End of the day- dinner was OK- bits of family stress accumulated over the last year as usual spill out at Christmas-but all will be well...
... tomorrow we travel down to Essex with part of the family- Paul will be working- Joanne is going to her boyfriends family for lunch- so Tim, Emma her boyfriend Ralph, Chris, Jon and I head down to my parents place....
I am not looking forward to it as it is usually a bit strained, differences in belief separate us, as do attitudes to life ( all interconnected I guess)...
... but I've decided just to let things be, to travel and let Tim drive, to take things as they come and to walk if I need to, my mum stresses over Christmas- she sees the need for perfection, but it is all at a surface level, scratch a bit and deep insecurities are uncovered- most of my childhood was like that!
I cannot continue to live at a surface level when there is so much going on underneath, so much healing needed, admitting you are broken is the first step, it may be a long road, but my feet are on it, and I do not travel alone... I travel with praying friends, and I in turn pray for them ( the broken for the broken), I travel with understanding family members whom I have hurt and pushed away, yet they welcome my presence with open arms... I travel with wise counsellors and leaders, whose own experiences lighten my path... and I travel with my God, made fully human understanding my battles and taking up my burdens as I accept his yoke... onwards and upwards....onwards and upwards...
