I have been sitting and listening to Martyn Joseph's song "Turn me tender again" , allowing the lyrics to sink in...
And the pledge and the vow is you'll find if you seek,
But what if I try and find nothing but bleak....
Turn me tender again, fold me into you,
Turn me tender again, and mold me to new,
Faith lost its promise and bruised me deep blue,
Turn me tender gain, through union with you....
.....allowing the questions I have in my heart, mind and soul to surface, and allowing the tears to flow. This community has suffered the loss of four young lives in the past few months, and the questions run deep; "Where is God in this?"....
This morning I have been seeking the God I preach, the God I follow and trust, the God I love... the God who loves me. I have been searching through the bleakness of pain and loss, and in that seeking I have found the God who weeps, the God who allows himself to be moved deeply by our grief and pain, and who comes close when we let him!
...I am pondering the fact that so often we try to explain or excuse God, and in doing so we turn her into a gross caricature of herself, brittle and uncaring... I am pondering the fact that like some of the early followers we demand signs and wonders, and feel that God has failed us if he does not deliver, or perhaps we have become so disheartened that we do not believe that God even cares any more, and certainly does not act to bring healing....
...and though I speak as one who has seen the wonder of physical healing, I have to admit that somehow the healing of the heart within us runs deeper, that being open to the God of love in times of grief and questioning brings us into a place where we more fully catch what is on God's heart.
The Scriptures I am preaching on this Sunday (Ezek 37 & John 11), both speak of a physical resurrection, but also of the depth and breadth of the love of God towards us... Jesus wept with his friends, he was deeply moved and disturbed in his spirit, by the death of his friend Lazarus... on this and other occasions his compassion stirred him deeply within and he responded to the request of his friends bringing life to the dead man...
...for all that I might want to bring life to the dead, I want more to be moved by compassion for the living...because if I truly believe in the resurrection hope, I believe in a heaven where there will be no more sickness sighing or pain, and that somehow through the cross Jesus has overcome the totality of pain that death holds over us, for there is more to life than this...
Ezekiel 37 tells the familiar story of a valley of dry bones prophesied into life, for whom real life is not made up of muscle and sinew, but comes through the breath of God. I wonder how often even those of us who claim to know this God shrink from his breath within us fearing the life that it would bring, not wanting to be stirred into a life of compassion, and choosing to be dry eyed amongst those who weep. Is the flesh and bone Body of Christ devoid of the breathe of life, or are we open to his touch, to her breath awakening us to wholeness, body, mind and spirit?
O God from whom we flee,
whose stillness is more terrible
than the earthquake, wind or fire,
speak to our loneliness,
and challenge our despair,
that in your very absence
we may recognise your voice
and wrapped in your presence
we may go forth to encounter the world,
in the name of Christ. Amen (Janet Morley; All desires known)
And the pledge and the vow is you'll find if you seek,
But what if I try and find nothing but bleak....
Turn me tender again, fold me into you,
Turn me tender again, and mold me to new,
Faith lost its promise and bruised me deep blue,
Turn me tender gain, through union with you....
Picture by Melanie Weidner
