I
've just spent a couple of hours out in the garden clearing old leaves and dead growth from last year. I'm frustrated that I've let it become such a mess, with Chris (my som) in hospital for so long last year the garden and the house slipped on the priority list, we've just about been keeping up with essential house work but the garden was totally abandoned...
I feel tired just contemplating all that needs doing, but I have made a start and seen the promise of new growth in the snowdrops and in the spring bulbs that are starting to make an appearance ...I have resolved to do a little each day, I cannot do everything at once but rather to set aside half an hour to get out away from the computer and the books to dig or weed or prune something...
I've started the same approach with the house too, a little at a time and soon I'll be on top of things again and not feeling swamped by them...
I believe that more often than not God chooses to work with us like that... a little at a time revealing to us things that need change, calling us and drawing us to take one small step at a time, empowering us by the Spirit to do the things we are unable to do in our own strength, and gently like a mother who is teaching a little one o walk he holds us by the hand until we feel safe, when we stumble he will pick us up and set us on our way again...
A good gardener is aware of the seasons and the needs of the garden at different times of the year...our God is well aware of the seasons of our lives and takes care to nurture and sustain us through the difficult time, the times we simply need to rest.
So often our own expectations and demands of ourselves are the things that criple us, we are hard task masters of our souls demanding more from our brokenness (for we hide from it) than it is able to give, then like petulant children we blame God for being the harsh one and lash out at him for not caring... I know for I have done all of these things...
So what is to be done? I need again to stop I need to catch the unforced rhythms of grace that are constant towards me accepting healing, accepting my own brokenness and allowing time for the ground to be cleared, the house to be cleaned before the new growth can emerge...
