It has been a long day today, lots to do, and lots done...I have finished two out of the three assignments that I need to get in by the 18th June, that is a relief, still having problems over gaining accreditation from St Johns Nottingham, getting Universities to speak to each other is torturous! Handed it all over to Esther now, she will probably have more clout than me being head of the new degree ... wait and see, I'm not holding my breath.... I am still feeling my way forward I started with ERMC half way through the year, and it has taken months to get stuff rolling, I still don't have a training agreement as nobody know which learning outcomes would be good for me to look at... I have too much experience apparently. It is odd joining a course when it is well underway and I feel a bit like a fish out of water, not least because I think differently to many, having a world view which I guess could be described as post-modern though I think that is a very overrated word!
I'm also working on an article on Wisdom in Luke as a part of a project with spiritual seekers in mind- challenging and I need to get that done by next Thursday....
I've had conversations with two ministers who want to look at Mind Body Soul Exhibitions, one encouraging , the other will need a lot of talking round!!!
I am preaching on Sunday and leading worship- so the hymns had to be in today!!! Organists self destruct if they do not have enough notice- not that I blame them, it is just that there are times when I hate choosing hymns... today is one of those days.
Then I forgot it is my turn to write the letter for the Circuit magazine... the editor wanted it today... so I wrote a letter... actually it was an adapted post from here... guess which one...
I also cut the grass (one lawn anyway), did some weeding and made homemade pizza...
I want to sleep but can't, my to do list is long... two exciting things especially the prayer tent for Downham Festival- we called it Soul Space last year and that attracted attention, we had over 200 visitors over the afternoon, anyway I need to get that finalised over the next couple of days, the tent goes up 7am Monday, and I have 3 hours to dress it before the Festival gets underway. Then I have teaching to prepare for the Church Army Summer School in June, I am looking forward to that, it is a bit of a confirmation of my ministry that I have been asked to teach there...
... and therein lies a struggle, I have had to write an assignment about my call to ministry, that is hard because I am in full time ministry already, I do almost everything the ordained ministers do even funerals... so for me this is not a huge step but a subtle adjustment of role. I am passionate about equipping the laity and feel Lay ministry both voluntary and paid is vital for the survival of the church, I find that people feel they need permission from someone they perceive has the authority to release them... this is the call I am following, that and the recognition the representation is essential in our communities, people need to know they have someone to turn to when disaster strikes... odd sense of vocation but there you are, tough to write 3,00 words when you want to say I am already doing it!
Another good thing I have to do is to redesign White-Fields publicity material and web-site with our Charity Details, a major cause for celebration but more work! Three years of hard work preparing the Trust documents vision statements etc have all come good, I don't know whether to laugh, cry or run away!
Tomorrow is my day off, not sure what to do, I sense a need to keep working but also know the dangers of in-balance... also this house needs cleaning... and I want to do some reading for me, not for study, not for work but for me, and if the weather is OK I will get the bike out again... another 10 mile ride coming up...it is wonderful to get out into the middle of nowhere.
I need the break, Jo and Jon have started their AS levels which means they are on study leave, teenagers take up huge amounts of space! Jon has a hospital appt. tomorrow at diabetic clinic, he needs blood tests as usual so we need to get there in good time. Chris is really fed up, trying to get him to exercise but he sees little point with another op coming up. Em has her final concert at Canterbury next week, it is actually during the weekend I am away with ERMC so I am going to the rehearsal on Thursday, can't believe she has completed 3 years! She is coming home for the summer then plans to move back to Canterbury to study for the Guildhall Diploma, then off to Manchester the Royal Northern for a string specialists course.
All of this family activity makes me feel exhausted and I wonder if I am mad studying, then I remind myself that I am not that old, Paul was born when I was 19 (not planned! but loved and received) and so we decided that having children while we were young was OK, I really did not want 2 families if that makes sense, so here I am trying to juggle study and work and family...HELP.
I can do this, I want to do this but right now I am feeling overwhelmed and a bit scattered... my parents were enjoying a bit of freedom from responsibility at my age, Tim's (ever looking forward) were planning for retirement, and I am making a mad career change. Is this simple a sign of the times, are we less content or more motivated and I am certainly not content to settle for stagnation...
There I am entering the loop again, this post could go round and round so I will stop... bit of photography down at the beach... my thin place and all will be well for a while...
