I left home in the mid-day heat, I'd been doing this for a while now, finding the suns heat on my back more comfortable than the piercing glare of dozens of eyes burning into my very soul....
......they didn't undestand of course how could they, these women who'd been fortunate enough to find good husbands, men who loved them.... but me, well I had a good man once, but he died far too soon... I wonder sometimes what life would have been like, what I would have been like if he'd stayed with me...
... after that I had a series of disastrous relationships, divorced for burning soup, rejected and abused....and I needed to be loved, needed to give love, that's how I ended up living with Eli, no we're not married, and yes I know that is a sin, but it's what he wants, it's what I want...so I walk to the well in the mid-day heat, carrying my jar and my broken heart with me....
I could see him there, as I approached, a man at the well, my stomach started tying itself in knots, this wouldn't be the first time I'd been met by a man at the well, a man who believed the stories, who wanted me to give myself to him as if I was no more than a body- heartless and souless they saw me.... and I began to die inside...
...but I had to keep going, we needed water, and kind as Eli is I couldn't explain why we had none....I might end up alone again...
He smiled as I approached, but not the normal leering smile,still guarded I set my jar down, and then he spoke, this man was a Jew, in Samaria- he couldn't know about me....what a relief...
He asked for a drink; and we entered into what was the strangest conversation Ive ever had!
"Would you give me a drink of water?" he asked
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I was startled so my answer was a little rude- “How come you a Jew are asking ma a Samaritan for a drink?”
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His answer was strange, "If you knew the generosity of God and who I am, you would be asking me for a drink, and I would give you fresh, living water."
He didn’t even have a bucket; whatever was he talking about…
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"Sir” I replied politely this time,” you don't even have a bucket to draw with, and this well is deep. So how are you going to get this 'living water'?” Then more boldly “Are you a better man than our ancestor Jacob, who dug this well and drank from it, he and his sons and livestock, and passed it down to us?"
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His reply was even stranger this time” Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again and again Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst—not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life."
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Well that sounded good, strange and impossible but good- I wanted this life giving water so I replied, "Sir, give me this water so I won't ever get thirsty, won't ever have to come back to this well again!"
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Then as if he could see right through me he said, "Go call your husband and then come back."
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"I have no husband," I replied
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"That's nicely put” he smiled again “'I have no husband.' You've had five husbands, and the man you're living with now isn't even your husband. You spoke the truth there, sure enough."
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"Oh, so you're a prophet!” My discomfort had made me angry, “Well, tell me this: Our ancestors worshiped God at this mountain, but you Jews insist that Jerusalem is the only place for worship, right?"
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That smile again- not judging but accepting my challenge, he spoke with authority; "Believe me, woman, the time is coming when you Samaritans will worship the Father neither here at this mountain nor there in Jerusalem. You worship guessing in the dark; we Jews worship in the clear light of day. God's way of salvation is made available through the Jews. But the time is coming—it has, in fact, come—when what you're called will not matter and where you go to worship will not matter."It's who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That's the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration."
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I was stunned; who was I talking to…so I pushed for more: "I don't know about that. I do know that the Messiah is coming. When he arrives, we'll get the whole story."
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"I am he," he smiled "You don't have to wait any longer or look any further."
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Just then he was joined by a group of other men, they were carrying bread and other food. They were shocked to find him talking to me. In fact they couldn't believe he was talking with to me- a woman- a disreputable woman- why else would I be brazenly talking to a Jew, at a well, at mid-day? No one said what they were all thinking, but their faces showed it.
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I took the hint and left. In my confusion I left my jar behind. As I ran back to the village the strange conversation raced through my brain- he knew me, but didn’t condemn me, his offer of life giving water was spiritual, not physical….could it be that he, this ordinary looking man with a disarming smile…. Could he be the Messiah??? I shouted for everyone to come out, to meet him….
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How amazing would it be that he’d come to me a woman, a disreputable woman in Samaria……suddenly I knew, he was the Messiah- the promised one, and he had accepted me, and offered me life giving water- water for my soul, for my spirit-and for the first time in a long time I smiled- and felt my heart begin to heal…
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Come I called to everyone again- He told me everything I’ve ever done, come meet this man…the Messiah has come, to Samaria!
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I wrote this meditation quickly- yet as I wrote it I saw the vulnerability of women throughout the ages... It struck me as I wrote- that too often our identity is found not in who we are but in our relationship to others....and I wonder how often we guard our hearts, our true selves, from view.... how often we accept insult and injury as if it is right because we are women. But it is not right of course, and we should not accept it, nor should we see our selves as weak... we need to learn to love ourselves, as we love God, as we love others if we are to become whole:
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"Love is above all else acceptance of the whole, including, the flaws, the "holes" in us so to speak Holy women have a faith that reveals the strength of vulnerability. Their openess to a realtionship to God and to others gives them their depth."- Helen LaKelly Hunt
To love ourselves we have to come to know ourselves as we are, not as we are expected to be, this is an inward journey, a journey we will probably be uncomfortable making- but it is worth it for when we reach our centre we will find our source, and unblock the well for Gods living water to flow in.
