Why is it so hard to follow Jesus commandment to love ourselves? If we loved our neighbours as we love ourselves sometime they would probably wonder what on earth they had done to offend us! I think this is possibly particularly the case for mothers who fall prey to endless cycles of guilt and so the spiral goes down.
Yesterday started well, we enjoyed time together as a family, ate lunch and went for a walk- but by the end of the evening it had deteriorated into a mutual insult match the as pressures of living at such close quarters with one another at such an intense time took their toll. This morning I think we were all rather ashamed of ourselves!
My problem is that I play the martyr, and build up resentments, and somehow choose to vent them at inappropriate moments! There are times when a little self-care towards myself, and an insistence that everyone chip in a little more with the housework etc ( doing the things that would really help, rather than the things they don't mind doing) should be the way to go- but again and again it isn't the way I choose.
Love yourself- I can hear Jesus words running through my mind- and then I look into the mirror and turn away, it is such a hard thing to do, to really do- to love myself does not mean to indulge my cravings or to throw myself into retail therapy- to love myself means to care for and nurture myself in body mind and soul. To get out for that walk, to meditate, to eat sensibly, to listen to that piece of music, to order my life in such a way that interruptions and crises are not the straw that breaks the camels back.
Perhaps the greatest tool in the self-care tool box is one little word; NO! NO, I cannot do that now, no I don't have any spare time, no I cannot afford that right now....NO, No, no....
Saying no with grace when we need to releases us to say yes with more commitment and energy and enthusiasm!
I don't normally make New Years resolutions, but I think that this year I will make to:
1. To learn to love myself in healthy ways!
2. To learn to say no with grace.
