Sometimes even those resources are hard to lay my hands on, but even then if I choose to be mindful the memory of them can be sustaining. I am reminded of the words of Psalm 139:
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you're there!
If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings
to the far western horizon,
You'd find me in a minute—
you're already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I'm immersed in the light!"
It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.
1.What brings you light in the dark places?
OK first off I have to confess that as one prone to depression whose default is to retreat into myself and wallow, the one thing that brings me light in the dark is other people, I need company and hate being alone for long periods. So going out, meeting friends and having somebody to talk to really helps. The problem comes if I do sink into a dark place is that I find it difficult to reach out for what I need, and the vicious cycle begins; the extrovert turns introvert. Not good.
The photo here is of Tim and me dancing at my daughters wedding last November, a truly happy day, a real light in a dark place!
2. How do you connect/reconnect with God, and where do you find him/her holding you?
Usually through time, and prayer, being honest and open, and even throwing things where necessary! See the poem below! But probably mostly through the bread and wine of communion, in the liturgy and the receiving, the breaking and the sharing reminds me that he is there, broken with me, and making me whole.
This has brought me great comfort over the last few years: A Psalm of Anger by Nicola Slee:
Rage ricochets off the empty cloister walls,
anger erupts at the altar.
The silence palls.
My serene piety falters and crumbles.
My lips mouth the prayers
but my heart lurches and stumbles
on the edge of this gaping pit
into which my cries have fallen.
I will storm this silence
not with praise but with venom.
I will blast this emptiness
not with patience but with anger.
My mantra is not "mercy"
but a cacophony of curses
hurled headlong at your distance,
spat in the face of your absence.
I am sick of your silence,
I have had my fill of you hiddenness,
I am faint with the worry of waiting
on your word which never comes.
Have you not seen my pain?
Have you not heard
the anguish of my heart?
How can you stand far off
and watch me writhing and straining for you
with my bleary, tear-filled eyes,
crying for you with my dry and weary throat?
Why do you gloat from afar?
Will you not come?
Will you not show yourself?
- 4. Is there a piece of music that lifts your heart?(share it or a link to it)
The Bach double with it's intertwining melodies, what more can I say....
- 5. Is there a place you run to (even in your imagination?
Always to the beach....