Eternal Echoes

Charting a call to Methodist Ordained Ministry

I was not brought up in the church, Sunday School was not a feature of my childhood experience, and neither were the usual weddings/ baptisms/ funerals, this is because I spent my childhood in the Far East-removed from all but immediate family.

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My parents moved back to the UK when I was a teenager, I felt like a fish out of water, this was compounded by my parents divorce, and I started looking for somewhere to belong, and something to believe in. I opted for our local Anglican Church where I was made very welcome, I became a regular member, and looked for a different Church to attend each time I moved, even after I had married, it was important to me that my children were baptised and given the chance to learn the stories of this faith I was just beginning to discover.

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When Chris was diagnosed with a major heart condition in 1987 I learnt how to pray- it was a case of  God you must be there If you are real show me- to my surprise God did just that!

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I began through prayer to get to know this Triune God who had always seemed such an impossible mystery… (and in some ways still does seem so!) .

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Several moves (one to the USA) took me on a journey through a number of different denominations, Congregational, Baptist, Evangelical Free Church, and Episcopalian. I  joined the MethodistChurchwhen I began work as a Lay Worker.

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Here the call to Ordination began to crystallise- for a number of years I had been a member on Through Faith Missions teams as they were invited to different places around the country to conduct evangelistic missions- this is an ecumenical orgainsation based in the Anglican Church. Through TFM I explored a call to preach and later to teach. It was their SCE ( Society of Contemporary Evangelists) course that enabled me to consider applying for Lay Worker posts.

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I have found in the MethodistChurchthat the theology under girding the belief in the priesthood of all believers needs enabling if that is going to be owned by the church itself. There is an extent to which this can be accomplished by lay and diaconal ministry, but I believe often transformation comes about as folk receive both word and sacrament, and as I prayed and sought advice from other folk began to recognise that my call was to this enabling and equipping ministry. The fact that an Ordained Minister is simply one amongst the priesthood of all believers, set apart by calling, not by a hierarchical structure is also something I value, it recognises then that others also have unique callings to their work- places and amongst the community- and the whole of the fellowship is called to be actively involved in the work of God.

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I appreciate the ability of the Methodist Connexion to hold together a broad church; to me this reflects a willingness to live with uncomfortable questions   (and possibly criticisms). Grace towards one another required by this stance is a reflection of the grace with which God receives each of us – for me this broadness is enriching and positively challenging and speaks of a Church that sees itself on a pilgrimage, rather than a Church that has all the answers sewn up.

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For my Vocational Discernment Unit in the first year of my Foundation Training- I was privileged to have as companions a local Church Bible Study group- they asked difficult and thought provoking questions; especially when it came to pastoral concerns and Methodist identity! These questions helped to cement my commitment to the Methodism in all its diversity.

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This ability to live with questions is of great encouragement and benefit to me in my ministry amongst spiritual seekers including New Agers and Neo- Pagans, it enables me to engage constructively with them whilst accepting the need for grace and dialogue. This community is going to need the ministry of both word and sacrament if true transformation is to take place amongst them, and a fresh expression of church is to emerge.

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I would have said I became a Methodist by default- but having spent the last few years being privileged to study at a deeper level the theologies that hold the Methodist Connexion in tension ( including its famed pragmatism and subsequent reflection), I am more than pleased to call myself Methodist, and follow a call to Ordained Presbyteral Ministry.... but my hospital forms ( when and if I need them) will still read "Christian"!

Wordsworth eat your heart out....

Has to be seen to be believed: M.C Nuts here:hat tip ton Songbird!

Hopes and dreams... ( story for a school assembly)

We walked slowly and sadly away from Jerusalem; we were brokenhearted, there is no other way of describing how we felt...

All of our hopes dashed...

All of our dreams shattered...

And Jesus, our friend, and yet so much more than a friend gone.... dead, we'd never see him or hear his voice, or enjoy his company again...

We were heartbroken, there truly is no other way of describing it....

As we walked we talked in whispers... how can it be that our friend, the one who taught Gods word as if he knew God himself, our friend who turned water to wine, who fed 5,000 with 5 loaves and two fish, our friend who healed the sick, restored the sight of the blind, caused the paralysed man to walk- who even ( because we'd seen it ) raised people from death back to life again. How could he be gone.....

But it was true, and we knew as we walked along

All of our hopes dashed...

All of our dreams shattered ...

That we would never, ever see him again...

So we'd decided to go home, home to Emmaus, home to try to carry on living life as if we'd never known him, as if the strange events of the last few years were a crazy dream....

We walked and whispered together along that long, and dusty road.....

We were so sad.....

We'd almost fallen silent ( we had little more to say) lost in our own thoughts and grief, when the stranger joined us....

" I heard you talking" he said " tell me about this Jesus...."

Well we were amazed- where on earth had this man been, not to have heard of Jesus, not to have heard of the terrible events that lead to his horrible death.... surely he'd heard something! But he assured us he had not- and he wanted to hear the story of that terrible final week...

So we told him, of how the crowds had filled the streets crying out joyfully, welcoming Jesus as he rode into Jerusalem on a donkey- and we remembered how happy we'd been that day....

... We told him of how we'd gone into Jerusalem each day- and we remembered how Jesus teaching had become stranger and stranger- it was almost as if he knew what was going to happen!

We told him of the arrest, of the horrible trial, and finally of Jesus crucifixion- of his death, of our confusion, and decision to go home...

He'd listened quietly and thoughtfully as we walked and talked; then when we'd finished our story he started to speak...

He showed us how all of this had been foretold by the ancient prophets ( wise men and women who brought messages from God).... how somehow it was all a part of Gods plan...

... and although his words were strange, and more than a little confusing, we both began to feel the sadness lifting in our hearts, it was hard to explain... but just maybe our hopes were not completely dashed, our dreams were not so shattered...

His words were full of wisdom, and his voice was comforting, and we were surprised to find that our long and tiring journey had passed quickly, for it was nightfall, and we were entering the edge of Emmaus, we were home.

Well we couldn't let this stranger just walk away, so we invited him to stay, if only for a meal before he continued his journey...

He accepted, and soon we were sitting at the table together, because his words had been so compelling we invited him to say the blessing before the meal...

It was then that we saw, we really saw and understood who this was- He lifted the bread and gave thanks, and when he broke it we knew- this was no strange, this somehow was Jesus himself- he'd come back- he was alive....

We turned to our friend, to hug him, to rejoice with him, but he was gone.....

.... and so not even stopping to eat we ran, as fast as we could, back to Jerusalem, back to our brokenhearted friends... to tell them the amazing and wonderful good news...

.... it was a quick journey this time, and as we hammered on the door of their house late that night bursting with good news, I guess we shouldn't have been surprised that they too had seen Jesus.... we smiled and laughed and hugged one another....

Our hopes and dreams were restored..... If Jesus could overcome death where might this amazing adventure take us next....

It is easy to listen to " stories " like this and to think them nice fairytales- but the truth is that this story has been passed down from person to person over the past two thousand years- and people still talk about how Jesus has changed their lives, given them hope where they had lost all hope, and helped them to believe that their dreams might just come true...

 

Quoting their poets...

I have written three posts on the High Priestess recently- each one looking at a card from a different deck- I have written my interpretation of these cards in an effort to show that archetypal imagery is both open to interpretation, and also that it is nothing to be afraid of.... indeed if we are willing to risk engagement with it we might just find God speaking where we least expect it.

My hope is not to convert everyone to meditating on Tarot ( though some find it a useful tool) but to show how engaging with the culture around us can open up useful and meaningful dialogue.

My recent training session revealed to me what a narrow gospel many Christians accept- somehow we loose  or forget the importance of a theology of creation and therefore the prospect, and hope of re-creation for anything but humankind- this reductionist view often favours the penal substitution of atonement often at the cost of even looking at any other possibilities. We end up then with a God of judgement and wrath- a God who would apparently for love kill His only child, his son..... and for so many people this is too harsh and too difficult to grasp.

None of what I am writing is new- this debate has been raging over the last few years- but time and again it seems that we opt for the reductionist argument...in doing so we diminish ourselves, our message and worse still we place God in a box- the trouble is s/he keeps on breaking out and confusing us!!!

My prayer is that we as a church would lift our eyes to see the glory of God revealed- in creation, through our fellow human beings- and wonder of wonders through spiritualities and cultures not like our own- to those who are " other"....does this diminish the reality or centrality of the cross to my faith? No- I believe it dies not- for on the cross the earthly and heavenly realms are brought into intimate contact and union as the precious son of God pours out his life .... giving himself to bring them together.... this was a sacrifice of love- for the whole of creation- through the cross the earthly and heavenly realms are re-united- the veil is lifted- and wisdom and truth are made accessible to all who seek it wholeheartedly.

.... but the cross is broader than humanity- it reaches out, north and south- east and west, encompassing the whole of creation, that all might be redeemed....

... in that broader acknowledgement of salvation we may be able to see the sparks of light shielded by a narrower view, we may find ourselves able to engage with alternative spiritualities and different faiths on a positive level- acknowledging the light and seeking to see Christ in the midst- yes Jesus is unique, and yes decisions need to be made- but if we are open to quote from poets other than our own,l we might find ourselves in the role of tearer down of walls and breakers of strongholds! :-)- often of our own making!!!

The High Priestess- Tarot of Transformation- lifting the veil

The High Priestess in the Tarot of Transformation deck is different again from the other two- here we see a woman lifting a veil. Her surroundings are the heavens- no cave or temple - she is not strictly a contemplative, but is actively lifting the veil between the earthly and the heavenly realms, she is like the other two a seeker of wisdom.

As the veil is lifted the barrier between the earthly and the heavenly realms disappears, she stands at the cross roads facilitating a touching place ( a thin place) where the created order meets with the divine.

Her role is that of revealer of truth, in this she echoes the role of the Holy Spirit whose still small voice can be heard by those who would listen... The spiral of stars in her womb are an indication of fruitfulness, and a birthing of an inner truth... her call then is also to a place where deeper wisdom may be found- this may involve a letting go of " outer" activities to seek truth and wisdom and life... streams of living water flowing from within.

The High Priestess- Songs for the Journey Home- a call to "centredness"

Like the Rider Waite High Priestess the High Priestess from Songs for the Journey Home calls us to a place of prayer, contemplation and meditation.Despite these similarities she is quite unique and so brings a quite different perspective from the Rider Waite Deck, she challenges us in her own way.

Here we see a woman who has chosen to enter into a place of contemplation, she is seated in a meditative and relaxed posture- like the Rider Waite priestess she is waiting and willing to learn The fire in her mind , in her chest, and in her belly indicate  deep passion. She is  at one with her surroundings- the cave, and the tree roots serve to protect rather than to threaten her.

Her nakedness challenges women to celebrate their sexuality as something sacred- and men to acknowledge and rejoice in that fact. She challenges us to celebrate a holistic spirituality, to refrain from a dualistic body/ spirit split- to celebrate our createdness by being at one with the creator.

High tide

snett spring 032
Originally uploaded by Sallys journey.

After a long day but good days teaching for me,Tim and I headed to the beach this evening for a walk, a meal and some good wine. The tides are springs this week ( very high) the views were spectacular despite the dying light. I am relaxed and happy now....

... a good day doing what I know God has called and equipped me to do, followed by a good meal, good wine and good company.... I will sleep well!

High Priestess- Rider Waite; a call to prayer and meditation...

The High Priestess depicts a woman who is open to her spiritual potential, seated in a confident way she is at peace in the presence of the divine- open and waiting to learn. She is pictured seated withing the temple, and is adorned in priestly robes.

There is a great deal of rich symbolism on this card; we know she is the High Priestess because of her robes and her crown ( diadem), the crown is significant- she has been honoured by a coronation, but why? The answer lies within the other symbols; she is holding a partly opened scroll- the word Torah is written on it- this is the Jewish law , it is partly open to encourage us to move on to the Christian Scriptures, to receive the full picture the whole Bible must be opened and read...

The cross lays upon her heart- it is at the heart of the scroll also- (it is echoed in  the judgement card shows the cross as a symbol of healing bringing together the vertical - spiritual plane , and the horizontal earthly plane ). The moon appears- a slither of a new moon, reflecting the light of the scroll and the cross- these two are essential guides on the coronation journey.

The temple surroundings are also significant, the pillars represent the masculine - Boaz, and the feminine Jachin- the black and white represent the complexity of our inner being.

Jachin means God will establish, and Boaz means in the strength of.

Pomegranates and palm leaves which adorn the veil behind the priestess were used to celebrate a person of honour ( think for a moment about the palm leaves strewn before Jesus).

The priestess is revered for her dedication and openness to the cross and the scriptures, the temple magnificent as it is is secondary- people matter more than buildings.

(Adapted from "Beyond Prediction" -John Drane, Ross Clifford, & Philip Johnson)

How does she challenge me- she calls me to that peaceful state of waiting and openness,  to be open means having a willingness to look again at the scriptures, to be attentive to the God who inspired them acknowledging  the Holy Spirits promptings. Her call is a call to enter into a place of prayer and contemplation where I can learn and grow and gain wisdom for the journey. Her call is also to balance- she sits between the two pillars, accepting both female and male wisdom lifting neither above the other, yet she is not submissive; rather she is alert and open to guidance.

On another note it is essential not to rely upon the hand built structures such as the temple- these are temporary- true wisdom does not lie there, we will find it within as we listen to the still small voice of calm.

Making connections

I am travelling to Lincolnshire tomorrow for an all day teaching session with one of the Journey Into Wholeness groups.

Whilst we have become quite good at surface level in placing stalls into Mind Body Soul/ Spirit exhibition ( attractive stands, relevant literature etc) there is a deeper level of true engagement that many still shy away from. I am planning on challenging this in a number of ways- by asking them to assess statements, take part in role plays etc....

One visual element of the teaching will require an interaction with Tarot cards.... these little pieces of card are often enough to strike fear into the hearts of many Christians who believe that all tarot cards have been cursed with evil "spells"..... I was once told holding a pack of tarot cards was akin to holding a loaded gun..... ( interesting illustration). I hope to achieve two things- one is to help the group to deal with irrational fears- thereby making them more comfortable with being in the exhibition itself- and hopefully avoiding the difficulties of last year.

Tarot presents us with powerful archetypal imagery - Jung used the tarot as a therapeutic tool believing that their imagery could unlock and reveal things to his patients that words could not. Many, many tarot practitioners use tarot in this way, others use it for personal meditation, fortune telling although well publicised has given tarot reading a bad name!.

Tarot readers often describe themselves as storytellers, they use the imagery of the cards to unlock personal and imaginative stories. Tomorrow I am going to use the High Priestess card from three different decks in order to promote constructive and imaginative dialogue- asking where we can make connections and what we can learn from entering into such an exercise.

These are the cards:

                       

The first card is from the Rider Waite deck, the second from Songs for the Journey Home, and the third from The Tarot of Transformation. They are all very different, each one tells a different story, by connecting with the imagery we build bridges to dialogue. In the next three posts I will look at  with one of these cards hopefully showing that they are not dangerous but rather effective tools towards a deeper communication.

Friday 5 surprised by joy

Songbird reminds us that                     

Jesus said to them, "Children, you have no fish, have you?" They answered him, "No."
He said to them, "Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some." So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked, and jumped into the sea. (John 21:5-7)

Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning. (Psalm 30:5b)

This week I've been watching parents of the young people slain at Virgina Tech trying to make meaning out of the lives of their lost children, and each one seems to begin by focusing on something joyful about that child. It's a gift that most humans have brains wired to respond in that way. For some of us it can be harder to work our way out of dark places, but I believe joy remains the key. It is the spirit of resurrection.

She challenges us to name 5 surprising things, people or places that have brought healing or joy into our lives; what a wonderful challenge for a difficult week- it is so easy to concentrate upon the negative and to forget the positive....

1. This is a thing that reminds me of a person, the thing is a rose bush, the person is my still-born daughter Sarah. When we discovered that Sarah had died in my womb we were devastated- who wouldn't be- the days and a half between the diagnosis and being told I would have to give birth to her naturally were amongst the most difficult in my life... however God was so present in the room with us that evening- we had a wonderful Christian mid-wife who prayed with and for us, it was as if life had been breathed into a horrible situation, with a firm reminder that this was not the end. We would only ever hold Sarah once, but God would and does hold her for all eternity. After her funeral we purchased and planted a rose bush called "Breath of life", it is a climbing rose which produces the most beautiful salmon/ peach flowers. Every year when the first bud opens out I am reminded that we have an eternal hope which will not fade or die away and that there is more to life than what I can see touch or feel right now. It is a poignant reminder of the beauty and fragility of life- and every year that first bud brings with it both healing and joy.

2. No surprises here- the one place I find real healing is the beach- during the early days of depression at the beginning of this year the one place I could go to gain peace and healing was the beach. When I couldn't pray the rhythm of the waves prayed for me- and God came close in a tangible way, in the air and the sand and the light reflecting on the sea. The beach is my favourite place in the world- it brings joy and healing all year round- from watching storms roll in to calm summer evening sunsets..... it can be both terrible and wonderful at the same time.

3. Music- all kinds of music, from classical to folk, rock to gregorian chant- anything really! Real joy comes though in seeing my two girls perform- I know how much hard work they put in, hours and hours of practise have made them as good as they are. Emma is now teaching and playing with the Northumbria Orchestra, Joanne hopes to go to Sheffield in October to begin he Music degree. I am very proud of them.

4. The Eucharist- I almost never fail to be moved to deep emotion during the Eucharistic service, simply receiving the elements of bread and wine and the depth of meaning brought through these tangible and ordinary objects.... John Wesley saw the bread and wine as converting and transforming ordinances- I pray that each time I receive that I will be converted afresh to the wonder of God's love shown so completely by Jesus in giving his body and blood- broken that we might be whole.

5. Animals- I have almost never been without a pet, right now we are considering getting a  rescue greyhound, as I really miss not having a dog, but we are waiting for the results of my interviews next week before deciding. Over the 20 years we have tended to have cats, and they have brought lots of joy and mischief into our lives. Right now we have two rescue gerbils living with us- but it is not the same as having a dog or a cat. Animals are uncomplicated and loving- a source of joy and comfort. They deserve to be treated with respect and care in return.

Thank you Songbird for reminding me to look for joy in all things.....

and.... 
     May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope! Romans 15:13 (MsgB)