I struggle with insecurity; from a young age I entered into the bad habit of comparing myself to other people, and surprise, surprise there have always been cleverer, prettier and more successful people for me to compare myself to.
As a woman I am susceptible to pressures from the media who demand that I look a certain way and behave a certain way. As a mother I am prone self criticism when other mothers seem to do so much for their children and still remain calm and in control. As a professional person I feel that I am always playing catch up, and as a student I am very aware that although my grades are good they could be better.
Insecurity is a disabling thing! It causes us to compare ourselves to others and find ourselves wanting!
In her book Looking for God Nancy Ortberg says:
Comparison is so destructive. It erodes our love for other people, and causes us to shun the gifts that God has given us.
I believe that not only does comparison erode our love for others, it can make them our (percieved) enemies Comparrison also erodes our relationship with God; self loathing and comparison distorts our view of him and he changes in our minds from being the one who loves us completely and perfectly to being a harsh judge who finds fault with us at every turn.
When I feel judged at every turn I want to hide, and retreat within myself, in doing so I cut myself off from the relationships with people and with God. I need to stop looking through the lens of comparison, and instead choose to switch to looking through God's lens, where I will find reflected the wonderful mystery that he calls me fearfully and wonderfully made, where he declares that I am precious and honoured, and asks me to consider the plans he has for me. If I catch even a glimpse of the height and depth of his love my insecurities begin to diminish, and so I need to shift my focus away from the lens of comparison, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made!!!
