Eternal Echoes

Thursday

Trying to pray....appointments... blood tests...cleaning, clearing, preparing, .... e-mails... reading....driving...station..

guitar-case...phone-calls....meetings....apologies...moving...listening...changes... forms and reflections.....

wondering how it is possible that tomorrow it will be December!...books and assignments...time is slipping by again!

Pharisees

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Promises ,promises....

Hat tip to Matt Stone for this, I am still laughing!... but should it really make me cry?

Letter....

Dear God,

I'm finding it hard to talk to you at the moment, I guess I am worried that you will answer me, and then I'd have to acknowledge your voice! But I am lost without your guidance, and wandering this wilderness I keep finding myself in the same places, facing the same questions...

Sometimes I think that what I'd really like is a map, or a set of definite directions, leaving me with no doubts showing me which way to turn and how fast to go...but you answer my questions with questions, and challenge me to think. You leave lots of grey areas, some folk declare them black and white, and draw definite lines and claim to speak for you; but they are often brittle and hard and somehow I don't recognise you in them at all!

There was a time when I found prayer and worship easy, when I thought I knew your ways, and life seemed simple, if not easy it was at least straightforward. But now I don't even know what to call you half the time, and songs once sung so easily stick in my throat....

And yet, under all the confusion that is me I know you are there, and you have not changed, but you have changed me, and the changes have caused me to question, not you so much as my own assumptions, my narrow views could no longer hold your vastness, and the banks of the narrow channel have burst, and you it seems appear in the most unlikely places!

So I need a new song, and a new way of praying, and I guess the enormity of that is what is keeping me silent...but I need to sing, to speak, to worship... I need your Spirit to fill and mould me, and I can no longer hold back, for being empty is more painful than being overwhelmed, and so I am asking for your help again, your strength not mine, your still small voice to speak through the mess and muddle of my thoughts... your peace, your love and your joy...

I lift up my eyes to the hills—

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth..

Wednesday

Today at Peterborough- I was able to own the fact that worship is hard right now- there are several factors entwined in that... but still it is hard, we shared the Eucharist, using a feminist liturgy lead by Malcom- I held Ted's hands and spoke words of forgiveness ( we did this for one another around the circle)-that I am able to do that brought tears that I could not explain! I can forgive and am forgiven....we shared bread and wine serving one another... again I was deeply moved, and yet I wanted to leave the circle, I feel so inadequate! Dawn really ministered to me today- back to the broken serving the broken!

We discussed Gay issues and Christian nurture- too much to go into here- but it reminded me of the fact that much of life is lived out in the questions of the grey- black and white answers exclude too many... and the choice to live with the grey is not the easy option, but the hard acknowledgement that we do not know all the answers!!!

Ted and I finished off the day singing and quoting Pink Floyd lyrics to one another(sad pair!)... we are also Genesis fans... so I end the day with a Genesis song that speaks of where I am:

In Hiding -Genesis- From Genesis to Revelation

Pick me up, put me down
Push me in, turn me round
Switch me on, let me go
- I have a mind of my own

In hiding
Far from the city of night
And the factories of truth
I stand upon the mountain
A million miles from my home
And the faces of fear
I have freedom to think

In hiding
I may take off my clothes
That I wear on my face
I float upon a river
A million miles from the plains
That are piercing the clouds
I am lost in the beauty
In hiding

Pick me up, put me down
Push me in, turn me round
Switch me on, let me go
- I have a mind of my own

I wish you were here

In hiding
I lie silent at last
I'm free from my past
I walk among the tall trees
This is beauty I know
I'm in love with it all
I have freedom to love
In hiding

Pick me up, put me down
Push me in, turn me round
Switch me on, let me go
- I have a mind of my own

Pick me up, put me down
Push me in, turn me round
Switch me on, let me go
- I have a mind of my own

I need to grow, I need to say I don't know... I need to be me!

Tuesday...

Pastoring... storytelling..housework... paperwork.....walking ... skies... talking...food.. friends... family,....meetings....fighting for space....enjoying company,... challenges, and questions... late night phone conversations!

perspective....

T

Thanks againg to Dave Walker

Angel stories and burn out....

Today has been busy (again), starting with a staff meeting, time to catch up and reflect on the life of the Circuit, and a short time to pray together, I went on to take a school assembly. This assembly was for the upper half of the local primary school, I have a series of assemblies with them leading up to Christmas and am concentrating on accounts of Angels appearing in the Christmas narrative! I am trying to get away from the tinsel and tea-towel nativity plays to convey the awe and shock, and the enormity of the messages that the angels brought to Zacceriah,  to Mary, to Joseph and to the Shepherds!

I love story telling and adopt an interactive style, the children took on the angels voice today in the wonderful words " do not fear"- I was encouraged yesterday to meet one of the children in town who recounted to me the previous weeks story. It is an awesome privilege to share the wonders of the gospel with children- we must take care not to water it down in an effort to make it palatable!

Today I told of the angel visitations to Mary and Joseph, and was challenged as I thought through the story to consider the social impact it may have, this school has a number of single parent families within it, teenage pregnancies are not uncommon, not a few 6-7 year olds have mothers who are barely into their twenties! Would these children find through this story a way to identify with Jesus? I did not speak of age, but did emphasise that Mary was young, and spoke of her shock at finding out she would have a child , did any of these children know that their births were not planned, but were "shocks" for their mothers ? I wonder how many of these youngsters respond to these stories... why would God come to a poor home, why didn't he choose a palace? I hope that a fresh look at the familiar story over the next couple of weeks will help- all of this ends with the school Christingle Service on 18th December- parents and grandparents invited; it is usually quite an occasion!

This afternoon I had a meeting about an upcoming holiday club and then tried to complete some study, my mission assignment is complete, and I am now working on an assignment for the Christian God module- right now my brain is like sludge- I feel quite burned out, I don't so cold weather or winter well, and the dark nights are already getting me down.... cooking which is often an escape and a chance to be creative feels like an intrusion on the day... not helped by the fact that the dining room table has been submerged by Joannes chemistry course work, so we keep on eating in the living room... I hate this, we did make a special effort to access the dining room yesterday but today we are back to trays and TV!

I am grateful not to be preaching this weekend, and must take Dawn's advise and go to worship- too often I simply stay at home claiming a need for space if I am not preaching- but I recognise a need for worship, and right now I think that this wins out!

... and now, because I have not stopped all day I am going to crash in front of the TV, then because my feet are cold I am going to take a warm ( hot) bath and get to bed early... I need the sea....

Christ is King- Christ my King

I have just arrived home from my last service of the day, and am feeling deeply moved- I preached on Revelation 1 4- 20, Johns vision of the Risen and glorified Christ. The hymns- O Worship the King, Jesus the name High over all, Tell out my soul, At the name of Jesus , and Be Thou my vision, all added to the sense that there is a depth and breadth to Christ that is impossible for us to measure or fathom!

Mike had challenged me to think about an earlier post, where I had listed John Smulos recent lists, and specifically the list about being a Jesus follower.

Mike contends that being a Jesus follower is not enough- and that it is possible to follow the teachings of Jesus without embracing the fullness of what it means to be a Christian ( hope I am reading you right here Mike!). I find myself in agreement, and although I understand and want to shake off the negative connotations that the name Christian holds for many;(as John rightly points out) I find that I cannot ditch the name Christian for, to coin a phrase, that would mean throwing out the baby with the bath water.

So why am I a Christian? I am one in whom Christ dwells in all his fullness, and that to me is awesome, I am not only a follower but an essential part of the body of Christ on earth- His Church! I am a temple of the Holy Spirit, intimately and organically connected to Christ my King, my Saviour and My God, and I can do nothing other than own the fullness of that...

As I preached this evening I was struck by the power and majesty of the risen Christ,the power of his all encompassing sacrifice, others too were touched and challenged, and I was aware of being a channel of grace. I find this deeply humbling- for I know myself- I know my weakness and my flaws- and He knows them so much better than I do.

So I thank both Mike and John for their challenges, for now I am proud (?) to call myself a Christian, for all its negative connotations- the name encompasses more than Jesus follower for me! I wonder if perhaps we would do better to reclaim the fullness of what it means rather than to search for an alternative, any thoughts?

King of Kings, Majesty 

God of Heaven, living in me

Gentle Saviour, closest friend

Strong Deliverer, beginning and end

All within me falls at your throne

Your majesty,   I can but bow

I lay my all,  before you now

In royal robes, I don't deserve

I live to serve Your majesty

Earth and heaven, worship you

Love eternal, faithful and true

Who bought the nations, ransomed souls

brought this sinner near to Your throne

All within me cries out in praise

.

Your majesty,   I can but bow

I lay my all,  before you now

In royal robes, I don't deserve

I live to serve Your majesty

More than a glimpse of glory - Sermon blogging

I was driving through Thetford forest last weekend on my way down to Woodbridge- the trees were resplendent in their autumn colours, the suns rays slanting through the foliage gave me a glimpse of glory...

We are surrounded by glimpses of glory if we are awake enough to catch them, for me my daughters smile on Friday as the truth dawned upon her that she had indeed completed her degree and is now officially a graduate was priceless.... her degree came at a cost, she had worked hard, and given up a lot... but it was worth it.... now she is entering the world of work and more study, but Friday was her day of glory...

The trees in autumn have a short lived burst of glory before the whole cycle of seasons begin again... ... the suns rays catching on the sea, a painting, a piece of music, a sunset, a sunrise, all of these things grant us glimpses of glory...

Occasionally we catch Gods heart as we read Scripture or pray through the liturgy... and we catch a glimpse of glory!

Through out Jesus ministry people surrounding him caught glimpses of glory, healing and words of wisdom, acts of compassion and miracles marked him out as someone different. We have accounts in the gospels of at least three people being raised from death to life ... a glimpse of glory indeed... and then of course we have the account of the transfiguration... but all of these things were mere glimpses... glimpses of the one who had left his throne in heaven to come and dwell among us...

But John sees something completely different, he is confronted with the risen Christ, an awesome sight- his fullness revealed.

Listen to that passage again:

^{Rev 1:12- 17}

I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, and among the lampstands was someone “like a son of man,” dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.

^{Imagine Johns reaction - imprisoned on the Island of Patmos- was he filled with doubts and questions... had he been in prayer and worship, was he expecting God to step in and rescue him?}

^{Whatever he had expected it was not to be faced with the risen and glorified Christ in this way for he fell at the feet of this awesome sight as though dead!!! This was more than a glimpse of glory- this was Jesus Christ- his friend- now revealed as King of Kings and Lord of Lords.}

^{This was Christ in all his fullness- and yet it was the same Christ John had known; the Christ who had years before left his throne in heaven to come to earth, making himself vulnerable he came nt in the manner of worldly kings, but heralded as the king of heaven his birth announce to outcasts ( shepherds), and foreign astrologers ( wise men/ kings) .}

^{His life was essentially ordinary for many years, as he grew and waited for Gods timing...}

^{And he preached the kingdom, announcing Gods reign ... turning human systems and hierarchy on its head, challenging the system, and revealing through his life and teaching a new way of living...}

^{His is the kingdom where outcasts are welcome}

^{His is the kingdom here sinners are forgiven}

^{His is the kingdom where the political and religious systems are challenged and brought into question.}

^{His is the kingdom where the broken are made whole, the captives set free, and the day of the Lords favour is announced for all...}

^{For he calls the broken and the weary to come:}

^{Matthew 11:28-30   
    "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."}

^{His call is to follow; in following we are commanded to serve one another, to care for one another, to count others greater than  ourselves....}

^{His call is to obedience and prayer, to seeking blessings not for ourselves but for our community}

^{His rewards are the inner graces of love, joy and peace, patience , kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control- all of released to grow in our lives as we follow....}

^{For as we follow we will find ourselves transformed! Even in ourselves we will catch glimpses of glory!}

^{Yet here is Jesus, risen and glorified, his true being revealed, put yourself in Johns place for a moment, fallen in a dead faint at Jesus feet, and hear his words to you...}

^{Do not be afraid...}

^{This Jesus has overcome the power of sin and death, this Jesus this risen and glorified Lord is calling us to follow him, echoing his words to John... do not be afraid...}

^{He has promised never to leave us}

^{He has promised to equip us with power by through the Holy Spirits presence in our lives...}

^{He is the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the one who is, and was and is to come... he is with us in power even now- if only we have eyes to see and ears to hear and the humility to fall to our knees and name him King of Kings and Lord of Lords...}

^{For in Jesus we catch more than a glimpse of glory!}