Today at Peterborough- I was able to own the fact that worship is hard right now- there are several factors entwined in that... but still it is hard, we shared the Eucharist, using a feminist liturgy lead by Malcom- I held Ted's hands and spoke words of forgiveness ( we did this for one another around the circle)-that I am able to do that brought tears that I could not explain! I can forgive and am forgiven....we shared bread and wine serving one another... again I was deeply moved, and yet I wanted to leave the circle, I feel so inadequate! Dawn really ministered to me today- back to the broken serving the broken!
We discussed Gay issues and Christian nurture- too much to go into here- but it reminded me of the fact that much of life is lived out in the questions of the grey- black and white answers exclude too many... and the choice to live with the grey is not the easy option, but the hard acknowledgement that we do not know all the answers!!!
Ted and I finished off the day singing and quoting Pink Floyd lyrics to one another(sad pair!)... we are also Genesis fans... so I end the day with a Genesis song that speaks of where I am:
In Hiding -Genesis- From Genesis to Revelation
Pick me up, put me down
Push me in, turn me round
Switch me on, let me go
- I have a mind of my own
In hiding
Far from the city of night
And the factories of truth
I stand upon the mountain
A million miles from my home
And the faces of fear
I have freedom to think
In hiding
I may take off my clothes
That I wear on my face
I float upon a river
A million miles from the plains
That are piercing the clouds
I am lost in the beauty
In hiding
Pick me up, put me down
Push me in, turn me round
Switch me on, let me go
- I have a mind of my own
I wish you were here
In hiding
I lie silent at last
I'm free from my past
I walk among the tall trees
This is beauty I know
I'm in love with it all
I have freedom to love
In hiding
Pick me up, put me down
Push me in, turn me round
Switch me on, let me go
- I have a mind of my own
Pick me up, put me down
Push me in, turn me round
Switch me on, let me go
- I have a mind of my own
I need to grow, I need to say I don't know... I need to be me!
