I went to see my G.P today and am currently signed off work for a fortnight ( 2 weeks), with stress related depression. I have sensed it creeping up on me over the last couple of months and knew that if I did not take steps to receive treatment that it could easily end in a full scale nervous breakdown.
There are many factors involved in this type of illness, including the lifestyle that you lead, to say that my life is not an oasis of calm is an understatement! Having said that I suspect that I am physiologically predisposed to depression, that is to say, my brain chemistry is such that I become depressed fairly easily. With this in mind at my G.P's suggestion I am going to take steps to simplify life... easier said than done perhaps, but worth the challenge. I think that for me it will mean not continuing my hands on work with Journey Into Wholeness which involves long hours of travel and teaching, (I will however continue to write on this subject) I will also -negotiate my placement down to the absolute minimum.
Today I have e-mailed a number of people to tell them I am not at work at the moment, I have spoken to others. As usual some understand, or try to, and some don't, there is also an underlying opinion that Christians have no business being depressed, it is unspoken and subtle, and grounded in ignorance! I believe that I am in good company certainly Jeremiah showed signs of depression, as did Naomi, while the Psalms are peppered with verses that ease the heart of those who struggle with being eternally positive. I love these verses from Psalm 42, where the Psalmist acknowledges his condition, and yet chooses the path of hope...
Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again—
my Savior and my God
I will praise again, I am down and discouraged now, but I will praise again. So please don't tell me to cheer up- the simple fact is that I can't, I am unwell but I will praise again, when the medication takes effect and I have rested...I will praise again.
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