Eternal Echoes

Personal thoughts

The Royal Brompton Hospital was on the news twice this evening, both times for life saving, pioneering surgery; each time the folk involved spoke about the difference that surgery had made to their lives and what an emotional time it was. I listen to this as Christopher approaches yet another round of surgery at the Royal Brompton, and I must admit, I know what they mean.

Even though I will not accompany Chris this time ( his girlfriend Ness is going) it feels like we are approaching the edge of a cliff, each time we have to step off and abandon ourselves to God and to the Dr's skills. Each time feels like a test, even though theologically I cannot agree that it is. I do dare to say though that each time prayer becomes just a little more difficult. I don't think that this is lack of faith, it is simply weariness, a weariness that can reduce me to tears...

If this is weakness, then I admit that I am weak, and that all I can do is to accept the yoke of Christ, for through it he offers a relief from weariness, and from religions dogmas... I find myself returning to the passage as it is rendered in The Message:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." ( Matthew 11: 28-39)

 

And find that in the midst of the packing and sorting for moving, I must own my own weariness, I am unable as yet to get excited about the move, and even unable to be excited by the two family/ friend weddings that are to take place over the next week. Weariness does that to you... I have run out of whys(?), and simply want to get through to the other end, whilst hanging on to the slim hope that THIS TIME, all will go as planned.

Through all of this runs a prayer that we have prayed many times before, a prayer that echoes the promise given when Chris was first diagnosed:

 

"This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." (John 11:4)

 

After 23 years we can say that although we have caught glimpses of that glory, that we are hungry for the real thing, for a release from the grave clothes that threaten to bind us. I say us because although it is Christopher's physical life that is affected, the effects of all of those years on the rest of us cannot be minimised, and through them we all bear different scars. We don't blame Chris, that would be crazy, and we don't blame God either, though we do question him....

...and so we hang on and wait and pray, Chris's op is on the 22nd July...

Messages to three Chapels

Chapel 1.

 

( Larger town Chapel)

 

I am more convinced than ever that the gulf between what we do in church and the questions and issues that folk outside of church want to ask us about, is growing ever wider. People are hungry for spiritual connection and have deep philosophical questions on life and meaning, which we seem ill equipped to answer.

.

I believe that this task is essentially relational, and it is vital for the church to continue relationships with the community, and to build upon those relationships. It will wear us out if we simply dash from one "good" plan to another trying to get it right.We must be in "it" for the long term; there is no quick fix and no easy answer.

.

We need to stop fiddling around with the format of services (when to stand and when not to etc), to stop being concerned with our own comfort, and really begin to seek God for his way forward. This means that we must prayerfully and actively listen to the community. In my experience we make too many assumptions about where people are.

.

Chapels 2 &3

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(Small village Chapels)

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All I can say to these two groups of folk is don’t give up, you have many gifts and are both serving your community in significant ways. Also, don’t feel bad about what you are not doing, but concentrate upon what you are doing well and keep on doing it. You are attracting others, and people value your community input... again we are in ti for the long term, there are no quick fixes or easy answers.

 

 

 

If God is for us,

who can be

against us???

 

Cries from the desert: Sermon blogging. (Ephesians 1: 3-14 & Mark 6:14-29)

This world needs a Saviour, we need people to look up to, to follow, to draw inspiration from, and yet so often we find there is no word to respond to, no person to look to. No interpreter of heaven for us….

So it was in the time before John came.

For years heaven had been silent, prayers had been offered and answered, but there had been no spokesperson, none to challenge the nation, no voice whose clarity cut through the religious niceties and drew people to the truth.

But the hunger was there, a hunger in the hearts of ordinary folk, folk like you and me, hungering for God to speak, a hunger that grew more and more intense. People were looking and longing for the Messiah to come, when suddenly (for so it may have seemed) there was a voice in the desert, a voice crying out, challenging the people to repentance. Challenging the people to look beyond himself to another voice that would soon come after him, another voice whose words would be so filled with God that God himself would be speaking….

John, that fearless messenger and forerunner of Jesus; John crying out for truth and pointing to the light. John's voice, prophesied by the ancients, a voice of truth….

It was truth that was spoken to Herod, and truth, God's truth that Herod feared as John denounced his relationship with Herodias- his brother's wife, for in his heart of hearts Herod knew that John was right, and even though he had attempted to silence him through imprisonment the challenge probably haunted his thoughts and his dreams. And yet Herod drew short of beheading John, at least for a while, for one, quite possibly drunken night, everything changed. The scene unfolds like something in a steamy novel, Herod has thrown a banquet, the food is plentiful and the wine is flowing.

Enter the dancing girl, his daughter, who pleases Herod's guests so much that he declares that he will give her anything she asks for. A quick consultation with her mother and the deal is done. John is beheaded. For all Herod's fear of John, he feared the potential mocking of his friends and guests more.

But the message was not silenced, the message still prevailed, and it was not long before the news came to Herod of this message being accompanied by healings and miracles. The message was growing stronger and stronger, it had not been silenced!

John of course had never pointed to himself, Isaiah described him as a voice crying out in the desert: prepare ye the way of the Lord… and prepare the way he did. John speaking God's message, challenging people to repentance and preparing the way for Jesus…

And now Jesus was speaking, God's message was being heard loud and clear, those who were hungry for God flocked to him….

Herod of course was not exempt from the cry and the call to repentance, if John had challenged him, how much more did Jesus? I wonder how he blocked Jesus message from his ears.

And so Jesus came, healing and restoring, and offering hope, challenging and rebuking just as John had, and more, for in him God dwelt in fullness….

We know the story of course, the way he taught, the way he challenged, the way he restored hope and healed the broken. We know the story of the cross and of the resurrection….

But I wonder today do we KNOW IT IN POWER?

As Methodists we have John Wesley's story to look back to, how he, learned as he was experienced a transformation within himself- his famous phrase, "my heart was strangely warmed" offers us a small glimpse into the transformation that took place within him. He experienced a deep assurance that all he knew was true, and with that came a confidence and boldness that propelled him out to preach God's word in the power of the Spirit.

The reading from Ephesians reminds us that in Christ, God has supplied us with everything we need. In him there is assurance, in him there is life and power. In Christ we have been forgiven, the riches of God's grace have been lavished upon us. In Christ we have been called to be a part of God's plan for proclaiming his message! And we can do it if we truly hunger for that message to spring to life within us in power.

The question is are we hungry, or have we become so easily satisfied with dry morsels of dusty old dogmas that we could not stomach real spiritual food if it were offered to us?

In Jesus we find the bread of life, in Jesus we find streams of living water, and if we dare to eat and drink we will find ourselves filled to the fullness with the love of God, our hearts may indeed become strangely warmed….

We need to awaken or perhaps re-awaken within ourselves a hunger for God, for his holiness, for his message and for his power to be at work within and amongst us. The only way is prayer, not shopping list intercessions, but plunging to the depths of our beings we might find ourselves praying without words and crying out to God not just for ourselves, but rediscovering a passion there for this place, this land and his world.

And we need not hide our faces and hang our heads in shame for:

Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we're a free people—free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, and everything on planet earth.

It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone. (Ephesians 1: 7-12 The Message)

It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. John knew that, that is why he pointed away from himself and towards Christ. Herod knew it and shrank from it, fearing the message and the messenger. Wesley knew it, and dared to step into the riches of grace that God desires to pour out upon all of us….

Dare we step into his shoes afresh today; dare we discover within ourselves a fresh hunger and thirst for God's truth to be set free in us? If we dare, he will answer, and the living waters of the Spirit will begin to flow within us again….

…and they might not make us comfortable, for they will wash away the dirt and grime of the years, dirt and grime we may have become comfortable with, dirt and grime that we may have felt was a part of who we are….

…they may not make us comfortable, but they will make us clean, and they will refresh and resource us, and refreshed and resourced we will be able to take a stand, refreshed and resourced we will find within a fresh confidence and a new assurance.

The alternative is to stop our ears from the cry of the one who loves us more than we could ever imagine. And in doing so we might become like Herod! Those who heard, and were challenged, but ultimately turned away.

On stuff and stewardship....

Tim and I have spent much of the day clearing and sorting in preparation for our move to Yorkshire. I am amazed by how much stuff, useless stuff one family can accumulate in six short years. We made two trips to the recycling centre with a fully loaded (estate) car each time. There were things that we had brought with us from Tollesbury six years before and hardly touched in all the time we have been here. There were old shoes and coats, kept "just in case"...just in case what I have to ask myself!!!

As a family we are no strangers to moving, and have even undertaken two trans-Atlantic re locations, but each time the issues are the same, and each time we wonder where on earth all the stuff came from, and each time we swear that we won't do the same again. But here we are, sorting and clearing!!!

I am heartened by the change in attitudes to recycling, when we first cleared a house for moving 20+ years ago there was very little sorting required, and almost everything was dumped into a huge skip which I fear ended up in landfill. This time everything has been sorted, and paper, cardboard, metals and plastics have each been placed in separate skips. The folk running the center were very helpful, and ready to give advice, I really appreciated that.

Next week we will hold a yard sale, this will include books and DVD's and a few games and unwanted toys ( all too grown up now). ... and we will swear not to collect so much stuff again. I hope that we will stick to this this time around. I am certainly more aware of global issues, and have matured enough not to be defined by stuff anymore. We are going to make a request of friends and family not to buy us things as gifts, but to consider an outing or a meal instead where we can spend time together. Better still a gift given in our name to help those who really do need things through an agency like Christian Aid.

More than anything I want to rethink the true meaning of stewardship, not simply as a theological exercise but as a lifestyle choice. In five years time I do not want to be asking myself "where did all this stuff come from?" For on reflection memories are better than dusty relics, and less accumulating gives space for more being. God being my helper I hope this will come about!

Friday Five: exercise

Over at Revgals Sophia says: I just got back from an 8 mile bike ride down the beach boardwalk near our home, and was struck with the number of people out enjoying physical activity. Runners, other cyclists, surfers, swimmers, dog walkers, little kids on scooters....

It's easy to lose track of my physical self-care in the midst of flurried preparation for a final on-campus interview Monday for a college teaching position in the Midwest (prayers welcome!) and the family move that would accompany it. But each day that I do make time to walk or ride my bike it is such a stress reliever that it is well worth the time invested!

So how about you and your beautiful temple of the Holy Spirit?

1. What was your favorite sport or outdoor activity as a child?

Swimming! I spent my childhood in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and everyday after school we went swimming at the Tangling Club( there was a branch in Kuala Lumpur at the time). I had a VERY privileged childhood, something I only now appreciate! I was good and enjoyed the water so much that I signed up to train and race.

2. P.E. class--heaven or the other place?

Neither really, unless we were swimming, then it was heaven! I represented the school and Essex, when we returned to England.

3. What is your favorite form of exercise now?

Err swimming ( do you detect a theme??). I also practice Tai-Chi though and that is always best with others, I love the way the movements flow together, and to watch or be a part of a room full of people who are moving together.

4. Do you like to work out solo or with a partner?

Solo, swimming is really a solo sport. Training is different though, it can help to have others to pace yourself against... I have to admit that I am a shameless show off in the pool, and love to race folk who think they are good. I can still put on a decent turn of speed, and enjoy racing unsuspecting folk, particularly young men who make a great show stretching and preparing. My favourite trick is to let them start and then to race them down the length.... it is worth it for the shocked look on their faces ( where did that middle aged woman come from? ....)

5. Inside or outside?

Either... though I currently swim indoors at a local fitness centre, it also has a sauna, which is great, I try to do about an hour of serious exercise, then stop and have a sauna, followed by a gentle session back in the pool to cool off.

 

 

There are times I forget

whose I am,

and I abuse

myself

through

foolishness and neglect.

Help me to

remember

that this skin

and these bones

are your temple,

and that you dwell

within.

Help me

to glorify you through

my body,

in what I eat,

what I drink,

and how I care for myself.

For I am your creation,

fearfully

and

wonderfully

made!

 

 

Taking a risk.....

A young friend popped round today, she is not a member of the Methodist Church, but belongs to one of the other town churches. She came because she wanted some booklets to help her talk to others about Jesus, we do have some tracts at home, but I am wary of simply handing out literature and so I invited her in for a chat.

We talked about what she wanted, and it turns out that she and her family have a holiday home on the coast and that she wanted to be able to talk with folk that she meets regularly about the God this simple soul so readily displays through her life.

It thrills me to see such passion and desire in her, and I was glad that she came to talk rather than simply buying something. We talked about the need for prayer and discernment, and how it might be off putting to simply thrust literature into someone's hand. She has left with the intention of listening to the Holy Spirit, and listening to the other person and attempting to discern when the time is right to speak, to pry and to offer some literature.

I gave her the tracts, and in doing so have taken a risk, but I will not meet the people that she meets, and to confine the work of evangelism to myself would be wrong. Before she left I prayed for her, and I will continue to pray for her, not only that but we will meet again and talk about how she got on. She will make mistakes, I have done so many times, none of us is perfect. I took a risk with her, but then God has taken a risk with me.... and so the story goes on.....

The way of grace, the way of growth ( on intentional listening and friendship)

I had lunch with a dear friend today, I trained for ministry with him on an ecumenical course. If we had not trained together I doubt that our paths would ever have crossed, but I am very glad that they did.

It is amazing that I can call him a friend, because we disagree on many areas of theology and practice, but we share a love for God and I believe that it is God who by grace enables us to be friends.

I see in him a passion for the faith that he holds dear, and I suspect that he can see that same passion reflected in me, and yet we express and appropriate the grace and love that come through faith so differently. He does not believe that women should be ordained, whereas I definitely do ( no surprises there), we look at Scripture from different angles and interpret it differently. He makes me shudder sometimes, and I know that the feeling is mutual. BUT he is my friend.

Grace enables both of us to hold our beliefs both dearly and passionately and yet lightly, grace taps us on the shoulder and reminds us that we might just be wrong. I pray for him, and I know that he prays for me, and there are times when I seek his wisdom for in it I find a deep compassion.

I find our friendship to be challenging and stimulating, as well as finding it infuriating at times. I believe that it is essential that we retain the ability to hear one another, and that we continue to see the passion for Christ that the other displays. I believe there is a real need for respectful debate and discussion amongst Christians of all flavours, and that by being intentionally open to one another we will learn and grow. It is easy to enter into a slanging match and to build small enclosures for our selves and those who think exactly as we do, it is harder and more challenging to choose the way of grace, but we must learn to do so!

Another friend-a blogosphere friend with whom I tend to agree says this:

If we only listen to those we agree with, what credit is that to us? Even terrorists do that! But if we wish to make a difference in this world, if we want the world to become a listening world, we need to lead by example. We need to become excellent listeners, active listeners … listening to those we disagree with.

He is right, grace filled listening is the way we are called to, it is a path of humility and growth.

Moving on (again)....

Over the last couple of weeks I have begun saying goodbye to various groups and people here in the West Norfolk Circuit. I mentioned in an earlier post that the requests for me to speak have been numerous, and it has been good to be able to fulfill many of those requests. Each time I preach in a Chapel this quarter I remember that it is for the last time, certainly for the foreseeable future, and that is a strange feeling for me, but I guess that having opted for itinerant ministry that it is one that I will have to get used to every five years. Interestingly our six year post as Lay Workers almost mirrors that, and I can see why the Methodist system of five years per post (unless it is extended)  works well.

I have also been marking a transition as I have been privileged to attend the ordinations of many of my Anglican friends and also the ordination and Induction of Andrew, the only other Free Church member of our cohort, folk I trained with through ERMC. As I reflect on these occasions, two in Cathedrals, and two in local churches (one Anglican and one URC), I am beginning to reflect upon my own Induction Service this September and the promises that I will be asked to make.

Yesterday I received my CRB form, an enhanced disclosure, it identifies me as a Methodist Minister, every now and then I receive a letter addressed to the Rev. S. Coleman, and that seems strange and right at the same time.

I will miss many people and groups, but am also looking forward to a new role and new challenges and possibilities. It will be a time of change for our entire family, as Tim will head off to Cliff College to begin a full-time MA in Evangelism Studies, and Jo, Jon and Chris will all enter their final years at University.

I have been asked to write a report of my time here, working in and amongst the Chapels in the Downham Market section of the Circuit, and have to admit that there are times when I wonder whether I have done anything at all, but then conversations reveal that this is not the case. I will miss the families who have become friends as I have worked with and for them, and probably anything I will miss the school where I have been privileged week by week to go and tell stories. This small Norfolk school has taught me the value of telling the gospel, not reading it to them, but making sure that I know the stories well enough to simply go an tell them. In doing this I step back into the shoes of those who have kept an oral tradition alive through the years. Story telling has demanded a creativity from me, it has demanded that I listen to the stories again for myself, and that I have understood the nuances and subtleties within them well enough to communicate well to the young people of Clackclose. Sometimes this has gone well, and at others ( thankfully not many) it has been difficult.

As I finished the assembly yesterday one class presented me with a card in the shape of a cross. I then waited as I always do for the children to file out of the hall and was surprised when many of them came and gave me a hug, one little girl said "Sally you are the best storyteller!". High praise indeed from a six year old. To have been able to communicate the gospel in such simplicity, without gimmicks is very important to me, and I am grateful that this is a skill I take with me.

And so, back to moving on, I am due to meet another friend for lunch today, he is a Curate in Plymouth, and as I am moving north I don't suppose we will see much of one another ( yes there is face-book, but it is not the same). On the way I will post the removals firm their contract....

For now back to the boxes, and the sorting....