Today has been a real mixture, Chris had to be at the hospital by 2pm, and the morning took on a rather unreal quality of trying to be normal and yet knowing it wasn't, he slept in having been out the night before so I plugged away at my Church History assignment- which I am very glad to say is almost complete now ( a miracle!)...
We set off for Kings Lynn hospital at 1:30pm having hunted for slippers dressing gown etc.... hospital admissions are familiar to us now- after 21 years of being in and out of hospital Chris takes everything in his stride... blood tests, x-rays and, visits from the anaesthetist and surgeons...
.. in the end I left him chatting to the Physio and came home for tea- well to be honest Tim cooked while I added more words to the assignment!
... back to the hospital this evening, Chris as I say is used to the routine and was happily watching telly- hampered a little by a drip of Heparin which will replace his usual Warfarin until after the op...he is second on the list tomorrow so we are praying that all will go as planned. His skin grafts will be dressed with paraffin gauze and checked every week that he is in plaster....
... I still have times when I have to ask why someone who is only 21 needs to go through all this cr*p , he manages with such good humour most of the time, but now and then it gets to him... it gets to all of us!
Thank you everyone for your prayers, I have certainly felt carried by these today, God was particularly close as I drove home from Lynn, it is always hard to walk away leaving someone you love in the hands of others, but he is also in God's hands- of this I am certain.
I was listening to Genesis on the way home- my favourite album is the rather obscure From Genesis to Revelation- my favourite track- In Hiding- these lyrics challenged me:
In hiding
I may take off my clothes
That I wear on my face
I float upon a river
A million miles from the plains
That are piercing the clouds
I am lost in the beauty
In hiding
I wonder, do I hide in prayer... is that my safe place, the place where I can be myself where I am most real... it should be! It should be the place where I can become lost in the beauty and wonder of the love of God no matter what my circumstances- thoughts like this become shafts of sunlight breaking through the clouds of my depression and I am grateful for them.
Tomorrow I am going on my own to walk on the beach- to pray...
