a Friday Five about LABOR. All can play. Put down that hammer, that spoon, that rolling pin, that rake, that pen, that commentary, that lexicon, and let's have some fun.

1. Tell us about the worst job you ever had.

 

I worked as an admin assistant for Social Services, it was a worthwhile job, but a frustrating one. I hate filing and am not naturally organised, so although I was not badly treated it simply was not the job for me!!!

2. Tell us about the best job you ever had.

 

I have to say my current job as a Community Outreach Worker for the West Norfolk Methodist Circuit. I am responsible for creating my own work, and have enjoyed the sheer scope of the job. It involves teaching and preaching as well as making contact with community groups. I love Schools work and enjoy a good relationship with one of the schools particularly, they now come to church for many of the major festivals, and we enjoy supporting them too. I will miss this post when I am Stationed as a Probationary Minister next year, but am looking forward to moving on too.

3. Tell us what you would do if you could do absolutely anything (employment related) with no financial or other restrictions.

 

I would take a couple of years out to write.... I'd love to publish a book of reflections and poetry, but need the time to proof read and edit them.

4. Did you get a break from labor this summer? If so, what was it and if not, what are you gonna do about it?

 

Not really, but we are going to take a break once Jo, Jon and Chris have all gone back to University. A friend is loaning us a cottage by the sea, my idea of heaven!!!

5. What will change regarding your work as summer morphs into fall? Are you anticipating or dreading?

 

We have a new staff team, only 3 members of the 7 remain the same, new challenges and a time for fresh vision I hope!

Bonus question: For the gals who are mothers, do you have an interesting story about labor and delivery (LOL)? If you are a guy pal, not a mom, or you choose not to answer the above, is there a song, a book, a play, that says "workplace" to you?

 

I have twins! I will say no more.

 

In pursuit of joy, and in thankfulness...plus a request

Today has been a mixed day, I spent a while talking to a friend, and am very grateful that he simply listened and did not offer any solutions or advice. Like many other people I suspect that my greatest need was to be heard!

Today I also mustered up the energy to cut the three lawns that come with our Manse; I appreciate beautiful gardens, but hate gardening, I dislike it for various reasons, I suffer from hay-fever, I also know nothing about it and do not have either the time or patience to learn. That may all change one day, but I am not holding my breath on that one!!!

Lastly I had an appointment with my GP to review depression meds, we have spent the last few months weaning me off one type that quite simply weren't working. He has prescribed a medication from a different family of anti-depressants, I will wait to see what happens next. I would love to have some colour back in my life, everything seems joyless not hopeless, simply joyless .... I simply cannot remember having fun, or feeling even slightly excited about something, and that is not right. Lethargy tends to accompany me and so mustering the energy to mow the lawns was nothing short of a miracle, and I have to admit that they do look better for it.

About the only thing that breaks through my feeling of numbness is music, on Sunday the hymns lifted my spirits, and I find that by immersing myself in powerful music of any kind that I am transported out of myself and moved sometimes to joy and sometimes to tears, both seem healthy right now. So I have a request, can you name me a piece of music that lifts your spirits, and or transports you to another plane/place....? If so please leave a comment.

Love will find a way… (coming out of the evangelical closet 3)

If I have no love,

I become hollow

and brittle…

full of my own self importance;

puffed up by empty

words.

 

If I have no love,

I cannot hope to

understand you,

I stand no chance of knowing you;

and will end up poorer

as a result.

 

Forgive me friend

if in my zeal I hurt you,

and in my understanding

I am dull.

 

I need love,

to equip, empower and

compel me

 

Only love,

Only love…

Over the last few days I have kicked off a debate about the uniqueness of Christ, and many folk have joined in a good and helpful discussion… BUT I have to come back to the words of St Paul in 1 Corinthians 13. I need to hear these words not only when I am talking to people of other faiths, but also when I am conversing with my sisters and brothers in Christ. Love WILL find a way, and God is LOVE!

Coming out of the evangelical closet part 2...

It seems I have kicked off quite a discussion with my post following a week of looking at inter-faith issues at ERMC Summer School. I am pleased that so many folk have responded as I believe that this is an important subject because we definitelylive in a multi-faith culture. The comments I have received have been mixed, with some folk suggesting that the same God is worshiped by most/ all of the major religions.

I am open to persuasion on that, but not convinced, the main sticking point certainly with Islam would be the portrayal of the immutable God- completely unknowable, this unknowabilityis also present to a lesser extent in Judaism, for it is not right to speak God's name certainly for many Orthodox Jews. Could it be then that the God I have come to know and to dare to call Father is the same God that remains unknowable to the Muslim and the Jew, and is known in many forms in Hinduism? Having said that mutual concern for the poor, and for the ills of society in general do point to a significant overlap in revelation...

...but I keep coming back to the uniqueness of Christ; and this is something that our Muslim speaker at Summer School urged us to speak up for! I wonder why, could it be that he sees what we don't, that in failing to hang on to the central passion of our faith, the cross and the resurrection, that we somehow loose the spark that in the words of one of my favorite hymns "sets our souls ablaze"?

This apparent lack of spark, and of real conviction/ loss of passion is often endemic within Christian Communities who have lost their focus, where once the focus was on the love and grace of God we have come to worship it is too often upon keeping buildings open and flagging congregations together. I wonder if too often we focus our efforts on fund-raising rather than on prayer, and on survival rather than celebration. Too many of the smaller Chapels I work amongst have a them and us mode of thinking regarding themselves and the communities where they are called to be salt and light , with confidence so low I wonder how we can possibly speak up for the uniqueness of Christ.... but than I come back to the question, how can we not...

...perhaps the task of a minister in such situations is to re-introduce the God who loves us, and is able to do so much more than we can possibly ask or imagine. Perhaps the task is to encourage and to exhort, to pray and to fast, and to seek fresh vision... if so then I guess I must pray here am I Lord, send me!

Personal reflections on vulnerability....

My friend Mike's young daughter Jo has made me think. Mike writes about how she became upset today when she felt that someone had refused to pass the peace with her.

Yesterday at the concluding service to the ERMC Summer School I found myself too exhausted to pass the peace with many people. I think that there were a mixture of reasons for this, firstly simply that the last few weeks have left me exhausted, and also that I was struggling to integrate myself into this newly re-formed community. Because of the madness of Methodism I have to train for a year longer than my Anglican counterparts, this is my fourth year of training (part-time) and I missed my contemporaries much more than I had thought I would. Suddenly I was the outsider and it left me feeling quite vulnerable.

Jo obviously also felt vulnerable at being rejected, and although I was not rejected I wonder now if I made others feel that I had rejected them, I suspect that I didn't because I know that my fellow ERMC students, and the staff both at least try to understand and care for one another. Come to that I rarely find a church where this is not the case, but we must bear in mind that the Body of Christ is a vulnerable and fragile thing, we need to be aware of one another's potential fragility and vulnerability. Mike was always one of the first people to remind many of his fellow students of the need to love themselves, and so I guess that I would have to add that we need to be aware of our own vulnerability and fragility, and to treat ourselves kindly. I pray that I did not offend anyone yesterday, but just in case I did, I am sorry, it is just that I was feeling fragile....

...but life continues, and tomorrow I will enjoy the creativity of setting up a Soul Space event, the week will continue with a funeral and the usual meetings ; but God is with us, and always for us, so I take comfort in that.

Remembering…

Wine comes in

reds, and whites,

in hues of pink,

crimson, and gold…

 

Grown on foreign hillsides,

trodden by unknown feet,

created lovingly

for those who would savour its

warmth and beauty,

 

…or sometimes manufactured

in a speedy

mechanised process

for those who drink

to forget

rather than to remember….

 

Today we come ,

to share,

and wine

becomes for us

a symbol

of his sacrifice,

…help us Lord

to drink deeply

of your love

to savour your gift

in all of its beauty and pain

and to remember…

 

For

God so loved the world

so much

that he gave his

one and only son….