Eternal Echoes

My true self; big pictures and details....

 

Out of the depths I cry to you O God,

show me my true nature,

my true name,

take me beyond the outer things,

below and beyond the surface,

beneath and above the excuses,

set me free to be myself,

my true self, 

my God created self,

my loved and beloved self,

let me hear you calling me

to be, and to become...

out of the depths I cry,

I cry to you O God....

 

Over the last few weeks I have found myself lost in details, learning names and getting to know people, finding my way around, sorting out who meets when and where, and filling my diary with appointments many of which will become recurring and therefore almost second-nature. Through it all I have tried to listen, tried to take in as much as I can, and to be honest it has been exhausting. One of the reasons for this is that I am a big-picture person, I like to step back and look to the horizon, to scan for possibilities and opportunities. 

Knowing that I am a big-picture person helps me to understand myself, and over the years it has helped me to come to appreciate others whose gift is found in the details, people who will ask questions that require precise answers, answers that need to be found, answers that folk like me  skip over optimistically assuming that all will fall into place. Over the last few weeks I realise that I have frustrated one or two folk, wonderful details folk because in many ways although we are seeking the same objective we don't speak the same language. 

I have come to really value details people, in fact I admire them in so many ways, but I am also aware that we need one another, and that we need to find creative and liberating ways of working together. This last week I have valued a couple of opportunities to stop, to reflect and to take in the view from a physical perspective, once in the Lake District, and again more locally walking on the beach, both of these reminded me that I also need time to step back and survey the spiritual scenery both within myself and with the churches that I am called to serve. When I take the time to do this the gift of the big picture becomes clearer and I am able to convey it to the details folk in a way that makes sense, not only that but I am able to then understand how the details fit it rather than drowning in them. I am thankful for a meeting with my Spiritual Director today as in many ways that helped me to clarify this for myself again; it's funny how you know something and yet need to be reminded!

 

hold on....

hope weaves 

her golden thread,

silently, softly,

calling , drawing,

those with

eyes to see

and ears to hear,

take hold, take hold,

take hold

and follow, 

hold on,

 even in the struggles,

and the pain

I will not forsake you,

hold on,

and I will bring

you through,

hold on

for there's a blessing in

the holding,

hold on,

hold on,

hold out

for hope, for

hope weaves

her golden thread,

silently, softly,

even here...

I was chatting with a client at a drop in today, he articulated the Christian hope in a gracious and thoughtful way, seeing hope for transformation even in his darkest struggles.... and I was blessed.

God comes calling (Sermon blogging Genesis 3: 8-15 & Mark 3: 20-35)

Have you ever been utterly surprised by something you thought you knew well? A familiar view caught suddenly in new light revealing fresh vistas?  A phrase in a well known story that suddenly leaps out and hits setting off sparks in your imagination? A song you’ve heard a thousand times, and yet somehow you’ve never heard the underlying melody until today?

 

Have you ever thought to yourself, wow, this is the first time I’ve ever, seen/hear/thought that, and yet I am looking at/ hearing/reading something so familiar….

 

I want to challenge you to try to do that today, to open your ears and lend your imaginations afresh to the Genesis story, to come with me to the garden, to watch the scene unfolding…

 

Eve and Adam are hiding, they are feeling vulnerable and scared, they have eaten from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and they have been forever changed, their joyful innocence has gone, they are aware of their own nakedness, their frailty is evident to them….

 

And God calls; where are you? Of course God knows where they are, but the question reveals a deep longing in God for his creation for something has now gone wrong, something has been lost….

 

Now I’m not talking about sin here, for you must note that the passage itself says nothing about sin or the fall, both of those are layers we have added to this account through the years, and it is now difficult to hear the story without hearing them…

 

But Eve and Adam are lost, they have lost their confidence, they have lost their open and childlike relationship with God, they are like street children thrust into adult lives too early, confused and hurting they have attempted to clothe themselves with fig leaves…

 

Dressed in this inadequate clothing they respond to God, and the blame game begins….

 

She gave it to me…

 

The serpent tricked me….

 

So what’s going on here? I wonder as I read the passages in Genesis if Gods plan might at some point have been to share the knowledge of good and evil with them, when the time was right, when they had grown in their relationship with him, when they were ready for such a burden….

 

For God’s plan is surely that we walk with him, in relationship with him, to grow in the knowledge and love of him. No loving parent would want to keep their children as babies, we want them to grow and to learn, to develop and to mature, and good parents allow their children to stretch the boundaries and explore new things one step at a time….

 

But the fruit has been eaten, their eyes have been open and Eve and Adam are lost, lost to themselves and to God in confusion, pain and shame….

 

And I wonder how often that is our experience, I wonder how much of our spiritual and religious life is so much an exercise in sewing fig leaves together in a vain attempt to clothe ourselves and to be presentable. How often do we hide from God and from ourselves trying to be something we are not?  The truth is we are unable to cover our vulnerability and brokenness…

 

But God comes calling…..

 

Let’s leap in our imaginations now to the house where Jesus is, crowds of people have flocked to hear him, they can’t get enough of him, his teaching is new and open and radical, the God revealing ways that he opens the Scriptures and teaches have stirred in them a deep longing, an echo of Eden, a desire for healing, wholeness, and restoration, and they press in for more….

 

God is calling…. they are responding…

 

But not everyone is pleased, Jesus is drawing attention to himself and his family are confused, he is not holding to the social norms of the day, he is behaving strangely, he receives everyone, even tax collectors and prostitutes, lepers and adulterers, and they are embarrassed….

 

Jesus is teaching, and touching and healing, and the Pharisees, totally perplexed buy the God revealing acts they are seeing mistake the glorious work of the Holy Spirit as the work of Satan, and they declare he has a demon….

 

But Jesus makes clear, in the form of a parable, the scope of what he is doing in his freeing of the demon-possessed.  Jesus is coming to plunder Satan's household and bring about his end, not by division from within but by stealth and force from without.   Jesus' stealthy binding of the powers of evil ultimately undermines Satan so completely that even when he appears to have succeeded in destroying Jesus in the crucifixion, the very destruction of the Son issues not in defeat but in the mysterious victory of God.

 

Jesus will not be stopped, not by his family and not by the Pharisees, and he calls to the crowd to do the will of God, to become members of the new kingdom family….

 

God has come calling….

 

And hearing something fresh and new in his call the crowd respond, throwing aside their religious fig leaves they come as if naked and vulnerable before God who in Christ has shown himself in a new way, full of forgiveness and mercy, full of grace and truth, truth that sets them free from the rules that have bound them….

 

God is calling, calling to us today, for we are as vulnerable and broken as Eve and Adam, as frail and needy as the thronging crowd, and just as God did not leave Adam and Eve in their inadequate clothing but provided animal skins for them so he comes to us in Christ and offers us himself….

 

An animal was sacrificed to cover Adam and Eve; Jesus gave of himself to cover us, and he comes calling, calling us to clothe ourselves with the garments he supplies us with; compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Calling us to be quick to forgive an offense, to forgive as quickly and completely as he has forgiven us. And most of all he calls us to receive his garment of love, a garment so rich that it covers our brokenness when we receive it in humility and vulnerability….

 

The proud and the arrogant, the self righteous and the self sufficient ones cannot wear these clothes, they are given to those who know their frailty and weakness, the vulnerability and nakedness, for the clothes he gives us are the clothes of grace.

 

If we put on grace God comes calling through us, calling to the broken and the vulnerable, working in us so that we see our neighbour in need and offer to share the grace we have received with them, calling us beyond ourselves to touch the world in prayer, to bring out the God colours and God flavours in it, to shine a light into the dark places, to speak love and to reach out, to draw a crowd….

 

God is calling, calling us today to cast of our religious fig leaves and to become bearers of love and grace, to paint his picture, tell his story and sing his song…

 

And we need not be afraid for God knows us as we are and will cover us with all that we need, he will waken us to the Spirit within, and the miracle is that somehow our weakness becomes his strength, for he has chosen to place his treasure into the cracked clay pots of our lives and to make us beautiful….

 

God is calling….

 

How will you respond?

 

Dear Church, (a letter of longing, an invitation to dance ...)

Dear Church,

I love you, indeed I am a part of you and have chosen to follow a call to be so, but I have to admit that there are times when I walk or drive away from our meetings and I simply want to weep. I see that we do many good things, but I weep for so often we miss the best, by refusal, by blindness or by misunderstanding, don't we know that the message we hold is a glorious Spirit fired, message of grace and love? Let me explain a little by telling you a part of my story;

I came to join you as a mixed up teenager who wanted to know God, and for years (yes literally years) I tried to fit in, to do and say the right things, to understand your practices and rituals, all the time believing that if I could only get them right then God my receive even me! It took a real crisis in my life to draw from me a heartbroken prayer and a realisation that I could not be the person I was trying to be, I would always get it wrong, make mistakes and trip over my own feet. It was in my moment of giving up and giving in that I discovered something amazing and freeing, life-giving and affirming, the amazing truth was that God had been wanting to love me, help me and support me and equip me and even carry me when necessary all along. 

The scale of that revelation was mind blowing for me, and I can remember days when laughter and joy would simply bubble up inside me for the sheer wonder of it all, and I could not understand why you hadn't shared this secret with me! I looked for people who had had a similar revelation, and found some, some within my local fellowship, and some in other places, and I sought them out and drank form the life giving streams of the Spirit whenever I could.

But, and it is a big but, everywhere I went I discovered rules to be followed and again and again I would try to live within those rules, and again and again I would find myself thinking that I was not good enough for God and would have to try harder, and when I did, the joy left me and I would find myself struggling. As I talk with you I find that we are often in that same place, striving and struggling to get it right, wanting to know God, and it saddens me to know that again and again we lay burdens upon one an-others backs.

Now before anyone gets cross or hurt please know that I don't say that lightly, I say it because I see it all of the time and I don't doubt that I too have been guilty of it. The truth is we have a tendency to get strange ideas about God into our heads, only yesterday I heard someone say that "if we truly lived as Jesus wanted us to then we would be a strange buttoned up, straight laced group of people that would confuse and repell others....."

Where on earth did that idea come from? How could anyone who has read the Gospels believe that "if we truly lived as Jesus wanted us to then we would be a strange buttoned up, straight laced group of people that would confuse and repel others....."

When I hear things like this I want to weep with frustration and anguish and anger, yes anger that we have told ourselves such lies, that we have loaded one another with so many burdens of how to and what to that we stumble around under the weight of them, and in the midst of all this confusion and stumbling we wonder amongst ourselves why we are not attracting new members! Then we feel bad and so we plan and scheme and work and strive and frankly we wear ourselves out, we take on new initiatives and struggle to keep them afloat....

It saddens me that we are like this so often, and I wonder if you'd pause with me for a few moments to listen to the words of Jesus, spoken on a day of frustration in his ministry (go and read the Chapter, and the Chapter's around it and you'll see what I mean);

"^16-19How can I account for this generation? The people have been like spoiled children whining to their parents, 'We wanted to skip rope, and you were always too tired; we wanted to talk, but you were always too busy.' John came fasting and they called him crazy. I came feasting and they called me a lush, a friend of the riffraff. Opinion polls don't count for much, do they? The proof of the pudding is in the eating."

The Unforced Rhythms of Grace

 ²⁰Next Jesus let fly on the cities where he had worked the hardest but whose people had responded the least, shrugging their shoulders and going their own way.

 ^21-24"Doom to you, Chorazin! Doom, Bethsaida! If Tyre and Sidon had seen half of the powerful miracles you have seen, they would have been on their knees in a minute. At Judgment Day they'll get off easy compared to you. And Capernaum! With all your peacock strutting, you are going to end up in the abyss. If the people of Sodom had had your chances, the city would still be around. At Judgment Day they'll get off easy compared to you."

 ^25-26Abruptly Jesus broke into prayer: "Thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth. You've concealed your ways from sophisticates and know-it-alls, but spelled them out clearly to ordinary people. Yes, Father, that's the way you like to work."

 ²⁷Jesus resumed talking to the people, but now tenderly. "The Father has given me all these things to do and say. This is a unique Father-Son operation, coming out of Father and Son intimacies and knowledge. No one knows the Son the way the Father does, nor the Father the way the Son does. But I'm not keeping it to myself; I'm ready to go over it line by line with anyone willing to listen.

 ^28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

 Jesus wants us to live and move within his unforced rhythms of grace, yes there are boundaries and yes there are rights and wrongs, but by the  Holy Spirit he will lead us gently into them, he longs take our hands and dance with joy for us...

He longs for us to know the life giving freedom and order of Pentecost, and yes I truly did say order, for just as the Spirit brooded over the chaotic waters at the beginning of creation so she broods and breathes over the chaos that is her church today longing to bring us to a new birth. That is a powerful picture, for it is not brooding in the sense of being filled with morbid thoughts but rather the sense of the Spirit as a mother hen incubating her eggs or her new chicks, warming, nurturing and protecting them until they are able to run freely...

The Spirit longs to birth her new life in amongst and through us, bringing order out of our chaos, the chaos of our misunderstandings and our stumblings, just as she did on the day of Pentecost when the disciples were filled with the power and love of God and when the message of Jesus, his birth, death and resurrection suddenly took on form and meaning transforming their timidity and placing in Peter ; you remember Peter, the stumbling, lying, denying, terrified one; well yes placing in him the a firey eloquence that drew a crowd....

 So here is what I am trying to say through all of this, when I drove away weeping from a service on Sunday I saw you (us) as the crippled woman we find in today's lectionary reading;

"She had been afflicted with this for eighteen years. When Jesus saw her, he called her over. "Woman, you're free!" He laid hands on her and suddenly she was standing straight and tall, giving glory to God."

Jesus longs to lay his healing hand upon us, to set us free from our self imposed constraints and rules, he longs to give us the fresh gift of his Spirit to enable and comfort, to teach, equip and lead us, to set us free to stand tall, and to live in the light and glory and freedom of the God who does not berate us for our sins, but removes them from us as far as the east is from the west, freeing us to dance with him, to become all that he has called us to be. If we dare to do that "casting off all that hinders us" and daring to run free with him, entering into the glorious circle of love and allow ourselves to be embraced by the God (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) who only wants the best for us, and has chosen to make himself known through us, if we dare to do that then our strivings will cease and we will learn to live freely, lightly, joyfully abandoned to his purposes day be day transformed more and more into his likeness overflowing with the generous generosity of God.

Quite simply dear Church, he wants to bless us that we might be a blessing to others....

Will you join me, as I join him in the dance? It is from that dance that we are set free to sing his harmonies of truth and justice, grace and peace, from there that we can invite others to join us to work for wholeness and healing as in and though him we learn the fullness of our calling and our being....

All pictures by Tim

awakening....

As I walked through Durham today my attention was not caught by the bridges or the Cathedral towering over the city, but by the new leaves unfurling on the trees, and the freshly washed verges, where spring flowers and shoots were beginning to show. For once I stopped and breathed for long enough to catch a glimpse of the presence of God coursing through creation, bringing fresh life to the earth. I was struck by the fact that every spring trees receive a new cloak of leaves, and though they might be similar to last years cloaks, they will not be the same...

A fore taste of the new earth to come: 

 ¹ I saw a new heaven and a new earth. The first heaven and the first earth were completely gone. There was no longer any sea.

 ² I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem. It was coming down out of heaven from God. It was prepared like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.

 ³ I heard a loud voice from the throne. It said, "Now God makes his home with people. He will live with them. They will be his people. And God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴ He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or sadness. There will be no more crying or pain. Things are no longer the way they used to be."

 ⁵ He who was sitting on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" 

(Revelation 21)

 

Picture: Best Spring Trees by Julie Haskell

+

+

the year turns on

to spring,

and as the sap rises

the potential

of a new season

begins to unfurl

in paper thin leaves,

and blossoms pregnant

with promise,

life burgeons

everywhere,

called

to new birth

by a powerful

internal

awakening...

here Ruach's breath

is stirring

through creation

wooing her with warmth

and washing

her clean with

gentle rains...

if we are attentive,

she might refresh us too...

+

 

 

 

 

 

 

On integrity and grace...

Well I have to admit that the whole Twitter explosion regarding Rob Bell passed me by, and in many ways I am grateful. It has also made me think again about using this media and the way that it is easy to become drawn into making hasty statements without any real knowledge of the basis for the original remarks...

I am concerned and saddened by the way that Christians have behaved towards Rob Bell and one another in this starting with John Piper's flippant "farewell" tweet to the raft of other condemnatory comments. Add to this the fact that the whole things was conducted on a public forum in a public way which goes clearly against Biblical counsel on disagreements.

Scott McKnight's words of wisdom should not have been needed, but we would do well to heed them, responding to a question from Christianity today he said:

" I want to wait to see what Rob Bell says, read it for myself, and see what I think of it. Rob is tapping into what I think is the biggest issue facing evangelicalism today, and this fury shows that it just might be that big of an issue.

The publicity approach of HarperOne worked perfectly. They got huge publicity for a book. They intended to provoke -- and they did it well. I think it is wiser to wait to see the real thing than to rely on publicity's provocations. Justin bit, and so did many of his readers.

Frankly, John Piper's flippant dismissal of Rob Bell is unworthy of someone of Piper's stature. The way to disagree with someone of Rob Bell's influence is not a tweet of dismissal but a private letter or a phone call. Flippancy should have no part in judging a Christian leader's theology, character or status."

Wait, read,  become informed, then consider, and act with grace and integrity!

What a shame that the twitterer's were not able to do this, and in fact still aren't because the whole explosion continues, some are "praying" for Rob Bell, whilst others continue to defend him and are slinging mud at John Piper. Add to that the fact that Piper himself was linking to a blog post by Justin Taylor, and that Taylor freely admits that he has NOT read all of Bell's new book but is responding to a part of it and to the promotional video and the whole thing becomes frankly absurd.

Like Scott McKnight I will not comment on Bell's book until I have read it, and given the initial controversy I will probably read it twice and prayerfully consider it before commenting. I will say that I have enjoyed Bell's work so far, and the video that has caused such divisions is attractive and compelling but does not offer any answers- it raises questions- and that I suspect was the publishers intention.

Here for those who have not seen it is the video...

 

 

Also twitterer's you might like to spare a thought for the web-designer from West Yorshire who is currently amused by his sudden fame, but the insults and messages of suppoer that keep coming his way via twitter may begin to wear thin. His twitter name is robbell, if you want the other Rob Bell, you'll find him at realrobbell!

robbell has said:

Dear Christians, I am not @realrobbell although I hear he does really great things. Please at least look before you 'quote' me as him

oh dear, my namesake is now a Trending Topic worldwide on Twitter, best get ready for fresh lunacy! What else is gonna go mad today?!?

@bethbeutler lol thanks Beth. Not as bad or as many as I expected when other Rob trended. I don't mind, I hear he's a thoroughly good bloke

@reverendjohnson do they? Why would an entire religion want to bash a simple Englishman like myself? I'm quite concerned...

@theonetruemyles who is this @johnpiper and why is he denouncing me? Did he not like a website I designed?

Dear Christians- please at least look!

On Worship....

Words of wisdom from my eldest son:

"mum, some of the best worship times I've had are when things don't go quite as planned, you never know some of those compliments may have been true,and people may have got something out of it, maybe not quite what you intended but God has some funny ways sometimes..."

And posts from other bloggers such as Graham Peacock and Peter Banks along with questions raised here by my friend Helen about substance and depth in worship have got me thinking about the hour or so of time that some of us pour so much energy into every week. We call it worship, and I guess that that is what we turn up to do, hoping that others will join us and that what we have prepared will lift them and inspire them in some way, and hoping that somehow we have heard from God and that he is present with us in this time that we have dedicated and set apart....

I blogged yesterday about a service where I forgot some of the elements and feel that I waffled rather than facilitated, but I have to acknowledge that Paul is right, God uses our mess so many times, and Helen is right we need depth and substance more than we need perfection and empty though well produced ( sometimes) songs!

I can relate to Helen and Graham's experiences with worship songs, the feeling that there is somehow nothing in them or to them at times, and I have been there in the Spring Harvest Big Top struggling to understand what all the hype and excitement is about ( in fact we decided a few years ago not to go back). If I am honest I find that I worship best when I can loose myself in "wonder love and praise" and that may not be in church at all, it might be walking on a beach or climbing a hill, it might be watching a film when a phrase or a scene grabs me and transports me to another place, it might be listening to music; it often is.

I can clearly remember an amazing experience driving home from dropping my son Jon at Uni in Lancaster, traveling along the M62 in the dark, it was snowing and I was listening to the Bach Double, there was something about the dark and the snow combined with the music that made my car a holy place for a while. Other music/ driving experiences also stick in my mind; listening to the Killer "Human", and to Coldplay's "Fix You" have at other opened a window to worship...

Other times include sitting on the sea wall at Snettisham in Norfolk and watching the sun set over the Wash, listening to the birds and the sound of the waves on the shore, and recognising that the thing rising within me is worship and allowing that worship to flow ( yes if you were there I was the mad woman singing gibberish on the sea wall)...  and experiencing silence in a room filled with people who were all waiting on God during a retreat. Sometimes it can be as simple as catching a smile on someones face...

So I am left with the question of how to capture something of those moments and translate them into the hour or so a week that we set aside ( and yes I lead more than one act of worship each week). I think that expectation has huge amounts to do with this, but it should not be an expectation that we place upon ourselves but rather an expectant seeking for God, the trouble with our set aside hour is that it is simply that, and if we start to prepare we might find that we need to prepare to prepare and get ourselves into the same mess as my friend the Archdruid Eileen did with a whole raft of pre- and post worship gatherings.

The answer I think is simple, and it is not new, we should live lives of worship, our eating sleeping and walking around lives should be offered to God in the same way that we offer our Sunday mornings/ Wednesday evenings to him. We should allow ourselves to be touched by those unexpected Holy Moments and we should treasure them, and dare I say it talk about them...

There is much talk about the spiritual age that we live in, and an acknowledgment that we need to make connections somehow, I truly think that freeing ourselves from the hour time slot and owning our innate spirituality and humanity might just be the way forward....

Twelve days....

I am sitting at my desk and trying to take a step back to think about the last twelve days;I feel as if I have been caught up in a fast moving soap opera script, and the writers have just taken a break to focus their attention elsewhere!

Twelve days ago my home started filling up with family members, they were coming to celebrate my eldest sons' wedding, by the day of the wedding there were 14 0f us at lunch time. Paul and Louise's wedding was a joyful family occasion.... and we moved on

... to a yard sale, because we are moving house, and raising funds to send my youngest daughter Jo on a mission trip to Zambia....

Preaching is normal for a Sunday, but with the busyness of the week it proved a challenge, our minds were preoccupied any way as n Tuesday we dropped Chris and his girlfriend Ness at Downham station...

Chris was to be admitted to the Royal Brompton Hospital for surgery, which was thankfully a great success... it has been a long time coming!

While Chris was in hospital with Ness wonderfully supporting him we prepared for another wedding, this time for a young friend. We helped to set up the reception venue and sorted out various instruments for the band at the ceremony, I was privileged to be invited to preach ...

....Tim and I stayed for the wedding speeches and headed off to London to collect Chris and Ness....

Time for a rest???

No, time to travel down to Essex for a family get together to celebrate my mother-in-laws 70th....

Followed the next day by 2 services, first my final service and sermonin Downham Market, and then a Circuit farewell service where God was praised and we were thanked for our ministry...

... a rest?

Well not quite because to add to the excitement Emma my eldest daughter was left stranded by an ineffective train service. Tim and I are grateful to Ann and Mike her boyfriends' parents for rescuing her!...

And now, I am sitting at my desk trying to take stock, next to me is a pile of prayers and blessings written during yesterdays service by the folk who were there. The prayers are for our whole family, and we are grateful, and not a little overwhelmed...

No wonder I can't think.....

Right, back to the packing in 20 days we will be living in Yorkshire!!!

Through all the changing scenes of life,
In trouble and in joy,
The praises of my God shall still
My heart and tongue employ.

....on taking a stand in seeking a fresh vision...

Over the last few weeks I have been extremely busy, too busy in fact. I might be excused then for suffering a brain glitch on Saturday evening when I decided to revisit the Scriptures for the morning service. For some reason I thought that I had chosen the Epistle and the Gospel readings, and not the Old Testament and the Gospel readings... in the light of what I read I pottered around with my sermon and printed off the final order of service...

...to my surprise when I arrived at the Chapel the first reader stood to read from Ezekiel and not 2 Corinthians! And it was through that reading that God spoke, and any sermon preparation I had done was swiftly changed again...

As Ezekiel 2: 1-7 was read the first few verses seemed to shout out for attention;

"He said to me, "Son of man, stand up on your feet and I will speak to you." As he spoke, the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet, and I heard him speaking to me. "

This passage follows directly on from Ezekiel's' initial vision of God and it is as he is face down on the ground, awed by what he has seen that God speaks and tells him to stand. To me this was significant because I rarely find myself face down in the dirt before a God. Ezekiel had been caught up in a vision, seeing perhaps only a glimpse of God's glory, but it was enough to drive him to his knees. It strikes me that we domesticate God too often, we make him safe and reliable, we don't grasp his might, his power, her radiance or wildness. Perhaps what the Church today needs more than anything else is a sense of the glory and majesty of the God we profess to worship.

The Gospel reading ( Mark 6: 1-13) makes our predicament clear, Jesus friends and family in his home town are finding it difficult to accept him as the Messiah, they have heard his teaching and witnessed miraculous healings, but remain unconvinced. I wonder if we live in a state of being unconvinced, we know the Gospels, but we don't truly know or accept the Christ who longs to move amongst us in power. When he is domesticated and safe and full of a warming love that makes us comfortable we remain largely unchanged.

I wounder what would happen to us if we dared to draw closer to the heat of that love, if we dared to allow it to consume us, in being consumed would we catch a glimpse of his glory and end up on our knees, or better still face down in the dirt....

If we were to remain there for long enough would we hear God's voice, would he command us to stand, and as we did would we find the Spirit speaking clearly to us?

I often find myself in meetings where strategy and finance are discussed, the question always seems to be about the survival of the church; how long can we hold on for....? Too often these meetings are panic driven, too often they are not God centered, and rarely do we seek a real vision, we are too focused on plans and budgets....

...and yet I hear a very real spiritual thirst and hunger voiced not only from the people who frequent our pews week by week, but also by members of the wider community. The desire is for something more and something deeper, something as yet unrealised, but something that they know deep within to be possible. Could it be that the something that folk are longing for is a real encounter with the living God?

I think that it is, and I also believe that it is time that we raised our eyes from our budgets and our plans and cried out to God for a fresh vision. I am not advocating dumping our earthly responsibilities, but I am suggesting that we revisit the sense that HE IS ABLE! He is able to do more than we could ask or imagine, and he is asking us in difficult and challenging times, when congregations are dwindling and budgets are becoming tighter to stand, and to look up, to be filled again by the fire of the Spirit through whose transforming power the church is called to be and to minister.

BUT, first we must seek that vision, and allow it to drive us not only to our knees but lower still, accepting that without him we are nothing.......

Being myself with integrity ....(thoughts on worship and practice, esp. concerning the Lords Supper/ Eucharist)

A caveat for this post is that the opinions and preferences expressed are my opinions , and do not  represent the opinions and views of the whole of the Methodist Church in Great Britain, some may in fact be quite unique to me!

I have been mulling over this post for the last day or so, and think that perhaps the only way to collect my thoughts together is to go ahead and write it. Last weekend I was privileged to be present as some of my friends were ordained either as Deacons or Priests in the Anglican Church. The first group of ordinations I attended were set in Ely Cathedral and carried out with much pomp and ceremony as fitted the occasion and the place. The robes were splendid, the liturgy was solemn and yet celebratory and the music from the organist and the choir was wonderful. I enjoyed being there, but to borrow a phrase from Dave Perry, who is currently District Chair for Lincoln and Grimsby ( who was speaking on a not entirely disconnected matter) ".....As a Methodist (almost) presbyter, .... I found myself in a foreign land....."

On Sunday I set of early in the morning in order to be able to attend my good friend Mike Bursell's ordination, the bonus was that Iain Bendry another friend from ERMCwas also being ordained. Not quite the grandeur of Ely Cathedral this time, but the more intimate setting of St Andrew's Church Halstead. The ceremony was still very much in evidence however with all of the clergy robing for the occasion, processions in order of precedence and much more besides. Whilst I appreciate the solemnity of such occasionss and even believe that it is right and proper there were some elements again through which  "....As a Methodist (almost) presbyter....I found myself in a foreign land...."

Practices such as reverencing the altar are foreign to me, I smile because Mike refered to it as a table several times in conversation so there is hope for him yet. I do believe that the table is no ordinary table, but becomes for us a sacred table and reminds us of the sacramental nature of our worship even when the service being conducted is a service of the word. To reverence the table for me would be to reverence a symbol, and therefore unnecessary, and potentially unhelpful.

On Sunday afternoon I felt honoured and privileged to assist Mike in his first Mass, and have to admit that there is very little difference in the Eucharistic liturgies that we use at first glance. Rather than going into what could be a very long explanation and exploration now I will wait to see how this conversation develops. What I will do is say what is important to me about the Eucharistic Service.

1. We receive the sacrament in response to the word of God and at his invitation. Although we bring to the table the elements of bread and wine the invitation is given by God and we respond to God. The word read ( and preferably preached upon ) is an important part of the whole liturgy for me. Interesting because as Methodists we do not usually stand to hear the gospel read, and if I were to adopt any of the practices from Sunday that are not currently my own then this would probably be one. This is because I do acknowledge the uniqueness, importance and relevance of the gospels in relation to the incarnation ( God as Christ).
2. The invitation to receive the elements needs to be heard as if it were given by Christ himself. For me this is an intimate meal, a thin place ( yes I am getting all celtic) where heaven and earth meet.
3. We meet to participate in an active remembrance, understanding and embodying through our intention and actions what we have inherited from those who went before us. To quote the Methodist publication Share this Feast:            " (we) re-enact the story and allow its meaning and power to shape our actions in the present world."
4. The meal to which we are invited is a communal meal, this is highlighted in the Methodist liturgy where possible by the act of waiting together "table by table" for each group to be served, and then receiving together a blessing through the presbyter who has officiated.
5. I believe in the transformative power of the reception of the elements, into which the Holy Spirit has poured life and power.
6. The Eucharistic prayer should be a drama, let me explain, we act out and respond to the invitation of God in Christ to actively remember and receive from him. Therefore gestures and elevations etc are important, however I do not see them as a prescribed and set in stone group of enactions, my practicce may differ from one service to another and from one liturgy to another.
7. I like to use creative liturgies ( Iona, Northumbria, and variations on both which I have constructed), but maintain that they must contain elements of confession, and thanksgiving, and that the Eucharistic prayer itself must maintain its integrity ( words of institution and the epiclesis).
8. For mysefl I would prefer the elements to consist of real bread which can be torn and broken, and for all to share from the same loaf, and for real wine served from a chalice.... which just goes to show that I am a mixture, and will remain constrained by tradition, but willing to take it to its limits!

I am very aware that this list could go on and on, and so I leave it now in the hope that it will open a conversation, and will finish with a poem/ prayer that I have posted before.

 

 

Eucharistic thoughts

.

I want to meet you

in chewable chunks of grace,

to savour the flavour

of your gift…

.

I want to spend time

contemplating the wonder

of your givenness,

I want to be

nourished, challenged

and transformed!

.

I want to gulp down

deep draughts

of your love,

to feel it’s fire

filling my heart and soul

warming my bones!

.

I want to be cleansed

and restored

as I meet you

in the brokenness of bread,

and in the cup freely offered.

.

I want to go different,

to be different!

Will you meet me here?

.

Is it right that

I should leave your table

still hungry?